Missing Dixie(73)

“Oh yeah?” Dixie gives me an adorable half smile. “And what’s that, drummer boy?”

“It was time for me to make my own choice, for me.”

She nods with shining eyes. “And what did you decide?”

“I decided we’d better haul ass if we’re going to make it back to the Tavern on time.”

Dixie yelps out a small cry as I wrap her in my arms and place her in the truck. Dallas says something that sounds like “hell yeah,” and we are off.

On the way to a bright new future, on the path that was meant for us, the one that began the day I met Dallas and Dixie Lark on an old, dilapidated front porch.

“One, two, one, two, three, four.”

I count down the beat and we launch into the song Dixie wrote for our original performance in the battle of the bands. Dallas made a few modifications and with my beat in the background it’s become one hell of a song. The audience seems to agree as we play, but we all know it isn’t up to them. It’s up to the competition judge’s panel, which includes an executive from the record label that will be signing the winner.

My palms are sweaty as hell but I manage to hang on to my sticks. I watch Dixie as she performs, and think of how she may never realize I have been watching her, loving her, from this vantage point since we began playing years ago.

The crowd is quiet for a moment when we finish and I begin to panic. But just before I’m convinced they hated it, applause breaks out and fills the room. It’s loud and enthusiastic and for a little while it feels like we already won.

We make our way offstage and head to the bar behind Dallas. He orders all three of us drinks, even Dixie, and we each take a shot of Fireball.

“We killed that,” Dixie says, grinning at me after making a twisted face at the burn from the shot. “I mean, I was nervous, you know? It’s a new song, we hadn’t rehearsed as much as we should have, but wow. We nailed it. It was even better than I imagined it could be.”

“Agreed,” Robyn says, coming up behind Dixie and sidling up to where Dallas is leaning against the bar. “I’m biased, but personally I think it’s in the bag.”

“Might be,” Dallas says before planting a kiss on her lips. “Even if it’s not, it was one hell of a performance.” He reaches out to fist-bump me and Dixie and we return the gesture.

“It’s been one hell of a night, that’s for sure.” I take a long pull of the beer Jake brought me and nod toward Dixie. “Think we could catch a minute outside? Alone?”

Dixie grins at me and her smile is everything. “I think I can spare a moment for you. Maybe.”

It takes us a while to maneuver through the crowd and make our way to the back door but we do. Amid several pats on the back and hearty congratulations we finally escape the insanity.

“That was something all right,” I say once we’re out back beside the dumpsters.

“Yeah, it was.” Dixie leans back against the building and stares up at the stars while I stare at her. “You think everything has a purpose, Gav? Us? Our music? All of it?”

I clear my throat and glance up at the stars with her. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess I hope so. It’d be nice to know someone was up there knowing what they were doing. Clearly none of us down here have it all figured out.”

She laughs lightly but her smile is faint.

“Everything okay, Bluebird?”

With a heavy sigh she turns toward me. “I am so proud of you for tonight, for choosing this instead of the darkness. But I can’t stop thinking about someone else. Someone else I’m afraid will forever be lost in the dark if we don’t do something.”

“You got another man on the side, Lark? I gotta say, I didn’t see this coming.”

She shoves playfully at my chest. “Liam, Gav. I can’t stop thinking about Liam. About what he’s going through and how sad he must be and confused. Scared, probably.”

“Probably,” I agree. “But they’re keeping him away from Carl and that’s certainly a good thing.”

She wraps her arms around herself and I decide to wrap mine around her as well. “I know. I’m glad he isn’t with Carl. I just keep thinking I wish I’d had more time with him. More campouts, more cookies to make, more music lessons to give. I . . . I miss him.”

I squeeze her tightly. “I know you do, babe. And I get it. But a little boy like that, one who’s had a life like mine, he’s a lot of responsibility. Especially when you’re a twenty-year-old woman living on her own—busy with a band and a thriving music business.”

“I don’t care about any of that,” she bites out.

Color me surprised. “You don’t care about Leaving Amarillo or Over the Rainbow? Since when?”

She shakes her head and shrugs out of my grasp. I let my hands fall to my sides.

“I do care about the band and about my organization. That’s not what I mean. I just mean all the successful bands or businesses in the world won’t mean anything if I have to live my life knowing that little boy slipped through the cracks.”

I nod. “Like I did, right?”

She gives me a thin smile and watery eyes. “But don’t you get it? You turned out okay, because you found a family to care for you. Me, Dallas, Nana, and Papa. You had us. You found love. It’s why you’re surprisingly well-adjusted. Why you choose the light instead of the dark. But that’s why I’m worried. What if Liam doesn’t ever find that?”