Munmun(45)

“It’s double my allowance though, my munflow will run out,” I said, the dancemoves have drained out of me and my voice was a humiliated squeak.

“Wait just a second here, you’re telling me a fresh strong dude like you has no job and instead relies on a sad little allowance,” said Lease, getting a little tough.

“I’m sure some zone of Mun World is hiring if you need an income,” suggested Jeans more hopefully, but I was already fleeing in disgrace, ducking back into the dressingroom and throwing on my stiff dumb officeclothes.

So that’s what I mean by Mun World was a place of constant terror. My allowance was so limited, obviously I had to save it up and never spend it, and worstofall I had the feeling of I can’t trust myself, once you let yourself spend onetime once, it’s a slipperyslope, suddenly you’re broke and brokenleg at the bottom, can’t climb back up.

Even just a little nothing purchase like bodyspray, I had the sick nightmare worry that if I said to myself, no problem, Warner, you’ll just make one exception to buy this one bodyspray bottle because girls hate it if you don’t smell brisk, the next day I make another exception for some hairclay, invisible grit to rub into your hair to make it more vertical, seem less poor, andsoonandsoforth and prettysoon I’ve broken down, made ten exceptions and bought the deluxe subscription to Fresh But Chill, looking like a sweet boss but can’t even afford the bus.

One more aspect of life on the Lifty Track, some days we had Guest Lectures. These were from businesses offering to cover an early graduation that very day for any student who wanted a better brighter future.

The most successfull of these were forhire armies, hey Lifters, come guard oilships for the Ondemand Navy, or else sit in the comfy aircondition bunker of Hoverbomb Alacart and destroy pirates in a reallife shootemup. Get the thrills of battle alongside valuable corporate experience, plus seven times out of ten it’s for noneother than the Yewess government, don’t you want to be a mostofthetime patriot.

Others it was a little harder to figure out what they were trying to hire us for, ee gee on my third day of school when a sweaty guy in a suit threw open the doors and made us call him the Empowerist.

“You can walk out the door with me today if you decide you want a better brighter future with Power Life Future,” declared the Empowerist. “Build a team, watch it grow, work from home, be a leader, the future is literally in your hands, all you have to do is shape it with the power to say yes!”

“I have a question,” said a kid named Brand.

“Being upfront with questions is a thousandpercent the attitude that makes you a perfect fit for Power Life Future!” declared the Empowerist. “Bytheway I am in love with your personal energy! Go!”

“How do you get the munmuns, like where do they come from,” said Brand, a kid of, I have to tell you, not amazing personal energy.

“Ohmygod, incredible question,” loudly whispered the Empowerist. “Because what you’re asking is, what business is Power Life Future in, and that’s the fundamental question of any business. Now heresthething. If your business isn’t the business of people, then you’re not a business, you’re just some company. But we’re so much more than that because what are we?”

No one answered him so he yelled, “A business! Ha ha! Yes!”

“Who pays you munmuns though and for what,” said Brand.

“Young powerseeker, here’s another way of thinking about your question,” said the Empowerist. “What industry is Power Life Future in?, the education industry?, nutrition industry?, home agriculture and manufacturing industry?, answer, yesyesyes but more importantly no, wrong, none of those, are we even in the subscription industry?, sure, but no, wrong again, because here’s the deepestlevel story, we’re in the wayoflife industry. As a Power Life Future native, you will have your life changed by our products, then you can and will tell everyone you know, friends, family, even randos on the bus, you’ll tell them I know forafact that I’m offering guaranteed lifechangers, because these products have literally changed my life. You know what ‘literally’ means?, it means, I’m not messing around here. You’re going to tell loved ones, I subscribe to Power Life Future’s informational vids and guesswhat. They literally open up whole new realms of thought I never knew were possible. I subscribe to Power Life Future mineralshakes, I feel my body and my brain growing stronger everyday, I subscribe to these seedpackets! I’m literally growing my own dinner and seasonings! I subscribe to threedee printing softwares and monthly shipments of Power Life Future’s proprietary plastic slabs and I am manufacturing, in my own home, plates, forks, mugs, all the dining essentials you can’t eat without!”

I glanced at Teacher, caught his eye, he frowned and shrugged like, sure, I guess, whynot.

“So, you’re hiring salesreps,” said Brand.

“No,” said the Empowerist, “nonono, look, you’ve a littlebit missed the point but I continue to be obsessed with your personal energy, whatsyourname?, Brand, oh spectacular name, thankyou, Brand, anyway sales is what we do only at the most superficial level because what you’re doing is beyond selling, because here’s the bestpart. You’re not just going to sell to everyone you know, you’re going to recruit them to Power Life Future, and when your recruits make sales, guesswhat?, here’s the mindblowing part that makes this a whole wayoflife, you get a cut, and when their recruits make sales, guesswhat thatsright you get a cut, onandon down the line and you betterbelieve it adds up pretty darn quick and that’s what I mean by a future whose only limits are defined by your power to say yes! Brand. Your team could be making you a hunthousand munmuns every month, without you selling a thing. Twohunthousand! Fourhunthousand, because you have a vision, you’re bringing people a better life and it’s your life,” raved the Empowerist and a bunch more stuff like that, and look, maybe it looks a little crazy on paper but in sweaty stuffy Lifty Gym, gottabehonest, it started sounding good to me.