Munmun(10)

“Sorry you saw that, Usher,” I said. “But, I have to tell you, I’m even more sorry you told me about it.”

The hillside looped and I approached Grant again. He flopped and flailed to match pace with me, and I couldn’t speed past him in the thick sticky shitsnow.

“Special boy, what is your job at the law school,” said Grant.

This comfy middlerich jerk had kidnapped us and mashed us into trains and made us deal with crappy animals and now Prayer was dreambanging his son with the crazy hope of one day marrying him and I just couldn’t be nice anymore.

“I don’t have a job,” I told him. “Obviously I have no job at all. None of us do. We’re littlepoor. We’re too little for real jobs. We eat garbage food and live in garbage houses and try to sell crap to each other and get robbed and there’s no way out.”

“Special special boy,” said this doofus, who couldn’t even dream right. “At the law school, what is your job you do for munmun.”

“Listen to me, jerk,” I said, tapdancing to float above the drying concrete that trapped his skis. “I know you’re not afraid of me. But that’s your stupid mistake. One day I’ll be huge. I’ll be so bigrich, I’ll put a foot through your roof. I’ll bend down and wipe your whole stupid neighborhood off this hillside with my tongue.”

“Warner, maybe get less mad,” said Usher.

The caking earth also bulged with trains, snaking underground like worms.

“I have friends who teach at the law school,” said too stupid to be afraid Grant. Finally his dreaming was becoming stronger and clearer from all the sadness. “I’ll have to introduce you. What was that last thing you said? And for that matter what has happened to my skis?”

Manohman did I need lynxbears to catch this guy and eat him.

“This dream has gotten rather savage,” said Grant. “You have quite a wild little mind.”

Willow came rolling and bellowing down the hillside, and I alittlebit enjoyed how mad she was. Okay, maybe a lot.

“This dream sucks, I hate you, and you have fiveminutes to wake up and leave the house,” she told me.

“Cool threat,” I told her.

“Ohmygod, I’m not joking,” she said. “I’m going to wake myself up and go downstairs and open the door to the basement, so Bixquick can chase you out of here, or eat the shit out of you, or whatever.”

When I heard this allofasudden I couldn’t tapdance, the ground grabbed my feet and wouldn’t let go.

Nightmares are when you can’t control your dreaming anymore, I didn’t get them verymuch but it was happening right then for sure.

“Okay,” I said. “Well, let’s wait just a moment. That’s going a little too far to punish a bad dream that’s not even that bad, just wild and crazy.”

“It’s not you, you idiot, it’s your slutty sister,” Willow said, and you could tell her anger was real, not just bitchy. “Your disgusting sister is in a bangdream with my stupid brother. Ohmygod. Does she think she even deserves to even talk to him? No.”

The ground slurped me horribly as Willow refused to shut up.

“They don’t even have anything incommon to talk about,” ranted Willow, “so she’s just skanking up all over him like maybe he’s even got half a chance to even remember her in the morning, which, no way, and I want to vom just thinking about how she came into my house and dreambangs my brother like she thinks they even exist in the same universe, ohmygod it’s so gross and embarrassing, so if you don’t crack a window and get out of here in fiveminutes, I am letting Bixquick down there and telling Dad he opened the door himself, because honestly, I mean the whole thing should make you want to vom too but I guess being littlepoor just means you don’t care when your own stupid family does something gross and pathetic,” and it seemed like she didn’t actually want me to leave, judging from how nonstop she was talking, but toobad, I danced my feet free and backflipped and dove through the ground to wipe out my dreamself and wake up.





LIFEANDDEATHWORLD


I woke up, Usher didn’t, thankgod for that, hope he can keep this psycho girl Willow in Dreamworld somehow with his prettygood dreamstuff, definitely aboveaverage.

Prayer in her sleep atleast wasn’t writhing around, for her it was just pretend horniness, but who cares, still awfull and gross. I shook her awake.

“Oh no no crap,” she said. “Oh Warner, what the hell.”

“Willow saw you having a stupid bangdream with Grantagain and now she wants to feed us to the lynxcat so I’m probably saving our lives, idiot,” I said.

She slapped my face.

“Are you kidding me?” I yelled. “You’re slapping my face right now?”

“Never talk to me like that,” she spat.

“We have to crack a window and get out of here like immediately,” I said.

But first of all in the dim dark it was hard to see anything like how to turn the lights on. I shimmied down the sinkleg to the floor to look for light or window options.

“How is Usher going to get down here,” wondered Prayer.

“Look at my very surprised face at learning this new knowledge of, you care if Usher even lives or dies,” I said, pointing to my face.