Look For Me (Detective D.D. Warren #9)(49)

“But the kids . . .” D.D. pushed.

“When I returned, heard what had happened, learned how Juanita was doing, it gave me incentive to enter the program, become sober. My sponsor, he arranged for me to meet with Juanita. We talked for the first time in a long time. We both made amends. And I got to start seeing Manny again. In the beginning, he was very quiet. Almost shy. I understood. He’d watched his father turn into a monster. Then worse, the monster left him. I apologized to Manny. I tried to explain the disease. I told him I was better now. I promised to never leave him again.

“He said he understood. He said his mother had been sick, too. So sick, they’d all had to go away. He said he hoped we were never sick again.”

D.D. and Phil nodded.

“Manny . . . he was young when much of this happened. I’m not sure how much he remembers. And he had his sisters. Roxanna and Lola, at least when they were still together, did everything to take care of him. He got over it. I don’t know what else to say. My beautiful boy forgave me. Just like that, we were okay again. He loved coming to see me. I’d arrive at the house and his face would light up. We played soccer. We walked in the park. We . . . were family again.

“The girls . . . Roxanna watches me. She remembers. Maybe she forgives, but she does not forget. For the first few months, she stared at me so hard I could feel the hole burning in my chest. But I kept my word. Like Juanita, I have not had a drink in years. I became the father I should’ve been. Roxanna has been nicer to me lately. She even talks to me on occasion. As long as Manny is happy, she forgives me.

“Lola . . . she has been the most different. Wildly happy one moment. And . . . touchy. Wanting to pat my arm, give me big hugs. But I don’t know. The hugs don’t feel right. From the very beginning . . . something seemed off with her. Too happy. Too touchy. Like she was trying too hard. But then she would also fly into these rages. Homework, chores, bedtime, everything is now a war. Manny tells me she yells at Roxanna as much as Juanita. ‘You’re not my real mom,’ things like that.

“Juanita was getting more and more frustrated. Not that she told me much. But after the incident with the teacher . . . She said she had concerns. She thought something might’ve happened when the girls were in foster care. She’d even hired some lawyer to look into it.”

“What did you think?” D.D. asked.

“I thought that made sense. Charlie might not like me, but I never saw anything to make me think he’s a bad guy. He seemed nice to the kids. But mostly . . . Roxanna respected him. She’s a tough judge. Also, she and Lola share a room. So if he was doing something to Lola, Roxanna would know, yes? I don’t think she’d keep quiet. I think she would speak up. Or go after him herself. But, then, what had happened to Lola? Because the more Juanita asked me about it . . . All the kids were different after that year. Everyone, all of us . . . We had to become a family again. Except Lola never seemed to heal. If anything, she’s gotten worse.”

“Did Juanita ever talk about Lola’s friends? Maybe a group of girls Lola was hanging with?”

“Juanita didn’t like Lola’s friends. Said she was in with a wild crowd. But Juanita had been doing some reading. The day she spoke to me . . . she said she thought Lola had been . . . abused . . . while in foster care. She thought Lola was acting out. These friends, her bad choices? They were Lola’s way of punishing herself.”

“What did Roxanna say?” Phil spoke up, frowning. “The girls were placed together.”

“According to Juanita, Roxanna wouldn’t talk about foster care. Just looked very troubled. But, um . . .” Hector paused. He took a deep breath. Winced briefly from the pain.

“I saw the kids. All of them. I never told Juanita. But, um . . . I got a call from a friend when I was in Florida. He told me that the kids had been taken away, Juanita ordered into rehab. I was furious. Panicked. Manny. Where had they taken my boy?

“So I drove all the way back. It had been two months, maybe, since I’d left? You hear such bad things about what happens to kids taken by the state.

“Then I found them at the courthouse. Some kind of hearing. I watched from the outside. The kids were all together, sitting with some woman I’d never met. Juanita sat on the other side. She looked different. Her hair was pretty. Her face all shiny. She looked better than she had in months. Sober, I realized. She was sober.

“And I . . .” Hector’s voice grew rough. “I was not. Even before walking into the courthouse, I was so scared, I downed three shots of tequila. Had to steady my nerves. I was embarrassed then. I’d driven all the way there to save my boy, and I was still a drunk.”

Hector looked down at the white hospital sheets. “The hearing ended. I retreated to the end of the hall, hoping no one would notice me. Manny looked okay. He was talking to his sisters, tugging on Lola’s hand. She was smiling at him.

“Roxanna . . . she was moving funny. Stiffly. I don’t know if anyone else noticed. But it looked to me like she was in pain. Like maybe someone had beat her.”

“What did you do?” Phil asked.

Hector glanced up at both of them. “Nothing. I was drunk. And looking at Juanita, all cleaned up, watching the kids, clinging to each other, I was ashamed. I’d done this to them. Juanita was right. It was all my fault. I was a failure. I left them and went to a bar. Because that’s what failures do.”