Moonlight Over Manhattan(104)

She wondered how it was, after all the intimacies they’d shared, she could feel awkward and uncomfortable being in the same room as him. “Have you eaten? Can I fetch you something?” She wanted to ask why he was so tired, but knew she shouldn’t be asking questions that personal.

“Later. First there are things I need to say to you.” He took her hands and pulled her against him. “That night in the cabin when you told me you loved me, you scared me.”

“I know. You felt a responsibility to love me back, but—”

“I do love you back, and it has nothing to do with responsibility.”

She stared at him, wondering if she’d heard him correctly. “But you said—”

“I know what I said and when I said it, I believed it. When it comes to relationships, you’ve set the bar high. I was afraid I couldn’t be what you wanted me to be.”

“Oh, Ethan—” Her eyes filled. “I’ve only ever wanted you to be who you already are. I don’t want a fake version of you. I want you.”

“I know. I’ve had time to think about that, and other things. Like how much I love you.”

“Really? You were sure that you didn’t have those feelings.” She felt shaky and unsteady. “How do you know?”

“Over the years I’ve learned to switch off my emotions. It’s almost become easy for me. I thought that was why my marriage didn’t work. I thought that was why I couldn’t give any relationship what it needed. When you ended it, I told myself I’d switch off what I was feeling, same as I always have. But it didn’t happen. That was when I realized that what we have is nothing like any relationship I’ve had before. My feelings are nothing like I’ve ever experienced before.”

“Ethan—”

“What I feel for you is too powerful to be buried. And it’s certainly too powerful to be ignored. I know, because I tried.”

She lifted her hand and touched his cheek. “Is that why you look so awful?”

“Turns out I don’t sleep well when you’re not in my life.” He cupped her face in his hands. “You’re not the sort of person who switches love on and off, so I’m assuming I’m not too late?”

She stared into his eyes, hardly able to believe this was real.

“Of course not. I love you.”

He groaned and pulled her against him. “I love you too. I want to be your forever family, or whatever it is you call it when you find permanent homes for those animals you foster.”

Forever family.

Merry Christmas, Harriet.

Her throat thickened and she leaned her head against his chest. “I want that too.”

“Are you sure? You said you knew my strengths and weaknesses. I want to make sure that you do, because I’m not easy to live with. There will be days when I’m so focused on working I’ll forget to call home.”

She lifted her head and smiled. “I already know that. I know you. But while we’re confessing all, you should probably know that I intend to get a dog. Are you okay with that?”

“Funny you should say that,” he said, his tone conversational, “because my Christmas gift to you is going to be a puppy but I thought that, given you’re the dog expert, you’d prefer to choose it yourself.”

“We’ll do it together.” She slid her arms round his neck. “We’ll go to the shelter and find a dog that needs a home.”

He kissed her and it was at least five minutes before she was able to speak again.

“I’m glad you decided to be Santa.”

“You do something you find hard every day. I figured that the least I could do was give this a try. It worked, I think.” He looked pleased with himself. “I was a hit with the kids.”

“I never doubted you would be.”

“And it occurs to me that I had something to give all of them, but nothing to give you.” He smoothed his hand over her hair. Kissed her mouth. “I came rushing over here because I couldn’t wait another moment to talk to you. I don’t have a ring. I don’t have anything. All I brought is the promise of a puppy. This is not the romantic proposal you deserve.”

“Are you kidding?” She almost choked on the words. “You’re giving me love. That’s the best gift of all.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you know me as well as I think you do, then you know I’m sure.” Her heart felt full. “Ethan, you brought yourself. The only thing that matters is that you’re here. That you came. That you love me.”

He wrapped her tightly in his arms. “So what’s the next challenge?”

She leaned her head against his chest, breathing him in, feeling her future opening up like a bright shining path. There would be obstacles at some point, she knew that. But she also knew she’d deal with them. “I don’t know what’s next. But what I do know is that when you love someone, and they love you back, everything seems like less of a challenge.” And she knew that wherever life took them, they were going there together.

*





THANK YOU


THANKS AND BIG hugs to my talented editor Flo Nicoll, who has worked with me for the past four and a half years and who always pushes me and demands the very best. This is our twelfth book together and I like to think we’re a perfect team.