My Favorite Half-Night Stand(20)

Alex Ramirez I love her so hard for slipping that in. Here’s mine: I see so many people around here emphasizing how laid-back they are, and I’ll be honest: that’s not me at all—I love to get out there and make some noise. I grew up racing dirt bikes in Huntington Beach, and now spend as much free time as I can mountain biking in the hills around Santa Barbara. I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love to dance my face off at weddings. But don’t worry—I don’t need to find someone who loves all the things I do, I want to find someone who knows who she is, is happy with who I am, and is ready to get out there and have some fun.


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio And by fun, you mean sex.


Alex Ramirez 100%


Reid Campbell Ed, where’s yours?


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio I live in one of the most active places in California, but I admit to being a bit of a homebody. Don’t get me wrong—I love being outdoors, but I prefer the quiet version: the beach at night, the shaggy coastline, the hills at dusk. Some people are happiest out and about—me, I’m happiest when I’m in the lab or with my circle of friends, enjoying a good meal, and cracking jokes. I may never be the first across the finish line, but I will be laughing the entire trip no matter what. Honestly, I’m just looking for someone who wants to be there, laughing right next to me.


Reid Campbell Wow. These are good.


Christopher Hill Has anyone seen Millie’s?


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio No.


Christopher Hill I mean, if we’re loading these now, we’ll see hers soon right?


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio Not necessarily because even if she posts it online, men can’t see women’s full profiles unless they’re granted access to them. So, you’d have to like her photo and basic profile and hope that she gives you access.


Reid Campbell But wouldn’t she? With us?


Christopher Hill I mean we’re not planning to date Mills, so maybe not.


Alex Ramirez Why not just ask her to send it to you dumbass Reid Campbell Ok, I will. Let me add her.

[Millie Morris has joined the chat]


Millie Morris What up losers


Reid Campbell These profiles are awesome


Millie Morris I know! I’m really good at this.


Alex Ramirez Let’s see yours


Millie Morris Alex, please. At least buy me dinner first.


Alex Ramirez Oh, girl, I would buy you dinner AND dessert if you catch my drift Millie Morris Well that escalated quickly.


Reid Campbell In the darkroom, right Alex?


Alex Ramirez What?


Millie Morris What?


Reid Campbell Never mind. Mills—show us your profile.


Millie Morris Okay hang on. Then I’ve got to jet to class . . .


Millie Morris Here tit is. Enjoy. “It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt. I’ve always been drawn to the eccentric, the eerie, the unbelievable. I’m a lover of books and beaches, movies and mayhem. If you want to know more, just ask!

[Millie Morris has left the chat]


Christopher Hill . . . An Eleanor Roosevelt quote? Is Millie a lesbian?


Reid Campbell Not that I know of, but now I’m questioning everything.


Alex Ramirez Huh. I feel like that last sentence could take Millie’s inbox to a lot of interesting places.


Reid Campbell So I’m not the only one who was underwhelmed by this?


Christopher Hill Are any of us surprised that it says nothing about her?


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio Maybe she’s anticipating guys being sort of gross so she’s sharing less?


Christopher Hill Maybe.


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio Someone should tell her that sucked. NOT IT


Christopher Hill Not it


Alex Ramirez NOT IT


Reid Campbell W O W.


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio What? She likes you the most


Reid Campbell Who doesn’t?


Reid Campbell So are we doing this? I have to get back to work.


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio Mine is ready to go. I’m using that pic Chris took of me last summer.


Christopher Hill The one where you’re dressed as Grimace? I think that’s a bad choice.


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio No, the one of me on your back deck, you dick.


Christopher Hill Marginally better.


Alex Ramirez Clicking submit in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .


Reid Campbell Here we go.


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio Oh, and “tits.” Everyone notice she typed tits again?


Alex Ramirez Classic Millie. Loves tits. Maybe she is a lesbian.


Reid Campbell Focus.





chapter five


        millie


My phone is ringing before the sun is even up.

Well, ringing isn’t quite right; it’s buzzing incessantly from somewhere beneath my back. I try to roll away before realizing I’m tangled in the sheets and extracting myself feels like a lot of work—my arms are asleep, my head is foggy, and I’m not ready to leave this Chris Hemsworth dream.

Dream Me asked him to stay after class and he’d just stepped inside my office and closed the door. Normally I’d be horrified by that kind of student-teacher thing, but since Dream Me is dressed as Hot Teacher, and Dream Chris Hemsworth is dressed as Thor (short-hair Thor: Ragnarok, to be exact), I’m willing to overlook it.