Love Songs & Other Lies(81)

But eating dinner with her parents and making awkward small talk with her aunt, who spent most of the meal ogling me—I am a rock star now, after all—had been nothing compared to the crush of panic I’m feeling as we walk down the floral-papered hallways of the nursing home. I’m not sure if it’s just in my head, but I swear I can smell the familiar scent of room 207—eucalyptus, baby powder, and lavender—before I even see the door. While Vee enters, announcing loudly, “It’s VA Day, Nonni!” I stand frozen in the doorway.

There are so many memories wrapped up in that room: the first day I showed up to visit Gram and told her about the fire, and she cried for the strangers that were my dead parents; the loneliness and emptiness I felt when I came to Riverton, feeling like I didn’t deserve anything else. And then there was Vee and the strange curiosity I had felt when I heard her that first day; the way she made me want to be a part of something again, the burning pain I feel every time I think about how much I hurt her and almost lost her in the end with my secrets. Will she think I’m a total stalker when she finds out how I actually met her?

Then I hear a raspy voice inside the room.

“Is he going to come in, or is he just going to stand over there?”

“Nonni, be nice,” Vee scolds.

“Hush. I’m teasing. Come over here.” She’s waving her hands in the air, ushering me over.

Hands in my pockets, I join Vee next to Nonni’s bed. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.” I hold out my hand and she swats it away.

“Pshh, you call me Nonni. And give me a hug.” She puts her arms out and I lean into them, hugging her awkwardly as she sits in her bed. As I stand up she grabs my arms in her hands, squeezing my biceps. “Nice arms on this one,” she says, winking at Vee.

Vee bursts into laughter and I can’t help but join her. “Stop harassing my boyfriend, Nonni.” Her smile falters and she gives me a sideways glance. Neither of us is used to saying it—we never used to. I slip my hand around hers and squeeze.

“Don’t listen to her,” I say. “You can harass me any time you want, Nonni.” I give Vee a smile that she returns.

Nonni distracted me and I’ve completely forgotten about the problem at hand, until Vee reaches behind her and pulls the curtain across the room in a flash of blue fabric. We’re engulfed in sunlight, and there in her bed is my Gram. She claps her hands together in excitement, but she isn’t looking at me, she’s looking at Vee. I stand in shock as Vee bends down and gives my grandmother a hug full of familiarity.

“Hey, Grace.” Vee is holding one of her hands as she speaks to her. “How are you feeling today?”

Gram pats Vee’s hand slowly. “Good, honey, I’m good.”

Vee turns, pressing her mouth to my ear. “See, I have secrets too.” She takes Gram’s hand and nods toward me. “Grace, I think you already know my boyfriend, Cam.” She smiles at me as I stand staring at the two of them, completely thrown by what is happening.

“He looks like my grandson.” Gram reaches for my hand and I step forward to hold it. Vee takes my other hand, keeping it by her side.

“He sure does.” Vee reaches up and rubs her hand over my hair like I’m a little boy. “I think he’s a little cuter, though.” She grabs my face roughly in one hand, squeezing my cheeks together. “Don’t you think?”

“That is your grandson,” Nonni offers in a firm voice. “See over there.” She nods toward the dresser. It’s lined with photo frames—the large one of my family is still there, but there are others, too. There’s a photo of me onstage, playing my guitar—taken at one of the small clubs we played in Houston; and a photo of Logan, Anders, Reese, and me, sitting on a couch backstage before a performance. And a heart-shaped frame with a photo of me and Vee sitting side by side, playing “This Girl” onstage the first time. Every photo has a little white sticker across it with everyone’s names printed out.

Gram just looks at the pictures and nods her head as Vee squeezes my hand.

“Thank you,” I whisper in her ear as I kiss her temple.

“How’s the apartment search going?” Nonni asks.

Vee and I sit down in the plastic chairs between the two beds. “It’s not, really,” she says. “I forgot how ridiculously expensive everything is. It’s too late to get anything on campus. And I’m still looking for a new job. Money from my online videos is just enough to pay my bills at the moment. Until I find something, swinging an apartment by myself isn’t an option.”

I take Vee’s hand in mine, lacing our fingers together on top of the armrest. “I wanted to talk to you about that, actually.”

She looks panicked. “We can’t move in together.” Her voice is quiet, like she doesn’t want our grandmothers to know she’s rejecting me.

“Vee, just—”

She’s giving me a shut-this-down-or-I’ll-shut-you-down look. “Cam.”

“It’s just an idea. I thought—”

Vee slides forward in her chair. “Let’s talk about it later?”

“I’d like to hear this idea,” Nonni says, and I officially love her.

“Nonni, we’re—”

I cut Vee off before she can finish. “Nonni, excuse us for a second while I calm down your neurotic granddaughter.” I turn Vee’s chair toward me and put my hands on her shoulders. “Stop panicking.” I smile, amused by how worked up she is, and she glares at me. Her face is etched with irritation. “I’m not asking you to move in with me.”