Look Alive Twenty-Five (Stephanie Plum #25)(74)

“They would get people to work in the deli, and then they’d capture them and butcher them and serve them to cannibals. Genius, right? And then for future shows they could put the extra captured humans up for auction, like they do in stockyards. And there could be these cannibal deli places all over the world. So, what do you think?”

“Wow,” Morelli said.

“I even wrote a script for the musical,” Waggle said.

The color went out of Waggle’s cheeks, and his eyes lost focus. “I don’t feel good,” he said. “I need my meds.”

“We’re working on it,” Morelli said. “Why did you actually kidnap people if this was just for a television show?”

“We couldn’t sell the show, so we thought we’d do a reality thing and get some publicity. And it worked. Skoogie finally sold it.”

“What about the people you kidnapped? Where are they?”

“I don’t know. I just came in when they needed me to be in a scene. They took them to the stockyard or the slaughterhouse or something.”

Waggle started to shiver, and someone came in and wrapped a blanket around him.

“Who’s ‘they’?” Morelli asked.

“Skoogie, and a couple guys from some South American place, and the sunshine-truck guy.”

“Does the sunshine-truck guy have a name?” Morelli asked. “I don’t know his name, but he’s cool,” Waggle said. He looked around. “Is Jillian here? Jillian was supposed to pick me up.”

“Jillian isn’t here,” Morelli said. “You’re in police custody.” Waggle got crazy eyed. “The bitch said she’d be here.” Morelli stopped the video. “There isn’t anything worth watching after this.”

“This is too weird,” I said. “Five men were kidnapped because someone wanted to sell a television show?”

“Six men,” Morelli said. “One was returned.”

“There’s something missing,” Ranger said. “Skoogie was a major player, but there have to be others. It seems reasonable that Ernie Sitz is involved. Or at least, was involved. Nobody can find him. Who else?”

“The sunshine-truck guy,” I said.

Morelli looked over at me. “Did you get anything out of this? You were working at the deli.”

“Sorry,” I said. “Nothing jumped out at me.”

“One last thing,” Morelli said. “We retrieved Waggle’s backpack from event security. It was mostly dirty laundry, but there was a clipping in it that you’ll want to see. I have a photo of it on my phone. The original is in the evidence room. You can also pull it up online.”

It was a short piece in Variety, dated the day before Skoogie died.

In an unprecedented move, Leonard Skoogie brokered a major network deal for The Cannibal Deli, an hour dramedy that was based on an experimental reality-based video. It’s rumored that Chris Hemsworth has been signed to play the series lead.



“Holy crap,” I said. “Chris Hemsworth is amazing.”

“He’s also not Victor Waggle,” Morelli said. “Waggle thought Skoogie was in L.A. pitching him.”

“Yes, but Chris Hemsworth is THOR!”

“Put him in a Giants jersey, and I’ll pay attention,” Morelli said.

I left with Ranger. “Now what?” I asked.

“You tell me.”

“I have to pick up my laundry, and I should check in with Connie.”

Ranger drove to my parents’ house and waited in the car while I ran inside. I grabbed my laundry basket, said goodbye to Grandma, and shoved the basket into the back of the Cayenne.

“Next stop is the office,” I said.

Ranger drove out of the Burg and turned onto Hamilton. The office was a block away, and we could see that Darren’s wreck of a burrito truck was parked at the curb. Connie and Lula were on the sidewalk by the truck. Ranger pulled up behind it, and we got out.

“Look at what we got here,” Lula said. “Here’s how you make lemonade out of lemons. Darren struck up a deal with Stretch and Raymond, and they’re taking Breakfast Burritos on the road.”

Stretch was behind the wheel, and Raymond looked out at me through the open window.

“We deliver,” Raymond said. “That is our motto. We are in the true American spirit of chasing the dream. We are becoming big-deal entrepreneurs.”

“I’m surprised the truck is still running after getting tipped over,” I said.

“I guess you just can’t keep a good truck down,” Lula said.

“We must be off now,” Raymond said. “This is prime burrito time. We are going to try our luck at the button factory.”

We waved adios to the burrito truck.

“Did you get a burrito?” I asked Lula.

“Yeah,” Lula said. “It was a pretty damn good burrito.”

“Anything new come in for me?” I asked Connie.

“Nope. Slow morning,” Connie said.

Ranger and I returned to his car, and I asked him to ride past the deli. I was thinking about Hal. I had an unrealistic but hopeful fantasy that we’d drive down the alley behind the deli, and Hal would be standing there looking confused.

Ranger cruised past the front of the deli and went around to the alley. He stopped and idled for a moment by the dumpster and the parking lot. I looked at the lot and the deli’s charred back door, and I had an epiphany.