Most of All You: A Love Story(33)

“Crystal? The girl who called you at work?” He shook his head, his lips thinning as he let out a harsh exhale through his nose. “Her being a stripper gives me all the information I need. I don’t want a piece of garbage moving in here!”

He was judging her without knowing her at all. “Goddammit, Dom. Give me some credit.” I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath, attempting to control my frustration. “Listen, if you don’t like it, you can move out. I hope you don’t. I hope you’ll respect my decision on this and keep an open mind.”

“I won’t fucking let you do this, Gabriel.”

“I’m not asking for your permission.” I went to my bedroom and closed the door, shutting out my brother’s hostile glare.





CHAPTER TEN


Look! The flowers are just blooming. They’re beautiful, aren’t they? Do you see them? Look with your heart. Do you?

Lady Eloise of the Daffodil Fields

CRYSTAL

After agreeing to stay with Gabriel, I slept most of the day, so weary and in so much pain, all I felt capable of doing was shutting down.

When a detective arrived the next morning to question me about my attackers, I told him what I remembered and gave the best descriptions I could. I felt numb as I recalled the attack, as if it might have happened to someone else.

And yet as reality settled in, I couldn’t deny the severity of my condition: My body was battered and helpless, my spirit completely crushed. How had my life arrived here? How had it come to be that I was so broken and lost, heading home with a man I barely knew, a man I couldn’t begin to understand, a man who both soothed me with his gentle manner and scared me with his knowing eyes? And yet as I lay there, I admitted he was also a man I somehow innately trusted when I trusted no man. Ever. It was all too much. I didn’t want to think. I just wanted to sleep.

The doctor examined me at two p.m. and shortly thereafter signed my discharge papers. I didn’t have any insurance, and I knew I’d be buried under a mountain of debt I’d never climb my way out from under. If only I’d thought of that before I’d mouthed off to the three animals that did this to me. Who was that girl? She seemed both overly brave and ridiculously stupid, and I couldn’t connect myself with her. I couldn’t remember who she was. I felt like a mere shadow of myself.

Kayla had visited that morning, bringing me an overnight bag with clothes and toiletries from my apartment. She texted me as I was being wheeled from my room that she had to go into work early, but that Gabriel would be there to pick me up.

Gabriel.

Why was he doing this? Why was he taking me in when I’d been so awful to him? I recalled waking up to see his face above me as I’d been wheeled through the hospital hallway, thinking at the time that I was in heaven and he was an angel. But even in the light of day, there was something so …steady about him, something sure and solid, despite his self-professed weakness. He was confusing and full of contrasts. Beautiful, steady Gabriel with his shy smile and tentative touch. The man who had hesitantly offered me a hand-picked bouquet of flowers and blushed when I’d refused them, but then confidently told me I was coming home with him. Who was he? What did he want with me? Perhaps it was a question better left unasked.

And maybe he had changed his mind. Maybe he wouldn’t show up at all. And that was fine, too. I’d … what would I do?

You could call your father.

No!

God, no. Never.

Anyway, he might be dead for all I knew.

“Ready?” the nurse asked, turning my wheelchair and pushing me toward the elevator.

“Yes,” I murmured.

“Who’s meeting you to drive you home?” she asked kindly.

“My … friend. I think.”

“Well, we’ll just wait by the elevators. Do you want to call and see if they’re held up?”

God, I didn’t even have his cell phone number anymore. I’d have to call Kayla to get it. And then what would I do? Call and ask him where he was? Force him to tell me that he’d changed his mind? “No.”

“Oh. Well, okay.” She pushed me to the bank of elevators, and we stood there together, waiting in silence. There was a clock on the wall, and the ticking sounded loud in my head, the minutes potentially counting down to the moment when I’d be forced to acknowledge that I was on my own. And yet, part of me wanted just that. If only I wasn’t virtually helpless. The pain pills I’d taken earlier were starting to wear off. I was in need of another dose, and I shifted in discomfort. The clock continued to move, my heart rate seeming to match its steady tick.

“Maybe—” the nurse began to say just as an elevator dinged open, Gabriel stepping out, looking rushed, his hair pushed back from his forehead as if he’d jumped out of the shower, run a hand through it, and driven here.

His face broke into a smile when he saw me. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Oh you’re not late,” the nurse said. “You showed up just in time.”

You showed up just in time.

Just in time?

The words echoed in my head for some reason.

“Good,” Gabriel said, smiling at me. “Ready?”

I knew I glowered back, but I couldn’t muster a smile. I felt broken, humiliated, confused, and helpless. And it didn’t help that I knew I was barely tolerable to look at. At the very least, I had always had my looks. Now I had nothing at all. “Yeah.”