Lady Gone Wicked (Wicked Secrets)(42)

But underneath all of that was a lonely ache. Epsom seemed somehow both very close and very, very far away. Someday, perhaps after she married, she would truly be happy again. She could bring James home to live with her. She could invent a distant cousin and kill her off. Montrose would not mind a young ward, would he? Perhaps he would not even notice. Men rarely had any interest in babies and young children, beyond the existence of an heir.

“Am I happy?” She repeated Nick’s question. “I am certainly trying to be.”

Soon.

Soon.





Chapter Thirty


“Mother has lost her mind, Nick.” Nathaniel threw himself into a wingback chair in Nick’s sitting room with a grimace. “Completely lost it.”

It had been two days since their outing to Richmond. Nick had paid a street urchin to keep watch at Montrose’s house on Wimpole Street and inform him the moment the duke arrived back in town. Apparently Montrose was still tending to his estate in Kent, and from all reports, he would remain there at least two more days.

Which meant that Adelaide was not yet spoken for. She did not belong to the duke, not yet, and therefore she was still Nick’s responsibility. She was his to protect and his to make happy.

But he was so bad at it.

It had already been a trying two days, to say the least. And now his mother had lost her mind?

“Then help her find it,” he said to Nathaniel.

“I tried. Do whatever you wish, I told her.”

Good Lord. “A dangerous proposition if ever there was one.”

Nathaniel buried his face in his hands and groaned. “You’ve no idea. It’s the wedding preparations, you see. Specifically, the wedding cake. Mother asked if Alice preferred the fruitcake with nuts or without. I simply told her that it made no difference in the world, as Alice despises fruitcake.”

“Dear God.” His brother was an idiot.

“Yes. Alice is not very happy with me at the moment.”

Nick fought a smile. “I should think not.”

“Why could I not lie, she asked me? She would have pretended to adore the fruitcake to keep my mother happy, as all brides have done since Eve’s first daughters were forced to marry their own brothers.”

Nick pressed his lips tight to hold back his laughter. “That is a rather…damning analogy.”

“Yes, well.” Nathaniel swiped a hand through his hair. “Alice truly hates fruitcake. And now Mother is determined to be the first woman in all England to not serve fruitcake at the wedding breakfast.”

Their mother as groundbreaker. A novel idea. “What will she serve instead?”

Nathaniel reached into his jacket and pulled out a card. He flicked it to Nick, who caught it deftly with one hand. He cocked a brow as he read the contents. It was an invitation.

“A cake-tasting party? I must decline. Please send Mother my regrets.”

“I most certainly will not,” Nathaniel snapped. “She is very insistent. She intends this to be the most magnificent cake to ever celebrate a wedding, and we must all give our thoughts on the matter.”

“I have no thoughts on the matter.”

“Then lie.” Nathaniel stood. “Even Father has agreed. Alice’s entire family will be there, and Wessex agreed as well. You can’t say no, brother.”

This gave Nick pause. He could say no, despite what Nate thought. But…he did not want to. He did not care two figs about cake, but he cared very much about Alice’s family—or one small part of it, anyway.

He longed for her. To be near her. Every moment of every day. When had she become as necessary as air to him?

He could not have her. He didn’t deserve her. He knew better than to reach for what was not his.

And yet…he ached.

He could not say no, after all, it seemed. He could not choose to be anywhere other than where she was.

But instead of answering to that effect immediately, he asked, “Why is Wessex coming? Doesn’t he have family of his own to concern himself with, rather than bothering ours?”

Nathaniel blinked at him. “Wessex was your idea. You refused to stand up with me and offered him as a replacement. Or don’t you remember?”

Nick frowned. He did remember. He also remembered that he had as good as promised Adelaide that he would take it back. He ought to do that right now…but still he found himself hesitating.

“Fine. I will be there,” he told Nathaniel.

His brother looked surprised that he had given up so easily, but quickly recovered. “Yes. Well. Very good, then. See that you are.” He paused. “Do consider casting your vote for chocolate, would you? If you don’t have a favorite of your own, I mean.”

Nate’s look was so hopeful that Nick was tempted to say he would. But why resist such a golden opportunity to torment his brother even further? “I think we must take our task seriously, Nate. This obviously means a great deal to Mother. I cannot in good conscience advise her falsely or provide her with anything other than my honest opinion.”

Nate snorted. “In that case, I hope you choke on it.”

“Do you, now?” Nick smiled pleasantly. “And here I had hoped the past was behind us.”

“I’ve certainly groveled enough that it should be. Why do you insist on clinging so tightly to old wounds, Nick?”