Loving Dallas(51)

Performer Jase Wade is on top of the world right now. But Person Jase is lonely and full of regrets. Who knew?

“You want to talk about it?” I coax gently, leaning against him just to let him know he’s not alone.

Performer Jase would make a comment laced with innuendo at the contact. But this version of him just gives me a shrug and pitiful puppy-dog eyes.

“Not really. Nothing I can do about it, anyway.”

“You sure? Sometimes a fresh perspective helps with—”

“My wife got remarried today.” He lets out a soft breath and continues speaking more to himself than me. “My album goes platinum and I get to celebrate on the day my wife marries a f*cking accountant.”

If he had thrown me over the balcony, I don’t think I would’ve been more surprised than I am now.

“You’re married?” I don’t even bother keeping the incredulous apprehension out of my voice.

“Not anymore.”

“But . . .”

“But no one ever mentioned me having a wife? That’s because we separated several years ago and she filed for divorce when my career took off.”

“I’m sorry. What happened?” I shake my head. “Jesus. My mama would smack my mouth for prying. I’m so sorry.”

“I made choice, choices that hurt the two women I loved more than anything in this world.”

“Two?”

Jase turns his attention to his phone and when he holds it up I think it’s my cue to leave him the hell alone to wallow. A gorgeous auburn-haired little girl with startling green eyes and angelic curls smiles into the camera. She can’t be more than three or four and she’s holding up tiny hands covered in finger paint.

“That’s an old picture, but that’s my McKenna,” he says softly. “I call her Mac. She’ll turn thirteen soon.” There is reverence in his voice and it hits me hard in my chest.

My hand lifts to my mouth and inexplicable tears fill my eyes. “God. Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. She’s beautiful.”

He pulls up a more recent picture of a smirking twelve-year-old girl who looks a lot like him. A tear escapes my left eye, then one from my right follows and I feel like a complete jackass. First of all, it was my job to research Wade and all of his history so that I could make sure this tour was the right opportunity for Midnight Bay. Second, he’s Jase freaking Wade. How does no one know he has a wife, well, ex-wife, and a kid? Third, why the hell am I crying?

If Jase notices my emotional breakdown, he’s gentleman enough to pretend he doesn’t.

“I wanted joint custody, or scheduled visitation at least, but Aubrey fought me hard. I had the expensive lawyers but she had all the proof that she is Mac’s sole caretaker. There was no denying that the life I lead isn’t a great place for a kid. She won’t even let me pay for anything and that’s the whole reason I work so damn hard. So that Mac can have whatever her heart desires. Oh, hey, look at this one. Doesn’t she look like a superstar?”

He scrolls to another picture and I am barely in one piece at this point. McKenna is wearing a leotard and tights, standing in what I think is first position.

“She’s beautiful, Jase.”

“Right?” He shakes his head. “I just wanted . . . damn it.” Now his eyes are beginning to water.

“We are one hell of a pair of party animals.”

He puts his phone away and shakes his head. “Sorry.”

“Hey, listen. I won’t say anything. This is your personal business and no one else’s.”

“The only people that care about that part of my life are the vultures anyway.” Jase looks like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I wish I knew how to comfort him, but there isn’t a go-to response for situations like this one.

Turning around, he faces the party and leans back on the railing in a way that makes me dizzy. If I looked over the banister right now I’d likely puke all over the people below.

“You know, when this all started, moving to Nashville, cutting a demo, signing with a label, it was all for them. For my girls.”

“You have another daughter?”

He shakes his head. “I mean Mac and her mom.” He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Aubrey,” he says softly. “We were crazy in love. She stood by me through everything . . . and we had some hard f*cking times, you know? Bank repo’d my truck. Nearly lost our house. And then . . .”

I hold my breath in anticipation of having my heart further broken on his behalf. I don’t know when I became so vulnerable to everyone else’s pain but I’m an oversensitive mess lately.

“My career took off. It got bigger than me. Bigger than us. The things I had to do to really make it here—the demands and the schedule and building a brand and a fan base—it didn’t leave any room in my life for them. And I just let it happen. I told myself there would be time to fix it later. That once I was on top of my game and killing it on the charts, we’d figure it out.”

I’m quiet because I don’t know what to say and because I get it now. What he’s trying to tell me. I’m sacrificing everything for a “one day” that might never come.

“I’ll stop boring you with my bullshit. It’s a great party, Robyn. I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate all of your hard work.”