Lead Me Home (Fight for Me #3)(89)

Didn’t mean I wasn’t completely ensnared.

I peeked back at him, unable to stop the grin that pulled to one side of my mouth. “Someone once told me the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Well . . . that and rough, sweaty, amazing sex.”

I bumped back into him and had to stifle a groan.

He was already hard and needy for me.

Was it wrong that I loved it?

That I reveled in the fact that one brush of a hand, one look, and we were both laid bare?

A rumble rolled from his chest and slid through me like a caress. “I like this someone. Tell them I approve.”

I giggled. “You can thank my grandma.”

Easy laughter rippled from his lips. “Oh God . . . your grandma is really gonna want to kick my ass now, isn’t she? God knows she always wanted to back in the day. She’d see me coming down the road, and the first thing I would hear was her shouting from the porch that she was watching me.”

“That’s because you were nothin’ but trouble.”

Those massive arms tightened around my waist, and he nuzzled his face under my jaw. “Gave her plenty of ammunition to hate me.”

I tsked quietly, loving the feel of his mouth where he was kissing on the cap of my shoulder. “She loved you.”

Obviously, she still did.

“Hardly.”

I stilled a little, hoping he’d hear the truth of my words. “You have it all wrong again, Ollie. You’re impossible not to love.”

His hands slipped down to the fronts of my thighs, riding up. “Could use a little of that lovin’ right now.”

I shivered and tried not to moan. “Think we better start on the stomach part before we get too distracted.”

He ran his nose through my hair.

Chills scattered.

“This kind of distraction is worth it, don’t you think, Sunshine?”

My knees went weak when he spread his hands out across my belly, the feel of him and the silky fabric gliding through the center of me.

“I think you’re gonna need your strength,” I breathed.

Another growl.

“You’re in so much trouble, Nikki Walters. So much trouble.”

“I can’t wait,” I told him.

Peeling himself away, he pulled two plates from the cabinet and poured a glass of wine for me and a scotch for himself. We plated our food and moved to the long high-top table that took up most of his kitchen space.

The view breathtaking.

The city and the night and the man sitting angled right next to me.

We ate and laughed.

We drank and reminisced.

Old bonds strengthening and new ones forming.

We tiptoed around the mention of Sydney, ignoring how it seemed as if she was right there in the middle of us. I couldn’t help but feel she kept coming closer and closer. Filling up the space between us and forcing us to look at the things that might be a true threat.

The things that would rip us apart.

I’d never been so sure of it than when Ollie suddenly palmed my knee under the table.

Though this time, it was different than the flirty, playful touches. A current of severity moved through it, and his voice went hoarse. “I missed you, Nikki.”

“You said that,” I teased, going back to what he’d said when he’d come upstairs.

He shook his head, refusing the lightness, and I knew he was stepping into the rough terrain we’d avoided.

Both of us knowing it was there.

Underfoot.

Unsure if we could navigate it.

“No, Nikki. I missed you. All these years, I missed you. So bad that I could physically feel another piece of myself missing.”

His words shivered through me like the warmest breeze, and he reached over and cupped the side of my face in one of his big, protective hands.

“I think that’s what missing someone means. They’re missing from you, not just from your life, but from your heart. And nothing, no matter how hard you try, really works or fully functions because you’re missing that piece.”

Moisture gathered in my eyes, and emotion rushed to thicken at the base of my throat. I covered his hand with mine and pressed him closer.

Wanting to erase everything between us.

Space and time and questions.

“I know, Ollie. I know exactly what you’re saying. Because I was missing that piece, too.”

He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing beneath his beard. I could feel the switch. The way every muscle in his body tightened.

Edged in grief and radiating with hope. “And Sydney . . .”

Her name struck the air like a sword. A whirring slice right down the middle, cutting us in two.

“She’s always gonna be missing from me, Nikki. There’s always gonna be that piece that isn’t entirely whole. I’ve got to accept that I’m never going to know what happened to her. Accept that part and try to let it go the best that I can. Because I want to be whole for you.”

Trembling, I set my hand on his face. “I would never ask you to let her go. All I can ask you to do is love me in the middle of it. Forgive yourself. Forgive me. Forgive us. Because I know Sydney would have forgiven us for falling in love. All she wanted was to experience life. All of us. She would never ask you to give that up.”

His entire body flinched, and his eyes slammed closed. “I’m trying, Nikki. I’m trying to believe that.”