Living Out Loud (Austen, #3)(88)

Meg jumped into his arms, and he made his way around the room, saying hellos. But he saved his most brilliant smile for me.

As he sat on the edge of my bed, I took the flowers, bringing them to my nose. The bouquet was made of cream roses touched with the gentlest shade of pink and miniature lilies, dotted with sprigs of lavender, and the smell was incredible. Meg hadn’t stopped talking, and Greg kept her going with attentiveness, though his hand found mine, his thumb shifting against my skin all the while.

“Well,” Mama said the second Meg finally took a breath, “I am starving. Elle, Meg, you must be hungry too. Annie had her lunch an hour ago.”

Meg frowned. “I’m not hungry.”

“Yes, you are. Come push my chair.”

She groaned but did as she’d been asked. And without much more than a clandestine wink from Elle, they left Greg and me alone for the very first time since I’d been admitted.

“Oh, thank God,” I breathed, reaching for him.

He laughed and cupped my cheek. He kissed me with tenderness and longing, too gentle, as if I were fragile, as if he might break me. I wanted to wind my arms around his neck, but with the tubes and my cracked breastbone, I had to settle for my hands on his chest, slipped in the warm space between his shirt and jacket.

I was breathless too soon; with my deepest disappointment, he noticed and broke away.

“Well, hello,” he said, smiling. “God, you look good.”

I chuckled. “It’s my new hospital gown, isn’t it?” I took a breath. “This color of green complements my eyes, I thought.”

“That must be it.” He smirked. “How much better are you feeling?”

“About a million times. I even ate pudding today and didn’t immediately want to ralph. Next stop, Ironman.”

“You look brand-new. Must be the pudding.”

I snorted a laugh. “Brand-new. That’s funny, Greg.”

He took my hand, toying with my fingers, a smile on his glorious lips. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”

“Don’t be sorry. How was work?”

“Fine. I was anxious to get out of there, and they knew it. But they wanted me to bring you this.”

He reached for his backpack and rummaged around, coming back with a card printed on cream paper.

Watercolor flowers framed the words, Obstinate, headstrong girl. —Jane Austen. Inside, it said, We would wish you to get well, but a girl like you needs no wishes, for she eats wishes for breakfast and dreams for lunch. Come back to us soon. And everyone in the bookstore had signed it.

Grateful tears nipped at the corners of my eyes. When I looked up at Greg, he was smiling at me.

He reached for my face, thumbing my cheek. “Your skin is pink, your eyes brighter…you really do look so good.”

“Upsides to a working heart,” I joked.

But he didn’t laugh.

“I mean it. I can’t imagine how hard this has really been for you, but watching it has been the most terrifying, life-altering event I’ve ever experienced. But you’re going to be able to live now, Annie, in a way you never could before. You can run. Ride roller coasters. Go skydiving.”

I laughed. “Maybe let’s start a little smaller. Like getting me home.”

“Soon. Soon, you’ll be well, and all of this will be a distant memory.”

“I’m ready. I need to get home so I can practice.” I watched his face for a reaction, smiling.

First was confusion. “Practice? Practice wha—” His eyes shot open. “Juilliard?” he breathed. “You got the audition?”

I nodded, my smile breaking into a grin as he whooped, leaning into me to kiss me again, his hands on my face, fingers in my hair.

He tried to pull me into him, but I was attached to too many damned machines. He settled for an arm under my shoulders and my head in the crook of his neck, forcing him to bend at the most awkward angle, but he didn’t seem to mind, and neither did I.

“You did it. I knew you would.” He kissed my temple and pulled away, reaching for my hand. He played with my fingers as he spoke, “I’ve never felt so helpless as I have the last few days. Seeing you in this bed, finding you in the park…” He took a breath. “I’m just so happy to see you like you are today. For a minute, I wondered if you’d ever come around again.”

“So did I.” I watched him watching my hands, asking the question I would have asked a hundred times if there hadn’t been a forever multiplying number of people around. “What happened that day?”

“I…” His lips came together, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “When Elle texted me, I took off from Wasted Words and rode into the park. It was your jacket; that was how I found you. I saw this streak of sunshine in the grass, and I just ran. I…I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was when I rolled you into my lap and saw your face, waxy and gray. You were barely breathing, but your heart was going crazy.”

“I remember but just a flash—your arm around me, the look on your face…” I paused, collecting myself as emotion rose through me, starting in my stomach, ending at the corners of my eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that look.”

“I thought you were gone. I thought I’d lost you.” His voice broke, his eyes cast down to our hands.