Nate(59)

He grimaced. “Did someone--”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. Everyone’s been nice. It’s just…” They were all laughing. They were all so comfortable with each other.

“I get it.”

I looked over, hearing his words. “You get it?”

“I get it.” That’s all he said.

Graham’s eyes darkened, and I turned, but I could still feel his scrutiny.

Okay then.

A beat of silence passed between us. I didn’t know what to say.

He leaned forward in his chair. His eyes were troubled.

There was a slight glaze over them.

My brother was buzzed.

Maybe more than buzzed.

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Hmm?” He snapped back to attention, focusing on me. “Right! I wanted to talk to you about something. I don’t know if this is the right place, but I never see you, so whatever. Look, it wasn’t right what Cali did, but she feels you’re only coming into the family now because you need us.” He lifted a shoulder. “And I get that. I mean, if my dad was your dad, I’d need all the help I could get, but she’s feeling used. And she’s protective of Mom.”

That stung.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Because you treat her like shit, you know? Mom gets hurt by that. You don’t even see it. You just, I don’t know what you see, but if my mom was my mom, I’d spend as much time with her as possible.” He frowned, his eyebrows pinching together. “Wait. You know what I mean.”

I didn’t, but I did.

You treat her like shit...

Did I?

Was that what he really thought?

Everything was churning inside me.

“Hey, don’t sweat it. I’m drunk. Whatever nonsense I’m saying, don’t listen to me. You know me, I ramble when I’m like this.”

I didn’t know him when he was like this.

I didn’t know anyone when they were drunk, because I didn’t drink.

I didn’t drink with others.

I didn’t do anything with others.

Because of him.

Because of—suddenly, I felt alone and exposed and vulnerable. And I hated it.

Then I remembered what Graham said when he first came over. Monson is protective of you.

“What you said when you first sat down. About Nate being protective. Why’d you say that?”

He frowned, some of the glaze disappearing. He shrugged both his shoulders. “Because he is. Haven’t you noticed?”

Tonight? Not really.

I gestured to them, a half-hearted motion. “He’s with his family.”

“Yeah, but it’s more. He’s constantly looking for you. Like right now, he’s probably watching us.” He rolled his head around. “Yep. Look at him. He’s over there, sitting with his peeps, but he really wants to be over here.”

“Don’t say peeps.”

“His people. Whatevs.”

“Don’t say whatevs either. You’re not a teenager.”

Graham grinned, lifting his drink again. “I was an awesome teenager. Too bad Duke kept you away from us all. I was uber popular.”

I was cringing at the “uber,” too, but Graham was going to say what Graham was going to say.

“You know, Val died, and I miss the fuck out of her.” He leaned forward, suddenly looking sober. His eyes were dark. “But there’s been one thing good that came out of losing my little sister.” He motioned to me with his glass. “I got my other little sister back. I hate that she’s gone, but I thank her every fucking night for you. We’re not the bad guys your dad made you think we were. And we love you. All of us.”

My throat was full.

A lump was blocking me from swallowing.

He was right… about everything.

I whispered, “I really miss Val right now.”

“Me, too.”





33





Nate





“You haven’t told her a thing, have you?”

I was outside on the deck when Logan broached the topic. It’d been the elephant in the room, and the accusation I was hearing from him was on point. Everyone knew what was going on, and no one was telling her. They were walking on eggshells around her, a feat that our group usually never did.

Mason was on my other side. “Jesus, Logan. It’s not your kid.”

“I’m her lawyer.”

“You’re my lawyer, and I’ll tell her. He’s mind-fucked her all her life. This is not the easiest topic to broach.”

“You said you talked to her, told her it was an option. She said she knew he would go at her.”

“But talking about it and actually knowing he’s doing it are two separate things. He’s got all her past therapists on his side.”

Logan snorted, rocking back on his heels. “It’s cold out here. Why’d we come out here?”

“I thought we were out here to have this conversation.”

“Aren’t we all staying at Nate’s?”

“Where she’ll be staying, too.”

“Right.”

I let the two brothers squash everything for me.