Love Songs & Other Lies(10)



At a pit stop in Fort Worth, I finally decide that I may never get her alone. I just have to go for it. One way or another, we need to push past this, so I can focus on what I came here for. I’m sitting two seats down from her, squeezed between Logan and a red tiled wall. We’re in a tiny truck stop diner grabbing dinner at ten o’clock. It turns out that music tours have very little regard for normal meal times. We’re all getting used to stocking up on food at rest stops and gas stations, cooking half-assed “meals” in the bus’s tiny kitchenette, and grabbing real food when the buses stop once a day. Thankfully bus drivers have to eat too.

Across from me, Anders is wedged between Reese and our bus mate Pax, the lead singer of Caustic Underground. A folded gas station map is laid out in front of them and Pax is using a thick red Sharpie to trace the path of the tour. Through the South, then up to Nashville, looping through New York before traversing the Midwest, and finally landing back on the West Coast. Twelve cities in twelve weeks.

“So Vee, what tour stop are you most excited about?” Light and easy small talk. Nothing sticky there.

Silence.

I feel Logan shift next to me as he nudges her.

“Oh. Probably Nashville.” Three words. “Pass me the salt, please.” Her voice is small. I’m pretty sure she was talking to Logan, but I’m not letting her off the hook that easily. I scoop up the glass globe before anyone has a chance to touch it, and hold it out to her. She makes zero effort to get it, waiting until Logan plucks it from my hand, passing it over to her. “Thanks,” she says casually, to no one in particular.

“You have to make it through Houston, New Orleans, and Atlanta to get to Nashville,” Pax says casually, dragging his finger along the red route on the map. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Reese says, flicking Pax in the head with his finger. “We’ll give you a shout-out from Nashville while your ass is back on your couch.”

Vee laughs, and it irritates me that she seems amused by Reese, of all people.

“So what are our cheesy tourist stops in Nashville?” I lean forward so I can see Vee around Logan.

She’s shuffling eggs around with her fork. “I didn’t really have anything in mind.”

Anders’s head pops up. “Bullshit. Like you don’t have an itemized list of where you want to go in each city.”

I laugh. Vee had The Plan mapped out since the day I met her. Where she would go to college (Michigan State), what she would do (become a publicist).

Vee scrunches her nose up as she shakes her head at Anders, like he’s an idiot. “I’m spontaneous now,” she says. And she’s looking at Anders but I think she’s talking to me. “You probably didn’t know that about me, did you?”

Logan stabs one of the sausages on Vee’s plate. “I heard the top bands get to go backstage at the Ryman.”

Vee’s eyes light up. “No way. I’ve always wanted…”

Logan throws his hand up and Anders high-fives him over the table. “Predictable,” Logan says, giving Vee an exaggerated grin as she pokes him in the shoulder.

Reese reaches across the table and grabs a piece of bacon from Vee’s plate. “Hey,” she says, slapping his hand. She pouts when the greasy meat lands on the speckled green tabletop. “Now neither of us gets it.”

Reese plucks the brown strip off the table, tips his head back, and lowers the drippy meat into his mouth.

“You disgust me.”

“I heard a rumor you two dated.” Reese’s eyes dart to me, before settling on Vee again. “Maybe you’d like my bacon better than his.” He melodramatically chews his bacon.

“Oh my”—Vee picks an orange wedge off her plate like she’s going to throw it at his head—“gross.”

“She liked my bacon just fine,” I say. She turns shocked eyes my way. Finally! And as the orange flies in my direction, she’s smiling. It only lasts a second, before she’s squinting her eyes at me again. It’s so quick I’m not sure I didn’t imagine it, but it’s something.

“You guys are weird,” Pax mutters.

Vee points her fork at him, “You’ll regret that comment when I’m the one prepping you for your big interviews,” she teases.

I keep forgetting that Vee actually came on tour to work. “When do you start working with the publicist?” I ask. “It’s Jenn, right?”

“Probably tomorrow, when production starts, right?” She’s looking to Logan like he’s got all the answers. Logan who secretly invited her onto the bus. My friend, Logan. At least I thought we were friends, before he turned my life upside down again.

“Is it weird that I haven’t gotten details yet?” Vee nudges him when he doesn’t say anything.

“Right,” Logan’s eyes are fixed on the pile of eggs he’s poking at, like he’s digging for buried treasure. “I’m sure they’ll give you all the details tomorrow.” He sounds nervous. I think deep down, we’re all feeling the pressure of what happens tomorrow.

By the end of dinner, everyone is talking about the cities they’re looking forward to. Anders wants to see whale sharks at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, and Logan wants to swim in the Atlantic Ocean for the first time in North Carolina. Pax is happy to be in any city where he can get out of the bus, away from his newly paired-up bandmates, Sid and Jaclyn. Reese is holding out for—no surprise—Sin City; the semifinals. Now all we have to do is actually stay in the game long enough to make it all happen.

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