Love's Cruel Redemption (The Ghost Bird #12)(82)

“I know I should, but he’s never here.” She sighed and combed some of her bangs away from her forehead. “I’ve a confession to make, too. I meant to tell Kota, but...” She reached into her purse and pulled out a pink-encased phone. She held it up for him to see. “I found this in the car. I went to get something out of it and found it sticking out under the seat.”

Oh no. Volto didn’t take it. He wasn’t sure this was better or worse. No wonder he hadn’t tried to use it to manipulate one of the others.

She placed it on the table, face down. She pressed her fingertips to the back of it, sliding it around the wood surface. “I thought about looking at it. I didn’t, but I considered maybe I should.” She groaned and then pressed her palm to the phone, lowering her head. “I know her parents are going through a bad time, and it feels like she needs us to be supportive. But if Kota’s trying to make a clean break and she’s hanging around, maybe...”

Nathan held on to his breath, swallowing shortly. He hated seeing her struggle like this. After the craziness last night, she still picked them up, took them home, made sure they were safe and fed. His insides shook, regretting lying to her so much. She didn’t deserve it.

But he couldn’t tell her about the Academy and what they were doing.

And he didn’t feel it was right to tell her about the relationship dynamic they’d developed with Sang. Kota should tell her, if he wanted to.

If he hadn’t fucked it up after last night.

The lie formed on his tongue, and he hoped this was the best solution. “It might be my fault, and for it, I’m sorry. But I don’t think they’ve broken up. It may just be a rough patch. But Sang...yes. I think it’s okay if you still tried to be supportive of her right now. Kota wouldn’t want her to feel she had to walk to the grocery store so late.” He sighed and rolled his head back, looking at the ceiling. “If I hadn’t done...what I’d done...maybe she would have felt safe to ask me if I’d been home or...”

“I don’t know why she couldn’t have asked me,” Erica said. “Do you think maybe I embarrassed her? She’s not ashamed of what happened, do you think? Ever since then, I haven’t seen her much. I wonder if I made her feel uncomfortable, so she’s avoiding the place.” She put her palm to her mouth, covering it as she spoke. “You know, maybe that’s it. And it’s causing them stress when she doesn’t want to come over. And he can’t go over to see her...”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe it is. And why wasn’t he at home last night? He’s avoiding her by coming in until super early in the morning, the time to go to school, so he won’t have to talk to her?”

Her struggling with her son’s relationships and trying to put the pieces together seemed to make the whole situation much worse. It must be hard seeing Kota unhappy, and knowing Sang is in a rough patch, and not being able to do anything to help either of them. Blaming everything last night on the relationship got her away from thinking it could be the Academy or something else, so maybe he needed to encourage this line of thinking.

But he was already collaborating on admitting to this, and not revealing things she shouldn’t be looking in on. Instead of making her feel any worse, he did what he could that might help Kota and Sang, as well as her.

He reached out to Erica, taking her hand and holding it in his, looking at her face. He needed her to trust him this time. “I know Kota,” he said. “He wouldn’t give up on Sang. Sang...she’s complicated. With her parents... and at school...Kota’s the one that’s been there for her. Helped her. And...they’re perfect together. He’s not going to just let that go.”

“So where was he last night?” she asked.

Nathan swallowed and shrugged. “I’m not totally sure but...I think...it might have something to do with Sang. Maybe in his own way he was helping her with what she’s going through. Maybe he couldn’t tell you or her what he was up to.” He scooted his chair closer. “I just know that maybe I did mess things up a bit. This is on me, okay? It’s not you. And I’m sure if you give Kota some space, he’ll figure it out and tell you what he wants to tell you.”

Erica pressed her lips together and nodded shortly. “I thought to mention to him that first relationships...they don’t last. I wanted to say something to make him feel better. But I thought maybe it was too soon, or too negative Nancy of me to think in such a way.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Nathan said, although her comment settled into him hard.

First relationships don’t last.

It was generalized and perhaps true for most people. The others had off and on dates in the past, at least some of them, as far as he knew.

For Kota, was it his first? At least his first steady...

Nathan bit his own tongue before thinking too much further. It was hard enough expressing to Erica that Sang was Kota’s girlfriend.

Not himself.

Not after all those nights he’d spent with her. Close to her. After all those moments they shared, kissing and just being together. It ached in his heart to think she wouldn’t be around as often.

Erica tapped her fingernails on Sang’s phone case. “Maybe you can pass it to her. When you see her? Let her know I found it?”