Lead Me Home (Fight for Me #3)(105)

“I know.” He angled his face up to look at me. “I know. I’ve carried that for so many years, just like you have. And God, it hurts so bad, thinking about what she might have gone through. But I knew Sydney, and so did you.”

He seemed to have to force himself to straighten. “And I know you know she wouldn’t want this. You know she’d want you to live. To experience and to love and to take this life for all it’s worth.”

My hands curled into fists, my mind and my heart and my spirit at war.

For a minute, we got lost in it, both of us trying to catch up, before Rex took a step forward, his head angling as he started to speak.

“Rynna? My family? They are that life. I didn’t think I could love again after Sydney. It took me so many years of hating myself, thinking I deserved to be alone, that I didn’t get to find joy because of it. Thinking I deserved to suffer.”

Tremors raked down my spine, his words like claws sinking into my skin.

“I know better now. I know that’s not what Sydney would have wanted. I got that chance to live, Ollie. I was given it, and I’m not going to reject that gift. I won’t waste it. I love Rynna with all of me. Wholly. I was the fool who thought I didn’t have anything left to give when really I had everything. Right there. Waiting for me.”

Emotion curled and crushed.

Overwhelming.

Too much.

He shifted away, his hands on his hips, speaking the words toward the wall. “Don’t waste your life blaming yourself, Ollie. I’ve stood aside and watched you in misery for too long. I was a fucking coward who couldn’t tell you the truth because I was afraid you’d hate me. I’d convinced myself it’d only hurt you more, knowing about us. But I know better now.”

He looked back at me. “It’s time for us to both stop making those mistakes. It’s time for us to live. To embrace life the way Sydney would have wanted us to. Don’t waste that. Don’t waste what you and Nikki have. I haven’t seen you happy in so goddamned long . . . and these last weeks? That’s what you’ve been. Happy.”

Could feel my heart clattering in my chest. My voice shook. “I don’t know how to do that . . . how to live knowing she didn’t. I’ve spent my whole life searching for her. I don’t know how to accept that she’s . . . gone.”

Saying it was a blade.

Cutting deep.

Tears blurred my eyes.

Sydney was gone.

He looked back at me, his mouth wobbling with the truth. “You remember who she was.”

Fly, fly dragonfly.

We both jerked when the door leading to the outside stairs banged open. I moved to peer out into the hall.

I had to blink to clear my eyes, my spirit soaring at the sight before I realized it wasn’t Nikki.

It was Sammie.

Wringing her fingers nervously, attention darting all over the place like she thought she was doing something wrong.

“Sammie,” I said, stepping out into the hall. “What are you doing here?”

She gulped and tentatively looked up at me. “I’m worried about Nikki. She left early this morning, and I can’t get in touch with her. I was hoping she was here.”

It was instant.

The worry that blasted through me. “She’s not here. I haven’t talked to her. What do you mean, she left early?”

Sammie’s face fell. “I think she’s in trouble.”

Felt the world crashing down on me when Sammie nervously told me her suspicion of her uncle, and I grabbed my keys, rushing for the door.

Rex told me to go, promising that he would get Sammie home safely.

No one needed to be alone until we were sure.

Sammie didn’t want to speculate.

Terrified she was pointing a finger that shouldn’t be pointed.

But my guts screamed, my spirit sure.

I didn’t wait for the elevator. I took the three flights of stairs faster than I ever had, busting into the garage after I’d punched in the code.

Dread leeched through every inch of me when my sight landed on my turquoise truck.

The windshield was smashed in.

Fury rumbled like a storm.

Coming closer and closer.

My garage was a fucking fortress.

A place not a soul who wasn’t welcome should be able to get in to.

I inched forward.

Fear leeched into my flesh when I reached out and plucked the tiny folded note out from under the wiper.

Heart in my throat, I unfolded it, horror eating me up when I found what was written inside.

She can’t hide. She’s always been mine.





35





Nikki





It was funny how different it felt being out there alone. When there were no voices to cloud the calm beauty of the scene spread out like a painting in front of me.

The gurgle of the streams and the rush of the water as it gathered strength, rolling over the side of the jagged cliffs and tumbling to the lake far, far below.

I needed it.

Peace.

For hours, I’d driven in search of an answer, and I’d ended up here, seeking a place to process what had become a muddled, chaotic disaster inside me.

One made of sorrow and hurt and an onslaught of overwhelmingly devastating questions.

I lifted my face to the blazing sun that pounded from above, falling through the Alabama sky that was the purest blue.