Life's Too Short (The Friend Zone #3)(71)

I dragged a hand down my mouth. “And if I can’t get on the plane?”

She shrugged. “Then you can’t get on the plane. All I’m asking is that you try.”

I blew a breath out through my nose. I guess I’d have to figure this shit out eventually. My girlfriend was a travel vlogger. We’d need to fly to places. If I couldn’t fly, it meant I couldn’t come to her even when I could get away for a few days. And she was right, Badger Den was a pretty amazing reward—even if it was for three hours of what I was sure would be pure hell.

“Who’s watching Grace?” I asked grimly.

She smiled in that bubbly excited way she had. “Dad and Sonja. Sonja says it’s good for him to see that his efforts reap rewards.”

“And Harry Puppins?”

“Becky. I already texted her.”

I arched an eyebrow. “You text my assistant?”

“I text your everyone. All your people are my people now, remember?”

I snorted.

“Come on. Pleeeeease?” She wiggled.

I took another moment. “All right. Let’s try it.”

She clapped animatedly. “Okay, so I have a tip for you. A little life coaching.”

I let out a grim breath. “What?”

“Don’t think about it yet. Don’t think about it until it’s happening.”

I rubbed my forehead. “Yeah, I have a feeling that’s not going to be possible.”

“You know how when you’re running late, you’re all stressed? I don’t do that. Ever. If I’m supposed to be somewhere at two and I know I’m not getting there until two fifteen, I don’t let myself be stressed until two. Because until then, I’m not actually late yet. All I’m doing is feeling the stress of a thing that hasn’t even happened.”

“Yeah, but you know it’s coming. You know it’s going to happen.”

“That’s just looking at the sun, Adrian. Fuck what’s coming. Don’t focus on what’s going to happen. Or in this case, what might happen. Because who knows, you might get there and realize that you’ve built this whole thing up in your head. You might get on that plane and find out that you’re stronger than you think and you’re capable of anything.” She smiled at me. “And you are. I’ve never known anyone as capable as you.”

She kissed me gently. Then she leapt off the bed and went to the bathroom. I watched her go and waited for the door to click closed before I clutched a hand over my racing heart. The fact that I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath and we hadn’t even left the apartment yet should have been an indication.

My day didn’t go well. I couldn’t focus at work. I kept thinking about the plane ride. It was ridiculous, and I was getting pissed off at myself.

What was the big deal? It was three hours. That’s it. I could do anything for three hours. I’d sat in a prison for a week interviewing a client who’d chopped his neighbor up with an ax. I couldn’t get on a fucking airplane?

I tried to push it from my mind like she said. She was right. Maybe if I didn’t let myself dwell on it, I could just show up and tear the Band-Aid off. I’d walk onto that plane and just do it.

Ten hours later we were in the airport parking lot. Grace had been dropped off. Our bags were in the trunk. We’d checked in online and Vanessa had rolled essential oils on my pressure points and held my hand the whole way there.

I had a panic attack before I even got out of the car.





CHAPTER 24





7 SMALL TOWNS YOU MUST VISIT IN YOUR LIFETIME (YOU’LL LOVE #1)




VANESSA

We drove down a tiny main street with an enormous MERRY CHRISTMAS garland draped over the entrance. It was Christmas Eve and we’d just arrived in Nebraska to spend the holiday with Adrian’s mom and dad.

All the businesses were decked out for the holiday with Christmas lights and wreaths. It was snowing gently and people in parkas were bustling up and down the sidewalks with bags on their arms.

“This town looks like a Hallmark movie,” I said, petting Harry Puppins in my lap. “I feel like a big-city girl who’s about to learn the spirit of Christmas from a handsome local bachelor in a chunky reindeer sweater.”

Adrian laughed. “I hope not, since I don’t own that sweater.” Then his smile fell a little. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I wish we could have flown here.”

The airport panic attack had been four days ago, and he was still apologizing for it. He didn’t have to.

“It’s okay,” I said again. “I told you I appreciated you even trying.”

His jaw flexed. “It’s not okay.”

“When I have to do overseas stuff, I’ll just go without you,” I said. “I’ll come back as fast as I can.”

The lines in his forehead got deeper. This suggestion obviously wasn’t helping.

I put a hand on his arm. “Or, we can do local stuff so I can stay with you. We can do a weekend series on the best bed-and-breakfasts in Minnesota. And then when you get time off we’ll do cruise ships and road trips like this one. Rent an RV and explore all the cool campgrounds. We’ll figure it out. It’s not a big deal.”