Messy Love(90)

Ralph stepped back when his best friend turned his head towards me. Nothing else existed but Wyatt and me. I only saw his eyes, eyes so dark and so alive with a world of emotions that never failed to overwhelm me and probably him too.

“What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t come back.’’

“I…’’ I trailed off and made to move away, unsure of what to say, how to feel and react, but Wyatt stopped me. His grip on my hand tightened until I couldn’t deny the link that united us, both invisible and visible.

“Marissa…’’

“We’ll talk later,’’ I said after swallowing thickly and blinking hard. “Right now, we need to hurry and devise a plan.’’

His eyebrows lowered and he nodded, but he didn’t have to say that this wasn’t over for me to know it.

“Let’s call your dad now. He’s been onto you for days now. That’s how we knew something was going on.’’ Ralph said, grabbing his phone.

“Does he know about…’’ Wyatt waved at the building on the opposite side of the street.

“The dealers and junkies? Yeah. I bet he suspects something about the drugs at your place, but I don’t think he knows your bio dad is in the middle of it.’’

“Shit,’’ Wyatt muttered and then swept a look at the street again, eyes narrowing on a man further down before he relaxed when he noticed that the guy was only walking a bulldog. “I didn’t want any of you into this mess.’’

“You can’t always push people away,’’ I said when Ralph took a couple of steps away from us and brought his cell to his ear.

“Protecting the people I care about was the only good thing I had ever done in my life, Marissa. Sometimes, protecting someone meant hurting them, but that kind of pain was a lot less important than what will happen now.’’

“Is that really what you think?’’ I asked in disbelief. “Damn it, Wyatt! Open your eyes! It only hurts because we care about you and we worry. When you care about someone, you don’t just keep them in your life when things are great. You hold onto them when things turn ugly too.’’

His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. His eyes turned shiny, and he dropped them to the ground. “I don’t know how to do that, Marissa.’’

“The Burtons and Ralph will be there.’’

“But not you.’’ His eyes found me again as Ralph’s voice droned out nearby. I should, we both should, be focusing on the issues at hand, but instead, we were stuck there, our mess blowing in our head and my heart tortured in my chest.

“You don’t want me in your life, Wyatt. I won’t fight anymore.’’

“Is that really what you think?’’ He leaned close to my face. “You know me better than that. Look in my fucking eyes, sweet thing. Look and tell me I don’t want you in my life.’’

“Stop.’’

“No. You said so yourself. I have to be an adult here. I tore my heart out of my chest when I let you go that Sunday morning. You’re in there.’’ He hit on his chest right where his heart beat.

“You’ve had women around.’’

“Yeah, and I touched none of them. Don’t you see? I’m a fucked up man with a fucked up heart who’s desperately in love with you, and I have nothing to offer you.’’

“I’ve never asked for anything but you and your heart, Wyatt.’’

“You’ve had my heart for months. See?’’ He opened his arms wide. “I’m wide open here. I have no secrets anymore. I’m so damn scared I’ve barely slept in weeks. That morning when I let you go, I found my old stuffed turtle at my door, and I knew only one person who could have put it there. I let my fear for myself and also for you rule me. That’s over. You’re asking me to fight and be who I want to be. That’s who I am. I’m fucked up. I’m broken in so many pieces I have no idea if I’ll ever be as well-balanced as you deserve, but I also love you so fucking much that missing you has been like dying a little more everything day in a painful death. I might face jail time, I have no job left, no money that isn’t dirty on my account and I have no idea where I’m going in life, but the only thing I’m sure is my feelings for you. You’ve fought for me. Now it’s my turn to fight for you. Let me fight for you, for us.’’

“He’s on his way,’’ Ralph said as he walked back. “Am I interrupting?’’ His eyes went back and forth between Wyatt and me.

“We’ll finish this later,’’ I said and rubbed my forehead.

“Marissa.’’

“It’s not the time or place. Please,’’ I said and begged him. I knew my eyes reflected the pain I went through since that Sunday because Wyatt nodded and looked away, but not before I read the apology in his dark orbs.

“It’s not heavy or anything,’’ Ralph mumbled and held up both hands when we murdered him with our glare. “I’m shuttin' up now.’’

***





WYATT


When Dad’s patrol car parked in front of us up the street, my jitters reached an all-time high. My heart that had been sitting heavy in my chest since seeing Marissa was now doing some weird squeeze.