Night Road(101)

Off the ferry, she drove through town slowly, her eyes peeled for a dark-haired girl in Bermuda shorts and a drugstore T-shirt. She thought she saw Lexi a dozen times, and she stomped on the brakes so often that horns honked behind her.

She veered onto Turnagin Way and drove past the elementary school to the day care. There, she got out of the car and strode up to the pretty little A-frame house that was the Silly Bear Day Care. Inside, she found an empty playroom full of brightly colored plastic tables and bean bag chairs.

She went out to the backyard, where a dozen kids were playing on Lincoln Logs–type swing sets, in sandboxes, and in a playhouse. She took it all in at once, and then began looking for Grace, who she knew would be alone.

“Hi, Jude,” said the day care’s owner, Leigh Skitter. They had known each other for years. Leigh’s youngest son had played soccer with Zach. “You’re here early.”

“I don’t see Grace,” Jude said, realizing too late that she hadn’t said hello and that her voice was sharp.

“She’s with Lexi,” Leigh said. “She sure looks different, doesn’t she?”

Jude felt a chill go through her. “You let her see Grace?”

Leigh seemed surprised by the question, or maybe it was Jude’s raised voice. “She said you’d agreed to it. And there’s no restraining order in place, is there? I mean, I know she doesn’t have custody, but we all knew she’d come back someday…”

Why hadn’t Jude thought of this scenario? Leigh Skitter had known Zach and Lexi in their high school days. She’d said on several occasions how much she liked Lexi. No doubt she even felt a little sorry for her. So many people did—when Dateline did their segment on the show, plenty of people piped up to say that Lexi’s punishment had been too harsh. Yeah. Poor Lexi.

Jude felt the start of panic. Why hadn’t they gotten a restraining order against Lexi, just in case? At the very least, she should have told Leigh and the school that Lexi was not to be allowed near her daughter. Didn’t full custody give them that right?

“Jude? Is something wrong? Zach never asked me to keep Grace away from her mother.”

Jude pushed past Leigh and ran across the sawdust-strewn backyard. At the childproof gate, she manipulated the latch and kept going, racing through the trees toward the beach. There, she shuddered to a halt.

There were kids everywhere, laughing and playing. The day care’s other supervisor was over by the driftwood, watching the kids.

Calm down, Judith.

She scanned the shoreline.

There she was—a little blond girl alongside a dark-haired young woman.

Lexi.

Jude ran forward, almost falling in her sudden fury. She grabbed Lexi by the arm, spun her around.

Lexi paled. “J-Jude.”

“Hey, Nana,” Grace said. “This is my new friend.”

“Grace. Go over to Tami,” Jude said tightly.

“But—”

“Now,” Jude yelled.

Grace flinched at the harshness of the command. Her little shoulders hunched forward and she shuffled away, her head hung low.

“You have no right to be here,” Jude said.

As Lexi looked up, Jude noticed several things at once: Lexi was hard looking, almost stringy, but she was still very young. And when she noticed the girl’s frizzy, curly, untamed hair, she thought of Mia saying, she’s like me Madre, is that coolio or what? Jude stumbled back at the memory. She shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t have approached Lexi. She wasn’t strong enough. “Go,” Jude said weakly. “Please…”

“I needed to see her.”

“And you have.” Jude felt frail enough to drop to her knees. It took concentration just to keep standing.

“She’s lonely,” Lexi said, looking toward Grace, who stood apart from the other kids and stared back at them.

“What do you expect?” Jude said bitterly. “She’s grown up in a broken family.”

“I told myself I’d see that she was happy and I’d leave. But she’s not happy.”

Jude opened her purse, reached in for her wallet with shaking hands. “I’ll pay you to go. How much? Twenty thousand dollars? Fifty? Just tell me how much you want.” Lexi’s face changed at that, but Jude was shaking too hard to focus clearly. A dull thudding squeezed her chest and she had the terrible thought that she might pass out. “A hundred thousand. How about that?”

“I gave her to Zach,” Lexi said. “Gave her. Do you know how hard that was? Can you imagine?”

“Losing a child?” Jude said. “Yes, Lexi. I know how it feels.”

“I did it because I loved her. And because I trusted you and Zach and Miles to be her family.”

Jude saw the censure in Lexi’s eyes, and she knew it was warranted, and that only made it hurt more. “We are her family.”

“No. She’s afraid of you, did you know that? She says you never hold her or kiss her. She wonders why you don’t love her.”

Jude felt exposed suddenly; fear bled up inside her, bubbled out until she was shaking so hard she dropped her purse. “How dare you?” But the words had no bite, no venom.

“I trusted all of you.” Lexi’s voice broke. It was the first evidence of real emotion, and Jude seized it.