Limitless Love (Lotus House #4)(52)
“Jesus, Monet.”
“It gets worse, I’m afraid.”
He closed his eyes, took a fortifying breath, and released it. “Lay it on me, beautiful. This is your life, your past, and I need to know it. All of it.”
He did have a right to know, but that didn’t change how hard it was for me to talk about it. Sweat tickled at my nape as I swallowed down the sour taste in my mouth. “Mom couldn’t take the blatant betrayal. She believed it was her fault somehow. Through my early teenage years, she was severely depressed, so much so that she took a lot of medication for it. One day she took too much.”
His hand flew to mine, and he clasped our fingers. “She took her own life?” He gasped.
I nodded, allowing the hurt to swirl around me but not pierce the armor I’d built around myself. “Technically an overdose. The doctors didn’t say it was intentional because it’s not like she purposely swallowed a bottle of pills. She just took some, probably forgot, took some more, and then followed it with a half gallon of vodka.”
“Monet…”
I shook my head and pressed a hand out to show my appreciation for his concern but also made known my desire to not be touched right now. “I’ve had a lot of time to deal with it. I’m okay.”
And I was. Okay. My mother had been weakened by the love of her life. I understood that better than most. I just didn’t want to follow in her footsteps by letting that same decision control my life.
“And your grandparents?” he asked.
“My mother’s parents raised me in my late teens and took in Matisse, even though they never treated her like part of the family. Mostly because she wasn’t blood. They didn’t blame her and never treated her poorly, but we both knew they did it for me out of obligation. Regardless of what my father did, she was my sister. They gave her every opportunity they gave me, even willingly paid for her schooling.”
I ran my finger around the rim of my water glass, watching the condensation from the ice drip down the glass in mesmerizing rivulets. “Matisse got a liberal arts degree and promptly disappeared from my life for the better part of a decade. Only popping up now and then—for my wedding, again when I had Lily. Brief encounters where she’d stay with us for a few days and then be gone at sunup, not to be heard from again for another year or so.”
“Except she came back when your grandparents died.”
I snorted unbecomingly. “Yep. Out of the blue, she walks into the attorney’s office holding my ex-husband’s hand, attempting to contest the will.”
“I can’t imagine what that kind of betrayal feels like.” Clayton’s arms were lined with muscles, the veins standing out as if he was holding back his own strength. His hands were fisted where they rested on the table.
I let out a fast breath, the image searing through my mind. “It feels like blinding white-hot fire courses from the tips of your toes and out the ends of your hair. Nothing hurt more than that moment. Not even when Kyle left me originally. At least then I believed it was because we just weren’t happy with one another, not that he had a piece on the side. Turns out he’d been seeing my sister all along.”
“Fuck,” he grated through clenched teeth. “I’d love to have five minutes in a room alone with your ex. Just five freakin’ minutes is all I’d need. Hell, I’d stand for two.”
That had me chuckling. An overall sensation of relief settled over the moment. Right then and there I realized for the first time in a long time I wasn’t alone. I reached for Clayton’s fisted hand and peeled his fingers open.
“It’s okay. Everything happens for a reason, right? My marriage failed, and Kyle wants me dead, but at least I have Lily and now you.” No truer words had ever left my mouth. The concept seeped deep into my subconscious.
Clayton’s eyes twinkled with mirth before he tipped his head back and started laughing. Hard. “Only you, beautiful, would find a silver lining to this shit. Come here.” He curled his hand around my neck and eased me forward so our lips could meet. He kissed me slow but with meaning.
“You’re not alone in this. Not anymore.” The words were whispered against my neck before he pulled back.
“See… You’re my silver lining.” I gave him my happiest smile.
He shook his head and grinned. “Fuckin’ stunning woman. And all mine. You done? Ready for some sweetness?”
I wanted to tell him he was all the sweet I could ever need, but I figured that was going overboard on the cheesy romance. Instead, I eased up and grabbed his hand while connecting with his side, our half-eaten lunch forgotten.
“Lead the way.”
* * *
As usual, Sunflower Bakery was absolutely hopping with people when we entered.
“Sweet Mother Nature and all things living. Moe!” I heard the sweet voice of none other than Crystal Nightingale, one of the owners of Lotus House.
I smiled and headed for her table back in the corner. She was sitting with Jewel Marigold, the other owner. The two of them were the same in morals, values, and spiritual thought processes but couldn’t be more different physically. Crystal looked like an angel, with golden-blond hair, sky-blue eyes, and knockout curves. For a sixty-year-old woman, she had it going on. Jewel was a slip of a woman and reminded me of a fairy. Curly fire-red hair, a pair of tortoiseshell glasses perched on her button nose, and a welcoming smile.