Love's Cruel Redemption (The Ghost Bird #12)(121)

However, when we drove by, there was no sign of Kota’s car or him.

I’d brought the journal with me. Somehow, amid all of this, I’d started writing to Nathan. In a way, it was everything I wanted to tell him and I couldn’t say to him yet because he wasn’t there. It was the only thing I could even focus on to pass the time until he decided to come back.

I missed him.

My heart ached.

It was all rambling. A lot of it was just Nathan’s name written over and over.

When North called Victor, I was a tense rubber band waiting to snap.

Victor passed me the phone instantly. North spoke on the line. “He’s at Lily’s.”

I sat up, nudging Victor’s arm. “We have to go to Lily’s.” I spoke to North. “We have to go.”

“I know. I told them you were on the way. Do you want us to meet you there?”

“Maybe you should give me some time first. I have to talk to him.”

North grumbled. “I know. I got a call about my Jeep. It’s waiting. I’ll go pick it up. Your necklace better be in there...And once this is over, we’re going where I said we would.”

I hadn’t forgotten about the necklace, but I did realize the police probably had it. I didn’t want to bug him about it through all of this. And after everything else, we’d been too busy to head out to the beach like he wanted. “Well someone had to go jump into the back of a truck.”

“Next time, remind me of this,” he paused. “Tell Nathan we need him?”

“I promise.”

When I hung up, I was on the edge of my seat as Victor started the long drive out to Lily’s. Luke sat in the back, chewing on a thumbnail and staring out the side window. I was twisting my hands on my clothes, the seat, all without really thinking of what I was doing.

I hoped he stayed there.

I hoped he was okay.

After a few miles, Victor finally reached out to me, touching my shoulder. “He’s there. He’ll talk to you.”

“I hope so,” I said.

He breathed in and then out through his lips, returning his hand to the wheel to make a turn. “Me, too.”

It took some time to find the dark lane surrounded by trees and follow it to the end, until we came to the big white house. The porch light was on. The room to the right, the library, was lit as well. I was familiar enough with it from the last time I was here, but since I hadn’t been here at night, the house felt spooky to me.

Kota’s car was parked out front.

Seeing it, it confirmed he was here, and my heart raced.

Thank goodness.

Still, I was intimidated once we got out of the car. I walked up with Luke and Victor beside me. I carried the journal from the car. I wasn’t sure why. I thought perhaps if I mumbled or couldn’t think of what to say, I’d just show that to him. With all my noncoherent sentences, I could only hope he understood.

Luke held my hand tightly as we approached. “Just say you’re sorry.”

“What does she have to be sorry for?” Victor asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s how I get North to calm down when he’s mad at me. I just say I’m sorry, even if I’m not.”

I tried to smile. I knew he was trying to make me feel better. I squeezed his hand gently.

Victor leaned in close to me. He reached for the doorbell.

But before he rang it, the door opened.

Liam looked out at us. He wore a sweater and jeans, his red-blond hair combed neatly and he was barefoot. He urged us back so he could join us on the porch and closed the door behind himself.

“We were waiting for you,” he said. He looked at me. “He needs to talk to you.”

“I know.”

He held up a hand, palm facing me. “I just need to make sure...you know what really happened, right? About that girl harassing him? Using what info she had to get him to do what she wanted?”

I nodded repeatedly. “Yes, I know.”

“And you don’t hold it against him?”

“Never!” I said. “It just surprised me. And with who was there, I didn’t want the others seeing me so shocked.” I didn’t want to go into what really upset me right on the porch, about the doubts I had with going through with it. Not now. For Nathan, I needed to be confident.

“Why are you asking her all this?” Victor said, stepping in front of me a bit. “Look, I know you’re trying to help, but we need to talk about this with him.”

“She needs to do it,” Liam said. “But I wasn’t going to let you pass if you were just coming in to belittle and shame him. I’ve heard his side. I’m sure you all have reasons for what happened this week, but I can’t allow you to go in and destroy him any more than he’s destroying himself right now. His mental health is at stake.”

I stilled, hovering where I was on the porch, looking to Luke and Victor. Luke’s face was tense, but he nodded in agreement. Victor seemed to relax.

“Then if you aren’t here to ostracize him and kick him from the group, you can talk to him,” he said. “But you should do it.” He pointed to me.

I stepped forward, easing Victor to the side. “I’ll go.”

“He’s in the library,” he said. “First door on your right. To keep the noise down, I’ll stay out here with your friends.” He motioned to them. “Let’s get off the porch. It echoes.”