Little Lies(78)

I could tell Mav, and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to make much of a fuss either way, but Kodiak has been his best friend our entire lives, so it’s a conversation they need to have without me to mediate. Also, like I told him last night, Kodiak needs to nut the fuck up about this.

Besides, I’m going to deal with River, and that on its own is enough.

I don’t see my brothers or Kodiak for the rest of the day, but I do meet the twins and BJ at the café for a dairy-free latte and one of their edamame salad things. I figure I can’t exist solely on Lucky Charms and muffins, although I would like to try.

Lovey and Lacey jump up and hug me when I arrive. “How are you? How is everything?” they ask, nearly in unison. “You know you can always come stay with us, if you want to.”

“I’m fine. Everything is okay. I appreciate the offer, but I can’t live without my sewing machine.” This is the truth. I was going through withdrawal by the end of the first twelve hours. The fact that my roommate was getting plowed outside my door added to my level of desperation.

I fill them in on the whole situation, since I haven’t seen them since the guys came to get all my stuff. BJ doesn’t add much, other than to say Bethany is a loon and any of the guys on the team who slept with her are idiots.

Lacey and Lovey have to go to class, which leaves me and BJ. He arches a brow. “So . . .”

I shove a forkful of salad in my mouth and wish it were a blueberry muffin instead. I put a hand in front of my face and mumble, “So what?”

“What happened with Kody last night?”

“What do you mean what happened?” My voice is hella pitchy.

“Well, he went upstairs about ten minutes after you and your friend went to study and never came back down. So what happened?”

“Kodiak and I had a discussion.” This is not untrue.

“What happened to your friend?”

“He went home.”

BJ frowns and strokes his beard. “Huh.”

“Huh, what?”

“Nothing. I must’ve been in the bathroom or something when he left.” He makes a dismissive gesture and crosses one leg over the other. “Anyway, tell me about this discussion.”

“Kodiak was a douche, I called him out, we exchanged a bunch of words, and now we’re figuring things out.”

“What does that mean? Figuring things out how?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s really not, though. It’s always been simple, and you two just make it complicated.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laces his hands behind his head. “He’s been in love with you since you were kids. He just didn’t know how to love you without taking over your entire world, or letting you take over his. He needed you to be strong enough to put him in his place, and you are, which means things are finally going to be as they should.”

I stare at him for a few long seconds, waiting to see if he’s going to continue or not. “Have you been reading the Tao of Pooh again or something?”

“Or something. It’s been infuriating, fascinating, and damn well annoying watching you two screw up this year. I mean, mostly it’s been Kody fucking shit up and you sitting back and letting it happen, but man, it’s nice to see you wearing your lady balls with pride.”

I laugh and shake my head. “He’s not yet forgiven for all the crap he’s pulled.”

BJ inclines his head, half acknowledgment, half consideration. “Kody is the best at punishing himself, Lavender. You don’t have to forgive him quickly, but don’t throw all his mistakes back in his face when he makes new ones. He’ll carry that guilt for the rest of his life if you let him.”

I nod. Kodiak wears his mistakes like scars that scratch up his insides. “I know better than to do that to him.”

BJ smiles, and there’s something wistful in it. “It must be kind of messed up to have found your soul mate before you even understood what it meant.” He ruffles my hair and pushes out of his chair. “I gotta head to class.”

I check the time. It’s still early but I can head to the theater, so I gather my things and leave with BJ.

After I finish up at the theater, I check my phone. I have a message from Kodiak telling me he’s been thinking about me all day. He doesn’t elaborate, but I’m 1000 percent sure I know what he means.

I also have a message from River saying he’s out for the night, but to text or call if I need anything. He’s been doing that a lot lately—the not coming home part. So has Maverick, but that’s not entirely unusual. Regardless, it means I won’t have a chance to talk to him about Kodiak, since it isn’t something I’m interested in doing over the phone.

I do, however, fill my mom in on the fact that I’ve moved back into the house with my brothers and tell her not to worry about Kodiak because I can totally hold my own. Thankfully she had yet to mention the dorms to my dad, so that was one freak-out neither of us had to deal with. I also drop a mention of the summer internship opportunity, but blow it off as unlikely since I’m only a sophomore and they pretty much always take juniors or seniors. But, I tell her, it doesn’t hurt to submit an application so I’m familiar with the process. She agrees.

Before I can change my mind, I stop by my professor’s office and let her know I’d like to apply so she can send me the forms.