Midnight Sun(30)


Charlie points to a star. By now, he knows all about my obsession with the constellations and how I want to be an astrophysicist someday. “So which one is that?”

“That one’s called Altair,” I tell him. “I think it’s sixteen light-years away. So the light we’re seeing was actually created when we were, like, two years old.”

“That’s insane.” Charlie laughs and points to another. “What about that one?”

“That’s Sirius.”

“Like the radio?”

I give him a playful nudge with my elbow. “It’s the dog star. Almost nine light-years away.”

Charlie gets quiet. I can almost hear the gears turning in his mind. For a brief second, my heart quickens as I wonder if he’s somehow found me out. Even though I know how unlikely it is, I can’t help thinking about all the ways it could happen. Maybe Zoe’s been doing some sleuthing and texting him her discoveries? Telling him about my disease is going to be hard enough. Maybe she found our class photo from kindergarten and has managed to identify me even though none of our names were on that photo and I had a weird bowl cut that year. (I guess it’s lucky I left school so early in first grade that I missed photo day.) Having him hear about it from someone other than me would be devastating. I feel like it would break any trust we’ve built up in the short time we’ve known each other. I have to tell him. I have to. I gather my courage.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask, holding my breath.

He hesitates. I can tell that whatever he has to say is something big and weighing heavily on him. “The coach at Berkeley called me the other night. I guess one of the other swimmers transferred, so a spot just opened up.”

I exhale. “Are you serious? You could get your spot back?”

I am deliriously happy for him. Because if there’s anyone who deserves a lucky break and a shot at college, it’s Charlie Reed. He’s smart and sweet and thoughtful and hardworking and all sorts of other good things. I’m so glad the universe is recognizing that one mistake shouldn’t have to mean all his dreams die with it.

Charlie shrugs. “I mean, technically, yeah. There’s a meet coming up in a month, and the Berkeley coach will be there. I’d have to get back in shape by then, which is probably impossible, and then make, like, the best time ever to prove I’m fully rehabbed.”

I grab him by his shoulders. “You could totally do it. I know you could.”

Charlie stares into the fire like he’s going to find the meaning of life in its flames. “I don’t know. I might have some reasons to stick around here next year…”

It’s maybe the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. “I’ll be right here when you come home to visit. Promise.”

My phone’s been buzzing like crazy in my pocket all night, and I’ve been ignoring it. But it’s getting late and I know I should’ve been home hours ago, a fact my dad is probably reminding me of at this very second. I sigh and check out my texts. There are five from my dad and twenty-five from Morgan.

“Oh shit,” I say under my breath.

“Everything okay?” Charlie asks. “Oh, wow, it’s late. Like, really late. We gotta get you home before your dad flips.”

“Yeah,” I say, not moving.

I scroll through Morgan’s messages. Each is more panicked than the last. I flip from worried that my dad is going to never let me out of the house again to being annoyed. She’s not my mother; she’s my best friend. If I’m staying out late with Charlie, she’s supposed to be cheering me on, not telling me to go home.

Where are you?

You were supposed to be home by eleven.

Your dad is pretending to not freak out. But he totally is. I know because he texted me to see if I know where you are.

One o’clock now. Helllloooooooo, earth to Katie.

It’s two am. Do you know where your best friend is? I don’t.

Three in the morning. Still no word from you.

OK NOW I AM FREAKING OUT.

ARE YOU DEAD? PLEASE REPLY YES OR NO.

SUNRISE IS IN TWO HOURS… YOU ARE CUTTING IT WAY TOO CLOSE, KATIE.





GET


HOME


NOW


Morgan’s been staying out just as late these days with Garver, so I don’t know why she’s being so intense with me. I am fully aware that I need to get home soon. How stupid does she think I am?

“What’s up?” Charlie asks.

“Nothing, really,” I say, a thought occurring to me. “Morgan’s just not used to sharing me with anyone, I guess. I think it’s hard for her that I’m spending so much time with you. I’ll make sure I spend some quality time with her tomorrow so she doesn’t feel so neglected.”

“Girls,” Charlie says, rolling his eyes. “Although I guess they’re not all bad.”

“There are a couple decent ones.”

Charlie stands, brushes the sand off himself, and offers me a hand up. “I wish we could just, like, sleep out here. It’d be pretty cool to wake up with you in my arms instead of my ratty old teddy bear.”

I love the idea of waking up next to Charlie. I love the image of Charlie hugging his childhood stuffed animal almost as much. “Someday before you… go do whatever it is you decide to do in the fall, we’ll have to make that happen,” I tell him.

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