Make Me Hate You(53)

The sun was hot, warming my bedroom enough that once Tyler was gone, I flopped onto my back in the bed and kicked the covers down to my ankles. The cool air from the fan tickled my nipples, my sore clit, and I smiled like a loon, shaking my head and covering my face with my hands at how giddy I was.

And in the next instant, my stomach took a deep dive like the descent of a rollercoaster, and I scrubbed my hands over my face, letting them fall to my sides as I stared up at the ceiling.

Fuck.

I’d cheated on Jacob.

Tyler had cheated on Azra.

And just a couple of days before they were both supposed to fly in and be at this very house with us.

Guilt seared through me, even though I’d already made up my mind before I ran into Tyler last night that I was going to end things with Jacob, I still hadn’t actually done so. It killed me, knowing he had no idea what I’d done, what I was thinking, where my head had been all this time that I’d been back in New England.

He’d sent me flowers. He called and texted me every day. He reminded me how much he loved me, and missed me, and wanted me.

And I slept with another man.

I groaned, sitting up with a sudden headache that I pressed my palm into as if that would help. As soon as I finished my conversations with Tyler, I needed to call Jacob. I couldn’t go back and undo last night — not that I would have chosen to — and I couldn’t go back and call Jacob before what happened with Tyler. But I could explain everything to him, like he deserved. I could be honest, no matter how much it would hurt.

I owed him that.

My mind drifted to Azra next, to the gorgeous, brown-eyed girl who always lit up Tyler’s phone screen when she called. Morgan had been so excited for her to come in for the wedding, for me to meet her, for her future with Tyler.

And now…

I swallowed, that same guilt striking me again, and I wondered what last night meant. I wondered if I was jumping ahead of myself, assuming that it would change anything, that Tyler would have any sort of decision to make.

But the way he was talking this morning, the way he touched me last night…

My fingertips traced my skin, all the places he licked and sucked and bit and bruised, and in my heart, I knew it had changed him, too.

Minutes stretched on with my mind swirling like this as I waited for Tyler, and when fifteen had passed, I frowned, wondering what was taking so long.

Maybe he stopped to brush his teeth in his room, or to change.

But after twenty-five minutes and no sign of him, curiosity got the best of me. I threw on my pajama pants and a hoodie without a bra underneath, running my fingers through my tangled hair and pulling it to over one shoulder as I skipped down the stairs. It was just past seven in the morning, so I wasn’t even thinking about anyone else being up and around. In fact, my head was too busy playing out other fantasies, like Tyler deciding to cook us omelets once he got down here, or taking the time to brew us coffee.

So when my sock-covered feet hit the ground floor and I slid-turned into the kitchen, I nearly fell on my face at the sight of the island surrounded by the Wagner family.

With Azra in the middle of them all.

They were all mid-laugh, Azra pressing one hand to her chest with her eyes shut and laugh turned to the sky in the most angelic way. Oliver had his arm around Morgan, who was watching Azra like she was the Christmas gift Morgan had prayed for all year, and her parents stood next to them in a similar embrace, smiling at their son.

Tyler was the only one not laughing.

But his arm was around Azra’s waist — making them the third happy couple to complete the family.

His eyes locked on mine, and time stopped, my heart halting along with it before it kicked back to life so hard, I swore my ribcage would break from the force of it.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, staring at each other, everyone else smiling and laughing, but it felt like a lifetime.

It felt like years of regret, like decades of longing, like centuries of wrong decisions and missed opportunities and fucked-up timing.

It felt like everything we wanted being just out of reach, and both of us realizing at the same time that we were fools for ever thinking we could run fast enough to catch it.

“Oh! Jazzy!”

Morgan’s voice shook me from my spell, and I blinked just as she flew to me, wrapping me in a hug.

“Good morning, my amazing maid of honor,” she said, squeezing me before she pulled back. Then, she frowned, touching the left side of my neck. “What happened here.”

I was still looking at Tyler as my hands floated up to where Morgan had touched, and I swallowed. “Curling iron.”

Morgan tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at the spot before she shrugged and smiled again like she hadn’t been distracted at all. “Look who took a red-eye into Boston to surprise us this morning!”

Morgan turned to Azra then, who was watching me with a genuine, beautiful smile. Her entire face lit up at the sight of me, like she really had been so excited for the moment we’d get to meet, and in one sweeping motion, she was around the kitchen island and pulling me into a hug.

She was elegance and grace, tall and lean and tan with a face straight out of a high-fashion magazine. Her eyebrows were thick and perfectly shaped, her lashes long and dark, and even without a single speck of makeup on, she was effortlessly and naturally stunning — the kind of gorgeous that steals your breath and makes you stop and stare.