Life's Too Short (The Friend Zone #3)(86)

I was no different from Richard. Only I left my family without going anywhere.

I didn’t think things could possibly get worse than they already were.

I’d been wrong.

This was my rock bottom. This.

I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. It felt like my family had disintegrated. Like I’d failed them and my wife had left me and taken our kid. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was afraid to leave. I kept everything quiet so I’d hear her next door if she came home, but she didn’t.

I’d given away the time we had left.

She was right. I should have cherished every second with her.

I wanted to go back in time and talk to her on the car ride back to Minnesota from Nebraska. I wanted to take her to the candy store she asked to see and have lunch with her that day she came to my office and kiss her as the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve. Instead I’d spent those last days just staring at the sun.

And now I was living the worst possible thing twice.

I hoped she just needed some space. Maybe she just needed to calm down. Then she’d come back, give me the chance to apologize. I was clinging to that hope.

It was almost 2:00. I was in the living room with my head in my hands when my cell phone rang. I jumped for it, but it was only Becky.

I dragged a hand down my mouth and slid the phone to my ear. “Hey—”

“Adrian, what have you done?”

Her voice was shaking.

I sat up. “What are you talking about?”

“Vanessa just uploaded a video.”

I hung up on her and bolted to my laptop to bring up her channel.

The video opened with Vanessa sitting in a Delta lounge. Her eyes were red and puffy. It was entitled “Goodbye Forever.”

My stomach dropped.

“Hey, everyone.” She did her wave at the camera. But she didn’t have the usual light around her eyes. She was in a hoodie and her hair was in a messy braid. She looked the way I felt. Heartbroken.

“I wish I were here to give you better news, but like you see from the title of this, this is going to be my last video. I haven’t been honest with all of you, and I want to be honest now because I think you deserve that.” She paused. “For the last few months, I’ve been having what I’m afraid might be the early-onset symptoms of ALS.

“I’ve been giving my life a lot of thought and knowing that I might only have a little time left, I’ve decided how I want to spend it. And that’s in privacy.

“I’ll still be out there in the world. And I’ll make videos of my final time here, if that’s what I’m staring down at. But they won’t be released until after my death. Why?” She shrugged. “Because they’ll be worth more when I’m gone, and I’d like to give my charity one final push after I go. My last middle finger to this disease—while I can still lift one.” She gave the camera a weak smile.

“You guys have been the wind beneath my wings. Truly. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. We’ve raised millions for ALS research and done more for awareness than I could have ever hoped for. You gave me a legacy I can be proud of and one day all of this will save lives. Thank you for that. For giving me a platform and for making a difference.” Then she took a deep breath, and her face went sadder than it already was. “Jesus’s Abs—Adrian.” She looked right at me. “I never told you thank you. I never told you a lot of things. You gave me so much over the last month. You were a friend and a support. You made me feel safe and still. You gave me the chance to have a family of my own for a little while, and though I know I wasn’t, I felt like I got to be a wife.” Her chin quivered, and my heart shattered. “You are the love of my life—and not because my life is probably going to end a lot sooner than I hoped. I want you to know that I don’t blame you for not being able to do this. I hope you find someone who can give you the lifetime of memories that I can’t, because you deserve it.” She pressed her lips together like she was trying not to cry. “Don’t ever forget the things I taught you. Life’s too short, Adrian. It is too fucking short. Eat the cake, take the vacation, dance in the rain. And don’t do anything that’s going to break your heart. I’m just sorry that in this case, that thing was me.”

She looked at me through the screen for another moment.

Then the video ended.

It hadn’t even been over a full second when something banged on the adjoining wall to our apartments. I jumped to my feet and ran to the door, gasping for air, thinking maybe she had come back for her clothes or Grace’s things. Maybe it wasn’t too late.

But when I opened the door, a couch drifted out of Vanessa’s apartment down the hallway, carried by two men in blue mover’s shirts.

Gerald’s voice came from inside. “Be careful with those, they’re collector’s items! And I’m watching you, so don’t think you’re going to slip something into a pocket!”

He saw me come into the doorway and stopped his delegating. “Ah, the lawyer!” He smiled at me.

I looked around the small studio, my heart pounding against my rib cage. A team of people were packing things into boxes. Someone in white gloves was pulling Vanessa’s Banksy down and wrapping it in paper. Her mattress was propped against a wall, and a man was disassembling her bed. Someone was in the kitchen, boxing up Grace’s bottles. A woman was on a ladder scraping the glow-in-the-dark stars off the ceiling.