Million Love Songs(60)

‘It will come right, I’m sure. All you have to do is persevere. Soon they’ll be off enjoying their own lives, maybe at university or travelling. The pain of this time will recede.’

‘Wise words,’ he says. ‘When you’re in the midst of it, sometimes it’s hard to retain your perspective.’ Then he laughs. ‘Before I get too maudlin, I’ll pay the bill.’

‘Let me split it with you.’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ he says.

‘My treat next time.’

He fixes me with a warm gaze. ‘I like the sound of that.’

‘Me too.’

‘I have to take this slowly,’ he says. ‘I’d like us to see each other again, but I have to think of the kids. They’ve been through too much for me to cause any more disruption. I don’t want someone coming into their lives only to crash out a few months later. I have to be sure.’ It seems as if he’s been thinking about this a lot. ‘It’s not an excuse. I really do want to see you, but can we agree to take it one step at a time?’

‘That suits me fine.’ That’s clearly the sensible thing to do. And we are both very sensible grown-ups.

Then he drives me home and we park outside the granny annexe. We sit awkwardly in the car together, turning towards each other.

‘Thanks for a great evening, Ruby.’ Joe leans over and kisses me softly. ‘I’m out of practice with all this.’

‘It seemed all right to me,’ I admit, head spinning.

‘I’d better be off then.’

We both linger and then kiss some more. It feels so right to be in his arms.

My mouth goes dry when I say, ‘You said the kids were away tonight?’

‘Yeah.’ Our eyes meet and, hesitantly, he says, ‘I could stay for longer.’

I try to sound nonchalant. ‘If you don’t have to rush back for the kids.’

‘This isn’t really taking it slowly, is it?’

We both laugh at that. ‘No, it’s not,’ I agree. ‘But maybe we have to seize the moment.’

This time, without pausing, he blurts out, ‘OK.’

So, with an indecent amount of haste, we get out of the car and climb up my stairs together.





Chapter Forty-Nine





We’re kissing again before I even open the door. In the living room, I make no pretence of offering coffee and we fall on each other hungrily, his mouth on mine, his hands exploring my body. We fall onto the sofa together and continue our fevered exploration. I fumble with the buttons of his shirt and he struggles with the zip of my best Primarni. We are half-naked, rumpled and revved-up when his phone rings. He looks at it with indecision and I want to say ‘don’t answer it’, but I know that it might be one of the kids and he can’t ignore that.

‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘Really sorry.’ He holds up a finger as he grabs his phone. ‘Don’t move a muscle.’

But I do. I rearrange my clothing so that it’s slightly more decorous.

‘Hi,’ Joe says into his phone and then mouths at me ‘Daisy’ as he moves away from me to pace the living room floor, head shaking as he does.

Hopefully, it’s nothing too serious. Maybe she just wants to say goodnight to him. Though the pacing may suggest otherwise. Surely her mother could deal with it? I keep my fingers crossed and my mind wanders while he murmurs into his phone. This has been going well, very well. We could move to the bedroom, I think, when festivities resume. Though I’d have to turn Gary Barlow to the wall.

‘Yeah. Yeah,’ he continues his pacing while running his hands through his hair. ‘I’ll meet you there.’ He hangs up and turns to me. ‘Sorry. Sorry.’ His face is bleak. ‘That was Gina. Daisy’s slipped on the stairs going up to bed and has landed awkwardly. Her hand has ballooned. Gina’s worried it might be broken, so they’re waiting at A&E now. I’ll have to go down there and see if she’s OK. Sorry.’

‘Don’t apologise,’ I say. ‘It’s important.’ Though inside I’m cursing the bad timing of this.

He starts to button his shirt, embarrassed now.

‘You could come back,’ I offer, trying not to sound desperate.

‘I don’t know how long this will take. A&E on Saturday night will be like bedlam. We could be in for a four-hour wait with the drunks.’ He sighs. ‘Plus she might want to come home with me rather than go back with Gina.’

‘Can I do anything to help? I’ll come with you, if you like. I don’t mind. Really.’

‘Thanks for the offer, but I’d just better shoot off. Sorry to run out on you like this.’

‘Do what you have to do. It’s not a problem. Your daughter’s well-being is the most important thing. You need to be there or you’ll only worry about her.’

There is something approaching despair in his expression. ‘I’ve enjoyed it though, Ruby. Can we do it again?’

‘I’d like that,’ I say. In fact there’s nothing I’d love more. I wish he didn’t have to dash off and that we could spend the night in each other’s arms. But it’s not to be. Not yet.

‘I hope that Daisy’s all right. Text me when you know what’s wrong.’