Much Ado About You(89)
What I wouldn’t do, however, was blame myself.
I pulled in a shuddering breath, pain constricting my throat as I fought back the emotion. It was the lies he’d told. The lies were almost inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Silly even. Truths that would never have stopped me from giving him a chance or loving him.
It was his ability to lie to me.
And the villagers’ deception.
All this time I’d thought I was one of them, but they’d kept this from me, like it was a game. Like I wasn’t permanent but just that summer’s entertainment.
I saw Milly approach the store door, and my stomach plummeted.
Yesterday I’d had to deal with Viola and Caro. I’d told them I was leaving, just not when, and during separate visits they’d both begged me to stay. It was hard with Viola. I was angry at her, at everyone, for lying to me, but I still cared about her. I’d still miss her.
It was heart wrenching with Caro. She’d pleaded with me not to leave before thinking things through, offering to keep me company by staying in my guest room or for me to stay with her, to give me time to fully process the situation with her support. When I refused, Caro cried in my arms, and despite being pissed at her for helping Roane lie, I’d hated hurting her.
So not only did I have Roane to blame for breaking my heart, I could blame him for the guilt I felt in breaking Caro’s heart.
Milly pushed open the door I’d left unlocked for my cab’s arrival. Even the thought of having to call a cab infuriated me. I’d never rented that car like I’d promised myself I would because I’d become solely dependent on Roane and my friends to take me anywhere I needed to go.
I’d handed over my independence to them in so many ways.
Greer was right. I’d come to Alnster to find myself, and instead I’d just lost myself in a man, and in a fantasy.
The cab wasn’t due for another half hour, but I’d thought it would be easier to wait in the store than up in the apartment that held so many memories of intimate moments with Roane.
I’d been wrong. It wasn’t easier to be down here.
Losing the bookstore was agony too.
Milly was focused on me but then something caught her attention in her peripheral vision. The luggage. Her head snapped toward it, then back to me, and her eyes widened. “You’re leaving now?”
I swallowed my guilt. “My cab is on its way.”
“Oh, Evie.” She strode toward me, determination etched in her face. “Don’t go, lass. Don’t be so rash about this. You know you belong here.”
Bitterness cut through me. “I don’t belong here. You turned me into the village entertainment.”
Milly’s face hardened. “If you knew anything about us, you’d know that wasn’t true.”
I clenched my teeth to stop myself from lashing out at her.
“Evie.” Her expression softened at whatever she saw in my eyes. “It seemed harmless at first. We all could see how much Roane liked you right off the bat, and we all heard you spouting about those silly rules. We didn’t want you to discount him for stupid nonsense like that. We wanted happiness for him. We’re protective of him. Of each other. And we let you in, Evie.” She reached out to touch my arm. “We let you in from the get-go, and that never happens, lass. We let you in because you shine so bright and you are special indeed. We knew that this place was your home before you even did. And we don’t want to lose you.”
The tears I’d been fighting slipped free. Not ravaging, desperate tears like those I’d cried in front of Roane, but that didn’t mean they hurt any less. “This place isn’t my home,” I denied. “It never was.”
Milly squeezed my arm, giving me a pitying look. “You know that’s a lie. Because for someone who supposedly doesn’t think that, you sure made yourself at home here, meddling in people’s lives. We can’t even be sorry for it,” she rushed to assure me as my face fell. “Look at all you’ve done since you came here. You gave Penny the opportunity to see if Melbourne was the right place for her. You helped Caro find the confidence to leave that wicked woman behind and start her life. You brought Annie and Maggie Foster together after years of separation. And I know that it was you that meddled between Viola and Lucas.” She gave me a semi-chastising look. “Viola told me you were the one who realized Lucas cared for her, and although I wish some things didn’t happen the way they did, I can’t say I’m not happy for how things have turned out. That boy looks at my bairn like he’d take a bullet for her . . . and although I was worried about them, how can a mother not be happy that her bairn is blissfully in love with a boy who loves her back just as much. With everything he has. Lucas loves Vi just as much as Roane loves you.”
“Milly—”
“And because of you, Kathy Elliot came to me.”
Shocked, I shut my mouth.
“Aye. We talked for the first time ever. All because she doesn’t want to lose Lucas. She and I made peace, Evie. Not with West. That’ll never happen. But Kathy and I made peace for the sake of the kids. And that’s because of you.” Her eyes shimmered now as she reached up to caress my cheek, her expression almost motherly. “You’re a piece of magic, lass, and this place needs you.”
The strength I’d been holding on to failed me and I ducked my head as I shuddered and choked on my tears. After a minute of trying to keep it together, I raised my head. “I’m sorry, Milly,” I whispered with regret. “I can’t stay.”