Neutral Space(23)

After I helped Kheda clear the table and wash the dishes, we went for a walk just as we had on Micea. The stars were different, and the lake was absent, but it was no less romantic. She’d found more of her perfume somewhere, and it drifted on the breeze. I didn’t want to break the spell, but I couldn’t hide my appreciation. “I see you found more of your perfume.”

“I borrowed some of Aunt Sai’s it’s the same scent. I know how much you like it.” She looked at me “I see your beard is finally gone.”

“I know how much you hated it.” I smiled at her.

She took both my hands in hers and laid her head on my chest. “Do you trust me again Jackson?”

“I never truly stopped. You just hurt me Kheda that you kept such a secret from me.” Took a deep breath and let it out.

“I thought I would lose you forever.” She snuggled in closer.

“You won’t, Kheda; I love you,” I confessed.

“Do you, Jackson?” Kheda looked up at me.

“I have for a long time. I just couldn’t admit it.” I kissed her, and she melted into my arms.

“Jackson, be with me tonight please?” I was surprised it’s not exactly what I was expecting. She was finally ready to be with me, and I was having doubts.

I looked at her, and she was serious. “First, tell me why you wouldn’t on Micea.”

“We were enemies.”

“No, the second night when you said: ‘I can’t.’”

She turned away from me. “Did I say that?”

“Kheda, you know you did. Something changed in your thinking that night. It was no longer about us being enemies; it was an internal struggle so tell me why.”

She looked at me “Jackson, I’ve never been with a man.” I was stunned after everything I heard it wasn’t what I was expecting.

“But the rumors…” I stammered like an idiot.

“Are just that. I let my men claim what they wanted because it helped their reputation and did nothing to mine. In the army, it’s acceptable for women to do so.”

“But you didn’t?” I was confused now.

“It was a personal choice Kelta asks that we remain pure until we marry as an act of discipline and self-control.” She looked up at the stars.

I wrapped my arms around her from behind “So why give up now?”

“Jackson does it look like I’m going to marry, I mean you and I…” now she was the one stammering like an idiot.

“Kheda, I would like nothing more than for you to be my wife.” I kissed the top of her head.

“Jackson, be reasonable. How would it ever work? We’d both be exiles.”

“Like we’re not already? Besides, you’re the one with a scheme to end the war, remember?”

“And if I can’t?” Kheda’s shoulders sagged.

“Who cares, I love you. Lately, it seems everything in my life has been about you anyway so why not make it official?”

She turned in my arms to face me. “This is the craziest thing you’ve ever thought of.”

“It certainly beats our last relationship.” I smiled at her. She laughed.

“I love you, Jackson.”

“Is that a yes?” I squeezed her tighter.

“I must be as crazy as you are, yes.” She kissed me again, and I’d never been happier or more worried. “Can we go to bed now?”

“Only to sleep, you’ve waited this long a little longer won’t kill you.” She looked genuinely disappointed but happy at the same time. I think it surprised her that I would be so understanding. I’d waited a long time to be with her too, a. A little longer wasn’t going to kill me either, although resisting her was going to be the hard part. Just the thought of having her near for the rest of my life was a turn on like I never thought it would be. Then there was the fact that we were still on the run I felt like I was in high school again sneaking around with Mindy Jenkins.

She slept in my arms that night content to be near me. I wondered what her aunt and uncle would say in the morning. She said I shouldn’t worry. She was going to tell them about our engagement. The thought scared me. How much more danger could we place these two in? She assured me though everything would be fine and drifted off to sleep. I lay there watching her dream for a long time worried about our future. Finally, I fell asleep and before I knew it her aunt was on the door waking us for breakfast.

Kheda got up as if nothing were wrong and her aunt said nothing. Apparently, I had less reason to worry than I thought. Kheda opened a drawer and pulled out a one-piece outfit and laid it on the bed. “Do you keep clothes everywhere?”

“You never know what’s going to happen.” She smiled as she shut the door. She pulled off my t-shirt and threw it at me. I grabbed her and pulled her to the bed. “Let go, Jackson. What happened to our discussion last night?”

“You aren’t playing fair.” I protested.

“Let go; I have to dress.” I snatched a kiss and let her go. Then I got out of bed and began to change into clean boxers. “What are you doing?”

“I have to get dressed.”

She watched me as I pulled off my shorts. “But you never changed in front of me before.”

“Suddenly you’re shy?” I asked. She seemed at a loss for words. “Last night you wanted to be with me, and today I’m not allowed to change in front of you? We are still getting married, right?”