Maame(100)

He gestures to the notebook and pen I have pressed to my chest. Inside the cover, he writes down a number and hands it back to me. “Ball’s officially in your court. Just think about it. If it is too uncomfortable a thought, ‘no, thank you, Sam’ is a viable message to send me.” He smiles again and I judge him, wondering if he’s ever really heard those four words from a woman before.

“Okay.”

“And if you do decide to message me,” he says, “will you mind if I don’t pick OTP to work with?”

“Of course not, but I think you should pick us.”

“Why’s that?” He leans forward and whispers, “I thought they were stealing your ideas.”

Shit. “First of all, everything I told you was strictly confidential and cannot be used against us. Second of all, your editor would be Thea and you shouldn’t tar every editor with the same brush.”

“Fair point.”

“And third of all, I could give you the usual speech that every publisher in this auction has given you, about how hard they work, how much they love you and your art and their promise to do big things and make you the next XYZ, but I think you noticed we didn’t say too much of that. We tell you what we know we can do, which is impressive in and of itself, then when you sign our contract, we go away and figure out how we’re going to do better. That’s what we do here. We do more and we do better.” I lift my chin. “It’s also worth mentioning that I might be part of your editorial team and I’ve recently been told I have very good ideas. Fresh ideas.”

“Wow, I’ll keep that in mind,” he says, smiling. “Fresh ideas, you say? Well, it would be foolish to turn that down.”





Chapter Forty-one


How do I feel about Sam?

That’s a good question. What I know is that he’s handsome, tall, soft-spoken, and creative. He might also be funny and kind, but I’ve realized these things must prove themselves in time in order to be true. I know he and Jo have history, casual history, but history nonetheless.

Google: Should I date a flatmate’s casual ex?

The nuance of my request proves too much for Google to comprehend and instead throws up responses for: Can I date my friend’s ex? I briefly consider the fact that my first descriptor for Jo is not “friend” but the more ambiguous “flatmate.”

Grace: Absolutely not

Erin: Is he tall?

Olu: Depends how close you are. If she’s your best friend then no but if you just know her like if you saw her on the street you might not even wave, then it’s fine Megan: Were they official or was it some kind of 2 week thing Debs: How did they end things? If he cheated on her that means you don’t care about her feelings or how the relationship affected her. If it was amicable then I don’t see why not Maddie

Jo’s ex (casual sex, no relationship I think) asked me out to dinner. Should I go?



Shu

Who’s Jo?



Nia

Is he nice?



Maddie

Jo’s my flatmate

I think so



Nia

You could use some nice



Shu

The one we don’t like? Go for it.

You and her ain’t even close so why not?



Maddie

Well, if we look at Dante’s Inferno, the ninth circle of Hell is reserved for women who betray other women.



Shu

Who the fuck is Dante Inferno?



Nia

If you want to feel less guilty maybe you should talk to Jo See how she feels

But you know you don’t have to say yes when a guy asks you out Right?



Maddie

I know



Shu

I have to get back to work. I’ll check in later



Maddie

Sorry, Shu. I forget you don’t like group chats



Nia

You don’t have to date if you don’t want to. If it were me, after the couple of months you’ve had, I’d move to the woods



Maddie

It has been pretty full on, huh?



Nia

Talk to Jo

Update us



Shu

If she tries to swing at you lemme know



After work I find Jo in the garden sat in a chair with her head back, appealing to the lowering sun.

“Mind if I sit?”

With trepidation, she responds, “Sure.”

Her top is off-shoulder and thin blue veins trail her skin, whilst brown freckles fill in the gaps. I think about how I’ve only noticed how many freckles she has nearing the end of my time here.

“Firstly, I’m going to be moving out to live with my friend Nia.”

She looks at me. “Why aren’t you telling this to Cam, too?”

“She already knows.” Jo pushes her mouth down and shrugs subtly. “Secondly, Sam came into OTP. We’re hoping to publish his next set of illustrations. He asked me to have dinner with him and I’m going to say yes.”

Jo breathes through her nose, and rubs her left eye with the heel of her palm. “I knew it,” she says. “He kept looking at you.” She turns away to stare at the ground. Where Sam sat only yesterday. “Here, in the garden for my birthday. I thought you were genuinely oblivious, then you went to ‘stretch your legs’ and he followed.”