Much Ado About You(76)
“Shush.” I gripped her elbows. “No judgment here. Nothing you say to me will ever leave this room.”
She swallowed hard. “I’ve wanted to make amends with Annie for years, but I was afraid of him, and then when he got ill, I realized I was more afraid that Annie wouldn’t forgive me.”
I contemplated Maggie’s situation for a moment, trying to organize my thoughts. Finally, I said, “I assume Annie is well aware of the state of your marriage?”
“Aye. Before she came out to us, when she was still a part of our lives, she defended me a lot to him. I need her forgiveness for that too. She was my protector when I was never hers.”
“But understanding what you were dealing with, perhaps Annie will be more willing to forgive you than you expect. It’s your silence that hurts. I can’t tell you if Annie will forgive you, but I can tell you that if you don’t try and ask her for that forgiveness, she can’t give it to you. Be brave and at least you’ll know, one way or the other. Don’t let yourself regret not doing anything.” I squeezed her arms.
Maggie sighed wearily and gave me a sad but affectionate smile. “You’re a sweet, sweet girl. But I just don’t know if I have that in me.” She pulled away and left the shop before I could reply.
I stared after her, slightly shocked she’d confided in me. Neither of us had expected such an intense moment in our short encounter. I felt melancholy for Maggie and Annie, and I really hoped Maggie found the strength to do what was right.
Yet I also felt a weight lifting off my shoulders.
When I returned to the States, the first thing I would do was meet with my mom and tell her that although she’d hurt me over the years, I knew she was a good person, that I would always love her, and I would always forgive her.
She was my mom.
* * *
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Although I kept to my promise and didn’t tell anyone about the words Maggie and I exchanged, I did tell Roane that she’d confided in me. He, unlike me, was unsurprised.
“How does it not surprise you? The woman opened up to me: a passing acquaintance. I mean, I told her a little about Mom, but I hadn’t expected the reaction I got,” I’d said as I relayed the encounter to him hours later.
“People sense your kindness and they trust you for it, Evie. They tell you things.” He’d cuddled me close on the sofa. “And I’m glad you feel better about your mum.”
“Thanks.” I snuggled deeper into him. “There’s a lot to forgive, though.”
“She can’t help her addiction,” he reminded me gently.
“True. But it’s how it made her act. Selfish and deceitful. I can’t abide liars because of her. She used to hide her drinking from me and lie about it. She even stole money out of my wallet to buy gin and lied about that too. And then there was how she missed important moments in my life because she was passed out on a bathroom floor somewhere.” I’d sighed, frustrated with myself for getting upset all over again. “I have to let it go. I’m starting fresh with her. It’s a risk I’m willing to take again.”
Roane had been extremely quiet after that, and I realized as we went to bed that I’d spoken of returning to Chicago to have the conversation with my mother. However, I hadn’t specified whether the trip would be one-way or not.
I wondered if it concerned him.
While it was on my mind to discuss it with him, somehow life just got in the way over the next few days. We were both busy with work; moreover, I’d offered to help Caro with the cupcakes she was baking for a birthday event she’d booked. I’d closed the bookstore to help her in the kitchen as much as I could.
To celebrate her getting the job done and me aiding her, the three of us ventured to The Anchor a few nights after my conversation with Roane about my mom. However, as soon as we walked inside the pub, we drew to a startled halt. It was the busiest I’d ever seen the place. Milly was red-faced behind the bar.
Alone.
Where was Viola?
I turned to Roane. “I’m going to help Milly.”
He gave me an affectionate smile followed by a quick kiss to the lips. My mouth tingling with his sweet touch, I strode to the bar and lifted the top to get behind it.
Milly shot me a startled look.
“I used to bartend after college,” I explained. “Who’s next?”
She almost sagged with relief. “Thanks, pet.” She gestured to the opposite end of the bar. “Start down that end.”
Time passed quickly as I poured pints and mixed drinks for the seemingly never-ending line of customers. I didn’t know how long we’d been working when Milly called from the other end of the bar, “Evie, can you go down to the cellar and get another bottle of Macallan? I’m pouring the last of it now.”
I nodded. Weeks ago, Dex had given us a tour of the pub’s cellar, where they kept their stock, to show us their personal wine collection. He’d let us select a bottle, and we’d drunk to my staying another three months in Alnster. Hurrying out from behind the bar, I pushed through the door marked staff only that led into a large hall. That hall branched off to the stairs that led up to their family apartments, stairs that led down to the cellar, and a door that led to the kitchen.
I’d taken the first flight of stairs down to the cellar, when I heard the murmur of voices. The sounds from the bar area made it hard to hear, but I was pretty sure there was someone down there. Thinking it was probably Dex, I kept walking until I could hear the two voices clearly.