My Name Is Venus Black(85)

“Oh my God, no. I can’t imagine it. Did you get a chance to talk to him?”

“Just for a second, in front of the school,” I tell her. “I asked him if he remembered me. He nodded and said, ‘My sister, Venus.’ But I didn’t know what to do, because I couldn’t just grab him, and I didn’t want to scare him or anything. So I drove along behind his bus until he got off and went into a house with the teenaged girl who met him at the stop.”

“You’re so smart, Venus, just like a detective! I’m flying there tonight,” she says excitedly. “Will you be able to pick me up at the airport?”

“Which one?”

“I’m flying into Oakland.”

“Where do I go? I don’t know anything about how to pick someone up….”



“You’ll be there. You will figure it out, Venus. It’s what you do.”

I don’t know how to take that. I motion for something to write with and a cop hands me a small tablet and pen. “What flight?”

“Delta flight one thirty-two. I get in at eleven-forty.”

For a moment, neither of us speaks.

“So I’ll pick you up. Eleven-forty,” I repeat.

I hand the phone back over to the cop, who’s been listening at a polite distance. He leads me into an interview room, where I’m asked to tell him and another cop more about my part in how Leo went missing in the first place.

Do I need Betty? This is the first time in years I’ve had to talk about what happened. I know my rights, and I know that they can’t make me do anything. I also suspect they’re more curious than trying to be thorough. But I don’t want to seem uncooperative, since I want them to let me take Leo home. I lift that old white sheet and share as little as possible, just the stark facts, with the police.

When they finally thank me and say I can go now, I swear to God I sense reluctance on their part. Like after learning what I’ve done, it feels weird to them that I should be out of jail, walking about free in the world.

Sometimes it feels weird to me, too.





Leo is tired from crying, but he can’t make himself stop. No matter how hard he rocks, or how many times he counts to fifty, he can’t comfort himself. He knows he is rocking number three and banging his head, which is only for emergencies, but Tessa is not here and no one is getting mad at him.

He is in a strange room with two beds. No one is in the other bed. The bedspreads are the wrong orange. There is no closet or dresser. A lady with red shoes was with him in the room for a long time, but she finally left. She told Leo to put on his pajamas. She said to knock on the door when he’s done. His pajamas are the right ones. The blue ones from home.

He finally stops banging his head and just rocks. His throat is raw. He loses track of time. Lying on his side, with his arms wrapped around his legs, he focuses all his attention on the ribbed pattern of the bedspread on the other bed. He counts eighty-nine vertical lines from the top of the bedspread to the end that hangs near the floor.

He hears the door open. He doesn’t look up, but he knows it is the same woman with red shoes. “Leo, can I help you get in your pajamas?”

Leo sits up and scoots to the corner of the bed. He is afraid the lady will touch him. She sits on the edge of the bed. “I have your toothbrush here. Do you want to brush your teeth?”



“Where’s Tony?” he asks.

“Tony can’t be here, Leo.”

“Where’s Tessa?”

“Tessa is somewhere safe,” she says.

“I want Tony. I want Tessa.”

“I know you do, Leo. But that can’t happen tonight. Can I help you with your pajamas?”

“No.”

“If I leave you alone again, will you put your pajamas on? If you put them on by yourself, I won’t have to touch you. I need you to do what I ask, Leo,” she says. That is what Leo’s teacher says sometimes. It means she might get angry and use a red voice if Leo doesn’t obey.

After the woman leaves, Leo looks at his new yellow watch and sees that it is way past bedtime. Tessa was making lasagna. He hasn’t eaten dinner, but he vaguely remembers the lady trying to get him to eat a hamburger instead of a hot dog.

He puts on his blue pajamas. The lady left his yellow toothbrush on the bed, but there is no toothpaste on it. He picks it up. He knocks on the door. The lady opens it. “Good boy, Leo!” she says. “Now let’s brush our teeth and go to bed.”

He follows her to a small bathroom. She stays outside when he goes in. He shuts the door. He sees that it is the wrong toothpaste. It is not the kind with the red and white on it. It is the wrong blue. It is so wrong that he can’t decide. He lays his toothbrush on the counter, because he can’t brush with the wrong toothpaste.

He pees. He washes his hands, but there is no towel. There is a metal box on the wall like at school, though. He knows how to use it. He tugs on the edge of the white paper that isn’t the right white and one comes out. He dries his hands and tosses the paper in the round metal container.



He opens the door. He follows the lady down a short hall to the same room as before with the beds. She pulls back the covers. She is not supposed to do that. Tessa is. And Tessa should put his clothes for tomorrow on his dresser. He wants to go home. “I want to go home,” he says.