No Safe Place(Detective Lottie Parker #4)(35)

Why couldn’t she get a job? No use wandering down that lane, because he knew why. He didn’t want to think about Sara’s drinking habits now. Things were bad enough. He was thirty-four, for Christ’s sake. Wasn’t life supposed to be better at his age? He should never have married her, and now he was living with that mistake every single hour of his life.





Twenty-Eight





Bridie McWard sat up in bed and stared over at her son in his cot. She kept the light on, and Spotify was churning out easy music on her iPhone. Still no sign of Paddy. Every night it was the same. Out until all hours. She hardly saw him any more.

She pulled the sheet up to her chin and folded her legs beneath her. She was too scared to lie down. Too frightened to close her eyes.

The key rattled in the lock and the front door opened. She held her breath, body frozen; her blood seemed to stop flowing. The door to the bedroom was pushed open and she looked up into the sorrowful eyes of her husband.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, and sat on the bed to drag off his boots.

‘That’s what you say all the time.’

She didn’t relax until he switched off the light and lay down on the far side of the bed, his breathing lowering into the soft snore of sleep. Only then did she slide down, unfurl her legs and close her eyes.



* * *



Lottie felt like she’d been run over by a ten-ton truck. The water pounded down on her as she tried to ease the stress from her mind and body. Her wound had healed well, but the pain nagged at her constantly. And a late-night cold shower wasn’t doing her any favours.

She wrapped a towel around herself, smoothed moisturiser onto her skin before pulling on warm pyjamas. She swallowed two paracetamol, then remembered the wash she’d put on that morning. Everything would be smelly and creased. Unless Katie had looked after the chore. Chances of that were slim to none.

Down in the utility room, she emptied the clothes out of the dryer and folded them into piles, then hefted the damp laundry from the washing machine into the dryer. She switched it on, turned out the light and went back up to bed.

Listening to the sounds of the house settling down and the patter of rain against the window, she thought of Katie heading off to New York with her baby. There was nothing she could do to stop her. Lottie Parker couldn’t compete with Tom Rickard. She just hoped he would treat her daughter right and send her home in one piece.

Thoughts of New York reminded her of the unofficial investigation she’d conducted into the murders from last October. She’d got nowhere, but there was a link to New York, for sure. She just had to find it.

She flipped her pillow over, fluffing up the feathers, then twisted and turned, searching for a comfortable position. She thought of poor Anna Byrne, whose daughter was never coming home. Tomorrow she would set about tracking down Elizabeth’s killer. And then she remembered.

‘Oh no,’ she groaned. ‘McMahon.’

Somewhere deep in the pit of her stomach, she knew her life was just about to turn very complicated.



* * *



Matt Mullin paused the television screen on Elizabeth’s photograph, then sat cross-legged on the floor and stared at her. Why had he let her go? Why had he put his job before love? He had loved her, hadn’t he? And she’d loved him.

He sniffed away his tears and allowed a knot of hate to fill the void in his heart. She had caused his heart to break into tiny pieces, so many that he knew he could never put it back together. Never again.

It was going to be a long night. And still he stared at her face on the television, frozen in time. He remembered that photograph. He remembered it well. Because he had taken it. And now she had been snatched away from him.

‘Oh Elizabeth,’ he cried. ‘What have I done?’



* * *



Donal O’Donnell switched out the light and went to sit at the table. He couldn’t bring himself to make his way up the stairs to his lonely bed.

The flickering of the television highlighted the photograph on the sideboard. The silver frame glistened and the young woman in the picture seemed to come to life.

He stared at her beautiful face. To him she had been beautiful. She still was. His princess. But she’d taken Maura away from him. Not just the ten years of yearning for answers, waiting for the knock on the door, mourning without a body. No. Lynn had taken his wife from him the day she was born. It hadn’t mattered that they already had two boys; now Maura had a little girl to devote herself to. And she had shut out everyone else. Smothered their daughter with overpowering emotion and attention.

The boys had suffered. He knew that then. He knew it now. But he’d done nothing to stop it. He’d gone along with Maura for fear of losing her altogether. And he’d been complicit in the treatment of his sons. It was wrong, what he and Maura had done, but he’d been powerless to stop it. Once he was in, there was no way out.

Resting his head on his folded arms, he blotted out the image of his daughter in the photograph, but in his mind’s eye he could still see her, standing there in the kitchen.

‘God in heaven,’ he mumbled, ‘forgive me. Forgive us all for what we have done.’

But Donal O’Donnell knew his soul was long past the stage of forgiveness.



* * *