Million Love Songs(12)

‘Oh, really?’

‘With a group of other divers from the club. Not like a date or anything. He didn’t single me out. Don’t get over-excited, we’re not planning to get engaged.’

‘Shame. I could do with a party to go to.’

Me too. I need to do something to kick-start my party-party lifestyle. ‘Downside: he’s recently separated and has a couple of kids. That’s definitely not on my shopping list.’

‘It seems pertinent to remind you that there are very few guys out there of our age who don’t have history of some sort.’

‘Yes, but he’s right in the thick of it. They still sound as if they’re at war. Besides, he has full custody of his kids and I’m not really child-friendly. I think the mothering gene has passed me by.’ I can’t say that I’ve ever had a maternal pang. Perhaps that’s because the men in my life to date have all taken more looking after than a kid.

‘You and me both. Though I might have made an exception for Gary Barlow. I’d have been quite happy to push out a football team if he’d asked nicely.’

We both have a good giggle at that. ‘You know he’s a very happily married man.’

‘Of course I do and that’s part of the attraction. You know that he’s good husband material.’

I suppose she has a point.

Then Charlie adds, somewhat darkly, ‘Besides, things change.’

They certainly do. She’s right about that if nothing else. One minute you can be happy and settled, the next minute you’re not. Someone waves their crystal-encrusted chuff at them and they’re off. Though I think the chances of Charlie ending up with her unattainable pop star are about the same as me finding a nice, uncomplicated, child-free man to love.

‘It’s a shame, as this instructor is quite cute,’ I say rather wistfully. ‘If he was by himself, I might be quite interested.’

‘Don’t go overboard with praise,’ Charlie quips.

‘You know what I mean. I think he could become a friend if nothing else. He’s nice to be with. And, while he’s not romance-appropriate, he seems like a good instructor. So I’m going to give scuba-diving another go.’

‘Foolish woman.’

I grimace and try not to think how panic-stricken I was on my first lesson. Confidence will come in time, I’m sure. I just need to try to stick with it. I’m not a good sticker. I have a history of flitting about from thing to thing. Maybe I’ve just never found my niche before.

‘There’s a day out to a dive place coming up which I’ve been invited to. I’ve checked my shifts and that’s my weekend off. I don’t know if it’s my thing though.’

‘I guess you never know until you try it.’

‘The same could be said of many things,’ I point out.

‘Go. There might be some other hot stuff single dive bloke without kids that you haven’t met yet. If you’ve nothing else on that day, what have you got to lose?’

‘True.’ Plus it means I can put off painting the granny annexe for yet another week.

‘So the scuba-diving lesson wasn’t a complete waste of time?’

‘Far from it. I’m prepared to admit that I didn’t exactly enjoy the whole diving thing while it was actually happening, but I felt exhilarated afterwards.’

‘You could be talking about the last time I had no-strings-attached sex.’

We find a filthy guffaw for that.

‘Speaking of no-strings sex,’ Charlie continues. ‘How did you get on with Shagger?’

Ah, moment of truth. ‘I quite liked him,’ I confess, wincing as I wait for the backlash.

Charlie looks at me aghast. ‘Awh, come on! He’s a complete sleazeball. What’s wrong with you, woman?’

‘Sorry.’ I cringe a bit more. ‘He’s a smoothie, no doubt. But he can rock a sharp suit and he has a certain charm too.’ Charlie rolls her eyes at my obvious lack of taste. ‘I know, I know. Maybe I’m on heat or something. Is it a full moon? I’ve had my head turned by two men in the last couple of days. That usually doesn’t happen in a couple of years.’

‘I don’t want you going anywhere near Shagger. Seriously. He’s had every gullible woman that’s come through this place.’

‘Including you?’ I tease.

‘I said gullible,’ she stresses. ‘I’m totally immune to Shagger’s charms. I only have eyes for Gary. You know that. It’s you I’m worried about.’

‘I’ve met men like him before, Charlie.’ I feel slightly piqued that she thinks I’d be so easily fooled by a bit of flattery. ‘Many, many times. I’m a woman of the world. I know how to handle him.’

‘Yeah, so did the last assistant manager. Yet she was on that bar with her knickers round her ankles before you could say “inappropriate”.’

‘Oh my God. How do you know?’

‘CCTV is a very cruel and revealing thing.’

‘Nooooo!’

‘Oh, yes. Everyone in the staffroom saw it. Her resignation was on Jay’s desk the following morning.’

‘Poor woman.’

‘Silly, silly girl, I’d say.’

‘Harsh, though.’