My Lovely Wife(55)

“Fantastic,” Millicent says.

“Fantastic?”

“As long as they’re talking about her, or Owen, we don’t have anything to worry about.”

I want to bring up Jenna and how this might be affecting her. While I would like nothing more than for my daughter to be a virgin for the rest of her life, even I can admit that is not healthy.

Millicent reaches over and squeezes my hand. “You were right to switch. Annabelle wouldn’t have been the same.”

This is true. It also makes me squeeze her hand back.



* * *



? ? ?

I go up to Jenna’s room to say good night. She is lying on her bed, reading an actual book, because her laptop is downstairs. Her hair is a tiny bit longer now, and it is starting to look quite stylish, I think. She looks at me over the top of the book, asking without asking what I want.

I sit down on the edge of her bed.

“You want to talk, don’t you?” she says.

“You’re getting too smart for me.”

Jenna narrows her eyes. “Why are you flattering me?”

“See? Too smart.”

She sets down her book with a sigh. It makes me feel stupid, which is pretty common when I am around my children.

“How are you?” I say.

“Fine.”

“Seriously. Talk to me.”

She shrugs. “I’m okay.”

“Do you like the doctor?”

“I guess.”

“You’re not still scared of Owen, are you?”

Another shrug.

For the past few weeks, our conversations have been like this. They used to be different. Jenna used to tell me about all her friends and teachers—what this one did or what that one said. She would babble on forever if I let her.

I even knew about her first crush. He sat in front of her in English, which was part of why English had become her most difficult subject.

Now, she will not say anything, and it’s because of the psychologist. I think she is tired of talking.

I lean down and kiss her on the forehead. As I do, something flickers in the corner of my eye. Between the bed and the nightstand, underneath the mattress, something is sticking out. I recognize it from our kitchen.

My daughter has taken another kitchen knife and hidden it under her mattress.

I do not say anything.

Instead, I say good night and leave, closing the door without a sound. As I walk down the hall, I pass by Rory’s room and hear him on the phone. I am about to go in and tell him to go to sleep, but then I hear him talking about Naomi.

It’s impossible to keep the news blocked out of the house.





Thirty-eight




I have kept a few things from Millicent. Like the broken-down truck from so many years ago. And Trista. I did not tell her Trista had dated Owen Oliver Riley. Never mentioned that was why she left Andy, why she committed suicide.

Petra. It would be silly now to mention Petra, the woman who suspected I was not deaf. No reason to bring her up.

And Rory. I have not mentioned Rory’s blackmail, because that would lead back to Petra.

Then there is Crystal.

Millicent never wanted any help at the house; she did not trust that anyone would clean the way she wanted, nor did she want anyone raising her kids. The only time we did hire someone, it was to carpool the kids to and from school and to their various activities. That was a few years ago, when Millicent and I were both so busy at work we just could not get to everything without some help.

This was also right after Holly was killed. Before the rest.

Crystal was the one we hired to help drive the kids around. She was a nice young woman who was always on time and good with the kids. She worked for us until Millicent decided we didn’t need her anymore.

But before that, she kissed me.

It was when Millicent was in Miami for a conference with a coworker named Cooper. I never liked him.

For the three days Millicent was gone, Crystal was around more than usual. She picked the kids up from school and made dinner for them at the house. One afternoon, we found ourselves alone, and that’s when it happened.

At lunchtime, I went home to eat, and she was there, alone, because the kids were at school. She made us a couple of sandwiches, and we ate together while chatting about her family. Nothing exciting, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing that made me think she was flirting. After we finished eating, we bumped into each as I went to the refrigerator and she headed for sink.

She did not pull away.

Neither did I, to be honest. Maybe I wanted to see what she would do.

She kissed me.

I pulled away. At that point, I had never cheated on Millicent. I wasn’t even thinking about it. I was thinking about Millicent in Miami with her male coworker.

Before I had a chance to say anything to Crystal, she apologized and left the room. I don’t think we were ever alone again.

I considered telling Millicent right up to the moment I picked her up at the Orlando airport. I decided not to take the risk.

I am thinking about this because I don’t think I’m the only one not being totally truthful. I think Millicent has been lying to me. The idea came to me when Jenna got sick. I had just arrived home from work, and I was late; we were supposed to go to a party thrown by an association of mortgage brokers. Millicent was rushing around, trying to get ready, Rory was playing video games, and Jenna was throwing up in the bathroom.