No One But You (Silver Springs #2)(64)

“I could have. I might have. But it was so nice of Jessica to give me a discount, and you to loan me the money, that I felt as if it would be rude to refuse, and now I’m worried about what I’ve done.”

Thanks to the space Jayden’s safety seat took up, he could feel the warmth of her next to him. He liked having her so close, but it certainly didn’t help him rein in his libido. “Sadie, you don’t have to pay me back. As a matter of fact, I don’t even want you to. I only said it was coming from your wages so you’d relax and, hopefully, enjoy yourself. Otherwise, I knew you’d refuse.”

“Because I want to pay you back. Don’t you get it? I appreciate your kindness and understanding, but I don’t want your pity. I’m in a bad situation, which puts me at a disadvantage at the moment, but I’ll get back on my feet eventually.”

“So I bought you a couple of things,” he said with a shrug. “What does it matter?”

“It matters because...” Her words fell off and she blew out a sigh.

“I’m listening,” he said.

“It matters because I like you.” She answered grudgingly while continuing to stare straight ahead. “I want you to be able to respect me.”

He swerved around a pothole. “I do respect you!” Otherwise, he wouldn’t be working so hard to keep his mental and physical distance. Not only was he trying to give her a little help, he was trying to give her the time and space to recover from ten years of emotional abuse—without asserting his own needs and desires.

“Then you can’t treat me like a charity case,” she said. “It makes me feel like you’ll never view me as...as a responsible, likable, respectable adult. Someone who could...you know, be your equal.”

He slowed to turn in at the farm. “Sadie, buying you those clothes had less to do with you than it did me, okay? Sure, you need them, but that only gave me the excuse.”

She seemed surprised by his statement. “What do you mean?”

“It felt good to forget about my situation by buying you something pretty. Something you didn’t have to reject because of price. Something that would be beautiful on you. And, okay, maybe even something that was a little extravagant. That was the appeal of it. I wanted to feel like a man again and not a suspect for murder or someone who, like you, has a lot to rebuild. I only said you could pay me back when we went in so you wouldn’t refuse. I never planned on taking the money out of your wages. I know I chose things you wouldn’t.”

“But you spent so much on...on underwear!”

He couldn’t help grinning. “I know. That was the best part.”

*

Dawson’s words stuck in Sadie’s head for the rest of the day. She insisted on going out and helping him in the fields, but Jayden wouldn’t stay close enough for her to be as effective as she wanted. She had to keep stopping to catch him before he wandered off. Not only that, she wasn’t accustomed to such physical labor. And she was already battling such fatigue from being up so much last night.

“Go in and relax,” Dawson told her. “You look like you’re about to faint.”

She dusted the dirt off her sweatpants. “I’m doing okay,” she said, but his assessment had been far more accurate than she cared to admit. “If you can keep going, I can.”

“I could keep going a lot longer if you’d go in and make us something to eat,” he told her.

But they’d had lunch when they got home—meatball sandwiches—and it was only four-thirty. “You’re hungry again?”

“I’m always hungry,” he joked.

Breathing a silent sigh of relief, she pulled off the gloves she’d been using to protect her hands while she fought with some particularly deep-rooted weeds. “What would you like?”

“Why don’t you warm up some of that Stroganoff? That’s my favorite of what you’ve made so far.”

“I can do that.” She had the sneaking suspicion he was only trying to provide her with a good excuse to give up, but she was just weary enough to let him. “I can help more tomorrow, once I get back from the restaurant,” she said. “I’m just so darn tired.”

His muscles flexed as he kept fighting with the stubborn plant he was determined to remove. “You should take a nap after we eat.”

“If I do, I won’t sleep tonight. Nights are hard enough, you know? I can make it. Aren’t you tired?”

She grew self-conscious when he looked up at her. She was covered in dirt and sweat. “I am, but I promised Angela I’d come see her tomorrow, which means I won’t be able to work for a big part of the day. I need to make some progress this weekend.”

“I feel bad,” she admitted. “I’m the one who’s getting in the way—me and all my baggage. I’ve just sort of...crashed into your life.”

“It’s fine. What happened last night was Sly’s fault and not yours, anyway.”

“Or whoever set the fire,” she added.

Dawson leaned on his shovel. “You no longer think it was him?”

She shaded her eyes to be able to see Jayden. Her son had finally settled down and was digging in a muddy hole at the edge of their row. “I talked to Chief Thomas before I came out here. I had to tell him what to get, if he can, from the house.”