Looking to Score(62)

More tears streamed down my cheeks. “Oakley, can’t you see? Somehow in this dynamic, I’ve become the problem. I’ve got to go. What you did was very sweet, but I might have already ruined both of our futures. I just need space.” I opened the door, took one last look at Oakley, and walked out. I just needed to be alone.





27





The condo my parents rented out for the weekend was in the heart of Southern California. When I called them this morning to say that I was fired and being sent home, Mom insisted that I just meet them there.

I showed up with red eyes and wrinkled clothes, clutching the handle of my suitcase. “Oh baby, it’s okay,” Mom said, flinging open the door and rushing to hug me. “Come in. I made pancakes.”

I could barely eat. My stomach was in knots, and it was embarrassing to tell my parents what had happened. I told them about Dale escaping, and my reunion with Chuck and Legacy. I expected disappointment or frustration from them. This was the second time I’d fucked up, but surprisingly, their reaction was the opposite. “Oakley defended you?” Dad asked.

“He punched Chuck. The dude was out cold when paramedics arrived.”

“Good,” Mom sneered. “What hospital is he at? I’m going to skin him alive. Did he hurt you when he grabbed you?”

“I already filed a police report,” I said. “I’m fine.”

“I knew I liked Oakley,” Dad grumbled. “Is he okay? Does he need anything?”

“He needs to stay far away from me,” I said in a low voice while stabbing my plate. My phone started buzzing, and texts from Oakley started coming in rapid fire succession. His ears must have been burning.

Oakley: Did you get a flight?

Oakley: What flight are you on?

Oakley: Call me when you get home.

Oakley: I just want to make sure you are safe.

Not that I was planning on answering, but if I was, he was barely giving me a chance to read his texts, let alone send a response. I looked at my phone for a minute and then did something that I never did. I turned it off. I didn’t put it on silent or do not disturb, I turned it completely off.

“I’m exhausted. I didn’t get any sleep last night,” I announced to my parents as I stood up from the table. “I think I’m going to try to take a nap before the game.”

“Ok, honeybunch,” my mom said. “I love you, and we’ll talk more when you’re up for it.” I loved that my mom got me. She just knew that I was going to want to talk about this later, but I wasn’t able to right now.

I made my way to the spare bedroom and crawled under the covers, not even bothering to take off my clothes. I snuggled way down, pulled the comforter over my head and cried. I cried for my pride. I cried for the girl of my past. My future. Oakley’s future. I choked on sobs as exhaustion took over. I was so wrapped up in my own sadness that I didn’t hear the bedroom door open. It wasn’t until the mattress dipped beside me and Mom snuggled under the covers that I realized I wasn’t alone.

“Baby, talk to me,” she said, wiping at my face. “You can’t keep beating yourself up for one mistake. At some point, you’ve got to forgive yourself.”

“I just am so embarrassed.”

“Have I ever told you my most embarrassing story?” Mom asked, nuzzling deeper into the mattress.

“The time your dress fell completely off in a public park?” I asked dryly.

“No.”

“The time your phone started going off during a parent teacher meeting and your ringtone was ‘My Neck, My Back’ by Khia?” I offered again.

“No. But that one is up there,” Mom replied with a laugh.

“The time you bought a stripper pole for your bedroom to spice things up with Dad, and you broke your arm and knocked yourself out while practicing alone, and the paramedics found you in your neon stripper gear?” I rushed out on a single breath. This was a more recent story.

“No—can you please stop guessing so I can spit some wisdom?”

I cracked a smile. “Sure.”

Mom let out a sigh before responding. “When I was in high school, I got dared to flash the hot soccer coach. He was Brazilian, baby. Brazilian men are just a different league of sexy,” she said dreamily.

I blanched. “Did you do it?”

“Yes. But I didn’t realize we had an audience. Half the soccer team saw me, and I got expelled. It completely derailed my graduation plans. I ended up taking an extra semester. It was so incredibly stupid, and not only did I get in trouble, he was fired. It was a different time. People thought he was encouraging the attention of his students. I ruined his career.”

Wow. That was awful. I couldn’t imagine doing that. “What did you do?” I asked.

“I did what I had to. I moved on. I felt guilty. But at the end of the day, we all make mistakes. And I have it on good authority that he’s now a successful coach for the International Soccer League. Sometimes, things have a way of working out. We can’t give our mistakes all our energy forever. I’ll always regret what happened, but I’m not the same stupid seventeen-year-old I was. And you aren’t the same girl anymore, either.”

Knowing that my mom had done something shockingly similar actually did make me feel better. My mom was one badass human being, and if I turned out to be anything like her, I would be proud. “Thanks for sharing that, Mom. I love you.”