Neighborly(92)

Whatever I’m feeling, though, I’m going to finish this tonight.

The boys show up together: Oliver, Nolan, Vic, and (to everyone’s surprise) Wyatt, who’s looking grim. Bringing up the rear is Andie. Impossible as it seems, somehow, I’d forgotten about her, just for a little while.

The women protest flirtatiously. Nolan says, “We thought it would be fun to crash!” but there’s nothing fun in his delivery. His being here is intentional. It’s deadly serious, and I have the feeling that it’s about me.

So I won’t be confronting Ellen/June alone. She called for reinforcements.

I never really knew Ellen’s brother, Mark. He was years older and always off playing sports. Back then, I didn’t think he looked like his father, but he must, a little. I mean, that first night at Andie and Nolan’s house, I saw some resemblance. Sensed something. So Mark became Nolan, Ellen became June, and they both tried to start over in the AV where no one knew about their family’s disgrace. Then I showed up.

There are greetings all around. The boys are finding another table that they can carry over and put next to ours, and Andie is doing her rounds, her lips lightly grazing my cheek.

That’s what does it, what pulls me out of my grief-stricken inertia. Whatever’s happening between her and Doug, she thinks she’s untouchable. I need to take care of this and get out of here. This ends now.

I’m on my feet, everyone looking up at me in surprise. Except for two people, who came prepared. Good thing I am, too. They don’t know my secret weapon. “Could I talk to you outside?” I say, looking at June and Nolan.

I’m so anxious that I can barely walk, but I can hear their steps behind me. I keep going, because this is for Sadie. If I don’t take care of it, I’ll live in fear, and that’ll infect her. It’ll be a poison that runs through our home. She’s been poisoned enough for one lifetime.

I don’t remember the alley, but I must have retained some sense memory about where it is because my legs are carrying me toward the back of the bar and through an unmarked door. It’s like I’m seeing it for the first time, though it’s familiar enough from the picture. It’s long and narrow, with a giant Dumpster not quite ten feet away. The night is breezy, and some garbage swirls by our feet, straw wrappers like snowflakes.

Someone just might stab you in the heart.

But not tonight. Not when everyone knows where I am and who I’m with. These two people have a lot to lose, and they’re not stupid.

Then why are they still sending e-mails when they know the police are investigating?

Because they think they can get away with anything. Because they have loyalty to each other. Because whatever happens, they’ll tell the same story.

Someone once mentioned a safety net. Well, I’ve got one of my own. There’s no backing out now.

“Hi, Ellen. Long time no see,” I say. She registers no surprise. She doesn’t speak. “Let’s start with why you put the ketamine in my drink,” I dare her.

Again, nothing.

“Or was it you, Mark?” I ask, turning to Nolan. “I mean, I get it. I get why you wouldn’t want me living next door to her and why you would want to protect your sister. It makes sense. But did you have to be so brutal?”

“No one’s done anything brutal,” Ellen says. Nolan—Mark—gives her a quick look, from an older brother to a younger sister. He’s telling her to keep quiet.

“We don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nolan says.

“Deep in your heart,” I say, “you know the truth.” I’m talking to Ellen, to my friend, the one who knows me.

“You know the truth,” she says hotly. Nolan steps forward and puts his arm around her, both support and restraint.

“I told the truth on the stand. I kept your father from victimizing anyone else.”

“He didn’t victimize anyone!” she says.

Nolan tries to intercede. “Listen, now you know who we are. We know who you are. Let’s try to work this out like adults, not children. It’s true; we don’t want you in the neighborhood. It’s very painful for June.”

“What about you?” Ellen asks him. “Isn’t it painful for you, too? She ruined our family.”

“You buy a new house somewhere else,” Nolan tells me, “and I’ll compensate you for the time and trouble.”

“You’ll buy me off, you mean,” I say. This, I wasn’t prepared for. They drug me, they poison my child, they terrorize me, and then we’re just supposed to exchange some money and I’m on my way? There’s no justice in that. And suddenly, I realize that’s part of what I’m looking for. Justice. And acknowledgment. I told the truth. None of this was my fault. It never has been.

“She doesn’t deserve your money,” Ellen says.

“You need to hear this,” I say. “Both of you. You need to hear that your father seduced me, and I spent years believing I was complicit in it. That I was the one seducing him. Because he taught me how to please him, and that’s all I wanted to do.”

“Stop talking,” Ellen says, breathing heavily.

“No! You need to hear me. I even felt guilty for testifying. I felt disloyal. Isn’t that how you felt, too?” I’m talking to both of them but looking at Ellen. She’s looking back at me, desperate. Desperate not to believe me, but I can see the knowledge is dawning. “He nearly destroyed me, but he made you think I was the one doing it to him. Doing it to your family. And hasn’t he nearly destroyed you, too? He’s the reason you were terrorizing me. That’s not who you really are. You’re a good person, Ellen. For you to do what you’ve been doing to me, even poisoning my child—”