Nate(52)

He gave a short laugh. “Lots of different types. You met the alpha protective asshole and the ruthless asshole.”

“Do I even want to ask the names of the other categories?”

Nate gave me a blinding smile. “There’s the smart-ass asshole. The just all-around dick asshole. The mean asshole. The calculating asshole. All kinds.” His smile turned sly as he focused on the street again. “The coward asshole.”

“What were you like as a kid?”

I’d been laughing as I asked, but the mood in the vehicle shifted so suddenly that it startled me. I felt tension seeping into my bones, making me sit more upright. I’d been lounging, getting comfortable in our conversation.

“The short answer?”

I was almost holding my breath. “Any answer.”

“When I was little, I was fine. When I got older, I was messed up.”

“We’ve been over my sad and lonely, privileged childhood. I was, too.”

His lips curved up, but there was no smile there. “I have some friends who have always known themselves. They’ve always been so sure of the path they’re going to take, whether it’s right or wrong. They didn’t give a fuck. They’re going to do it. I wasn’t like that. I didn’t know what I was doing half the time, not until I lost someone. Then I almost lost everyone until I got my head on straight. I was mixed up inside as a kid. Guess that’s the answer for you, but”—he glanced sideways at me—“I was probably one of those rich, privileged assholes you hid from in school.”

“You were popular.”

I knew he was. He referenced it earlier how I wasn’t popular, but he hadn’t claimed his status during that conversation.

“I was in the circle of the most popular. I think that’s the best way to say it.”

“I think Valerie loved you.”

His eyes sharpened.

I turned away, looking almost distracted out the front window. “I think she loved you, but I think she knew you didn’t love her. And I think she wanted to take anything you’d give her, so that’s why she never pushed for more from you. I think she knew she’d lose you.”

I didn’t know if he was listening. I didn’t think I was saying it for him, anyway.

“And I think if she hadn’t been with Nico when she found out she was pregnant, I think she would’ve told you.” I looked at him now. “I can’t help but wonder that if she had, would she be the one sitting here?”

A wave of sadness moved through me, but it was a good kind of sad. If that made sense? But to me, in that vehicle, feeling an uncharacteristic closeness to someone who was uncharacteristically placed in my life, it felt right at the same time to say all that I had.

And that right there made no sense to me.





*



I’d gone to a few football games in high school, but that’d been it. It wasn’t my sport, and it wasn’t my escape from Duke, so it ceased to be in my world. I was now remiss because I loved football. Though, maybe I loved attending a game with Nate?

We went in as normal fans, but Nate was getting recognized. Not a lot, but enough that he was getting more attention because of the initial attention. He moved, placing his hand on the small of my back, and he urged me in front of him. We were in the concessions line.

His head bent to mine. “Ignore the attention. It’s my relation to Blaise. No clue why these people loved him so much.”

I glanced but saw the faint grin on his face. “We should have more talks about your family.”

He glanced down at me.

“I know. I know. The PI file, so yes, I know the players, but those files don’t share everything.”

“Thank fuck for that.”

The line was moving at a good pace, and we only had six more people in front of us.

“What do you want to know?”

“Are you close to your brother-in-law?”

A wry laugh came from him as he reached for his wallet. Four people to go.

“Define close?” Another laugh, but this one sounded more wry. “Actually, I didn’t like the kid when I first met him, but he tends to grow on you. He treats my sister well, so that’s really all that matters.”

I was reading between the lines, and it seemed he adored his brother-in-law. “You love him, huh?”

His eyes lifted, and I saw I was right.

“Wait till you meet him. He’s a lot. You watch soccer?”

I shook my head. “No. It was only dancing for me.”

“Is that normal?”

“No. Well, sometimes. It can be. I chose to really immerse myself. It’s competitive the higher you go, and you can’t lose the edge, ever. I know a lot of dancers who aren’t like that, though. They live normal lives with families.”

“I get it. I think. I was shipped off to a private boarding school for a bit, so I get that world.”

“You were shipped off?”

His eyes were lidded. “My parents didn’t approve of my friends’ influence on me.”

“Did they have a right to be worried?”

Two people to go.

One.

He grunted. “Yes, but also no. It didn’t deter me from leaving as soon as I could and then still getting in trouble with those friends afterward.” His eyes grew distant.