Messy Love(68)

Dad’s hand on my shoulder brought me back to him, and my glare on the BBQ eased off. I glanced at him in silent question, but one look told me I wouldn’t like what he’d say next.

“Son, I thought you were fine with Marissa coming for lunch today.’’ There was no judgment in his voice, and that made it worse. Danny Burton had always been understanding, ready to do everything for me to feel good and give me the happiness that had lacked my childhood before I came to live with the Burtons. What sucked was that he jumped to that conclusion, but I knew I couldn’t be pissed off about it. I had been a total asshole when Marissa made her appearance in our lives. I had to prove that my disposition had changed… But without letting on how much my disposition toward her had indeed changed.

I sighed and let my eyes wander to Marissa. Her face, so open and laughing did something in my chest, something so fucking weird I couldn’t place a word on it, but I savored it. It was nothing like my usual darkness or the pain I couldn’t shake off.

Then, I stared back at my dad and shook my head. “I’m fine with it.’’

“Doesn’t look like it.’’ He patted my shoulder before he scratched his shaved cheek. “I’m sure it’s not easy for you, but your mother appreciates that you’re making an effort. It means a lot, Wyatt.’’

I pressed my lips together harder when a cringe threatened to slip out. I hated the lie hanging there between my family and me. I wasn’t one to lie like this, not to the people who had never failed me ever since they took me in when I was an angry kid.

“It’s nothing,’’ I mumbled and put all my attention on the BBQ. I carefully grabbed the empty plate next to the blazing heat and with the clamp, placed the grilled meat on it.

Before I turned back to the table, my dad stopped me with a strong hand on my shoulder. When my eyes met his soft chocolate ones, he smiled at me.

“Whenever you need to talk, I’m here. I won’t tell your mom. Don’t keep things bottled up like you always do.’’

“I won’t, but I’m really fine, Dad.’’

***





MARISSA


Since I had met Wyatt, I had known that even when he hurt me and I hated him, I couldn’t help the magnetic force that tethered me to him, always drawing us nearer and nearer. But now that we were in a good place, sharing something I had never had with anyone before, it was harder to fight that force. It was a necessity, of course, but it made me feel like my skin was too tight, like my flushing was telling, that my eyes roving over him every once in a while, were sending lustful messages for everyone to see.

In one word I was paranoid.

“I want you to tattoo me,’’ Ava announced at the table as she finished the last bite of her apple pie. Her big brown eyes on me were so serious and determined that my mouth stretched wider into a smile so big my cheeks ached. It’s been going like this all lunch even if the lie by omission Wyatt and I trapped ourselves in sat heavily on my shoulders. It was difficult not to fall for the Burtons.

“You’re a little too young for that, pumpkin,’’ Lydia said with a laugh as she gathered our empty plate. Her eyes went from her daughter to me, and once again her violet-blue eyes, so bright with happiness, tugged at my heart and warmed me all at once.

“No, I’m not!’’

“Legally, you need to be a lot older for a tattoo,’’ I supplied gently and rubbed her tiny shoulder as she started to glare at her parents. It was the cutest thing when her plump lower lip poked out, and her thin eyebrows slammed over her soft eyes.

“I don’t see why I should wait so long.’’

“Because you need to be sure about what you want, peanut,’’ Wyatt said in a gruff voice as he suppressed a smile. “A tattoo is for life.’’

“But I want one!’’ She crossed her tiny arms. Her eyes were now on her big brother. “You have many, and Marissa has some too. Why can’t I?’’

“You can,’’ Danny started and at his daughter’s hopeful look he went on. “But not before you’re eighteen.’’

“It’s not fair,’’ Ava blurted and looked away when Lydia stood up to get the plates inside.

I didn’t like to see her like this, and I felt guilty. She was only ten and hearing her newfound half-sister talking about tattoos and how amazing they are, it wasn’t surprising that she asked for one. I rubbed at the flock behind my ear and leaned closer to her.

“Tell you what, if you have a pen or something that's easily washable, I can draw on you whatever you want. It’ll give you some thinking to do until you can have a real tattoo because your brother’s right. A tattoo isn’t a joke. It’s something you keep with you forever, a piece of you that you advertise to the world, a part of your life and dreams.’’

She nodded and then risked a look at Danny who immediately nodded with a tender smile on his face that erased the marks of exhaustion he sported. Ava jumped to her feet and ran inside the house without another word.

“I hope it’s okay. I should have asked first.’’ I bit down on my lip, but at Danny’s laugh, I relaxed.

“She’s a stubborn kid. She’d still be arguing if you hadn’t offered this solution.’’