Loving Dallas(71)

“No,” she says softly. “I came here to see you before you left because I have to tell you something. Something that couldn’t wait three more months until you got back.”

“Okay. I’m all ears, darlin’.”

Say there isn’t really someone else. Say you ended that because you don’t love him like you love me. Say you’ll come with me on tour.

Her chest rises and falls with deep breaths. I reach out and take her hands.

“Robyn, whatever it is, it’s okay. Just tell me.”

Unless you’re getting married. Then don’t tell me. Just shove me out this plate glass wall instead.

She sucks in one more breath and presses her gaze into mine. “Did you mean it? The text?”

I nod. “I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you. I’m a f*cking idiot.” I run a hand over my head. “I told myself if I ever got another chance I’d fight for you, no matter what. The way I should have that summer. If I hadn’t walked away, if I’d—”

“I love you, too, Dallas Walker Lark,” she announces. “I love you and because I love you, your dreams are as important to me as my own. And that’s why I didn’t tell you about my mom. That’s why I ended things that summer—because I couldn’t stand the thought of being the reason you missed out on something you wanted, something you’d dreamed of and worked so hard for. But looking back, I could’ve handled it better. I should’ve told you the truth. I’m not a scared kid anymore and I’m not going to make that same mistake again.” She pauses to pull in more air and either I’m imagining it or she’s trembling before me. “I’m pregnant, Dallas. That’s the someone else. We’re having a baby and I was terrified to tell you because I didn’t want to mess up your life right in the middle of all of your dreams coming true.”

She lost me at pregnant.

I should say something. But I can’t find any words.

I’m just standing here, staring blankly. You know that feeling, when a limb falls asleep from lack of blood flow and the numbness is like a thousand pinpricks? That’s how my face feels right now. It’s like when I had writer’s block. Like staring at a blank page and knowing there should be lyrics on it but having lost all ability to combine letters to make words.

“So . . .” she says, biting her lower lip. “There’s that.”

I can barely hear her over the white noise in my head.

“I . . . you’re . . . we’re . . .”

Yep. That’s what I came up with.

“Pregnant,” she says slowly. “And I promised your sister I wouldn’t do this, but you look like you’re about to pass out, so I’m going to anyway.”

“My sister?” I choke out.

“Yeah. I told her first to see if she thought I should tell you now or wait.”

My face is numb. A thousand invisible needles are pricking the hell out of it. “Okay.”

“Maybe I should’ve waited,” she says softly. “But, Dallas, I don’t want to be the reason you punch out Jase Wade. Or the reason you miss out on this tour. This is huge. Your career is growing astronomically at a rate most people can only dream of. I am so proud of you. So believe me when I say, I didn’t come here to tell you this so that you’d stay behind or whatever. Go. Live your dream and show those people how we do music in Texas. I will be here when you get home and we can talk. But know that if you decide you don’t want this, me or the baby—both or either—that’s okay. I’m okay. I can do this on my own. You can be as involved or as uninvolved as you like. That’s what I invited you over to dinner to tell you. Then you told me about the tour and you were so excited and I didn’t want to piss on your parade, so to speak. But I won’t make the same mistake I made when I didn’t tell you about my mom.”

“So there isn’t someone else?”

There you are, words! Finally.

Robyn shakes her head slowly. “Well, technically there is, but he isn’t born yet.”

“He?” Christ, I hear my own voice crack.

“I don’t really know for sure,” she tells me. “But it feels like a he to me. I’ll find out in about six to eight weeks. I’ll text you. I can even send the ultrasound picture. If you want me to, that is.”

“Denver,” I say, finally putting the pieces together as my brain catches up. We weren’t careful. Several times.

“Yeah. Denver. And I take full responsibility because I missed two birth control pills that week. I didn’t even realize it until later. So this is on me. I am not upset. If anyone was going to knock me up, I’m glad it’s you. I am just so sorry that I have to put this on you when so many amazing things are happening in your life.”

“Don’t do that. I was there, too. Don’t be f*cking sorry.” The command comes out harsher than I mean for it to and Robyn flinches.

“Dallas,” Mandy calls out from behind me. “We need to get moving.”

“You should go,” Robyn tells me. “Don’t want to miss your flight.”

I drive my hands into my hair and leave them on top of my head. My head is shaking back and forth. Go? I can’t go. I can’t leave her. I won’t. What the f*cking f*ck is happening to my life right now?