Night Road(111)

“An astronaut?”

“No.”

Grace felt bad, but she wasn’t sure why. “Where has she been?”

“She’s been … busy. I guess those are questions you’ll have to ask her.”

“I get to ask her questions?”

“She wants to see you, Gracie.”

“She does?” Grace felt a brand-new emotion unfold with her. It was shiny, like tinfoil, and sparkly as a birthday crown. “Did she miss me?”

“I think she did,” he answered.

“Wow,” Grace said again. She tried to imagine what it would be like to have a mommy, someone who would know everything about her and love her anyway. Now Grace would finally be like all of the other kids.

But why had her mommy left her in the first place? And how long was she gonna stay? What if she didn’t like Grace? What if— “Daddy?” Grace said, frowning. “How come you look sad?”

“I’m not sad, honey.”

“Don’t you want me to see my mommy?”

“Of course I do,” he said, but she could tell that he was lying. She’d seen him look sad lots of times, but this time he looked worse than sad.

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“It’s me she doesn’t like, Princess.”

“If she doesn’t like you, I don’t like her,” Grace said, crossing her arms. She could tell that her daddy was hardly listening to her. He was just staring at the picture on the nightstand—the picture of him and his sister sitting on a gray beach log.

He didn’t want her to see her mommy. Why?

And suddenly Grace was scared. She remembered what happened to Allyson in her class last year when her parents got divorced. One day Ally was in class and the next day she was gone to live with her mommy, who moved away. “I’m gonna see her, but I’m staying with you, right, Daddy? Right?”

Her daddy said, “Right, Gracie. Of course,” but for the first time in her life, she didn’t believe her dad.

“I’m staying with you,” she said stubbornly.

*

Lexi had spent the last twenty-four hours on an emotional roller coaster, rising with hope and plunging with fear. Through it all, she planned and organized. She gathered up the shoe box full of letters she’d written to Grace in prison and tied a ribbon around it. Her gift to her daughter. It was all she had.

And then, she waited impatiently.

Finally, though, it was time. She climbed onto her borrowed bike and pedaled out of town.

At the Farradays’ driveway, she slowed and rode cautiously down the gravel road. After parking the bike near the garage, she slung her ragged, out-of-style purse over her shoulder and went to the front door. There, she took one deep breath and rang the bell.

Jude opened the door almost immediately. Her face was pale, her eyes icy. No makeup added false vibrancy to her face, and without it she looked both younger and older. Her blond hair—in need of a dye job—was pulled back into a severe ponytail, and she was dressed in soft white knit pants and a watery gray sweater. All in all, she looked colorless, a woman made of clouds. “Please knock in the future. I don’t like the bell. Come in.”

Lexi stood there, reminded of what she’d done by the look in Jude Farraday’s eyes.

Jude stepped back to allow Lexi into the house.

The green sweater caught her eye.

“One hour,” Jude said. “And you’ll stay in the great room.”

Lexi nodded. Unable to look at the pain on Jude’s face any longer, she moved past her and went into the great room. Sunlight streamed through the windows and seemed to set the exotic wood ablaze. A fire burned in the giant fireplace and sent waves of unnecessary heat into the room.

At Lexi’s entrance, Grace stood up. The little girl was dressed in a pretty yellow blouse and pale blue overalls. A pair of blond pigtails stuck out above each ear like apostrophe marks.

“Hi,” Grace said brightly. “I’m waiting for my mommy.”

“I’m Lexi,” Lexi said nervously.

“You’re Lexi?” Grace said.

“I am.”

Grace looked at her suspiciously. “You’re my mommy?”

Lexi had to clear her throat. “I am.”

Grace made a squealing sound and ran for Lexi.

Lexi picked up her daughter for the second time in her life, holding her so tightly that Grace started to squirm. Sliding down to her feet, Grace grabbed Lexi’s hand and dragged her over to the sofa, where they sat down together.

Grace snuggled up to Lexi. “You wanna play a game?”

“Can we just sit here a minute? It feels so good to hold you again.”

“What do you mean, again?”

“When you were born, the doctor put you in my arms for the first time. You were so little and pink. Your fist was the size of a grape.”

“How come you didn’t want me?”

“I did want you,” Lexi said softly, seeing the confusion in her daughter’s green eyes. “I wanted you like crazy.” She offered Grace the shoe box full of letters. “I wrote these letters to you.”

Grace frowned down at the wrinkled letters stacked in the dusty box, and Lexi couldn’t help feeling ashamed, as if her love was as threadbare as her offering. “Oh.”