Labyrinth Lost (Brooklyn Brujas #1)(63)

“Nova, stop. You know I can’t let you keep using your powers.”

“No one lets me do anything.”

“Well, maybe if someone did, you wouldn’t get yourself in so much trouble.”

He shuts his eyes and gives me his cheek. “You guys don’t know squat about me.”

“Then tell us something. Your answer is to act like the world is against you. Believe me, I know. I felt like that every single day. I felt like my magic was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It broke my family. It breaks so many people.”

“Now you’ve changed your mind?” He’s being defensive.

“Something’s changed—me, the magic, this place. I can’t explain it. There are moments when the magic feels right. There are other moments when I’m afraid of what I could be capable of. There’s this tiny voice that takes pleasure in doing bad things. I’m afraid I could become like the Devourer.”

“Never,” he tells me. He reaches for my face, but then he catches himself and instead rubs his hands over his face.

“You could never be like that,” Rishi says.

Nova looks up at the sky and mouths a silent rezo. “I never had my Deathday because my parents died when I was a kid. Deadbeat dad, drunk mom, delinquent brothers and sisters. The only ones who got away were my eldest brother, Unico, who turned his back on us and became a cop. Then my sister, Cinqua. She ran away the first minute she got a chance and I haven’t seen her since. I should have gone to my grandmother, but she already had too many kids in the house. Plus, she was still mad at my pops. Isn’t that something? Only brujas can stay mad at someone who’s dead. Besides, my old man would’ve been real disappointed if he knew I’m just a human matchstick.”

“Don’t say that,” I tell him.

He smiles, but I can see the strain in his face. “Don’t worry about me, Ladybird. The first time my magic appeared, I hurt someone. I didn’t mean to. Let’s just say my foster parents weren’t exactly out of a fairy tale. My foster father deserved it. After that, I just kept running and hiding. When the marks started, I wasn’t sure what was happening. I don’t have a Book of Cantos like you, and I don’t belong to no Circle. When my grandma finally took me in, she tried to give me the family blessing. But my family’s so broken, even the dead have forgotten us.”

“So you knew the consequences, but you use your powers anyway.” Rishi licks her lip. She’s hungry. We’re all hungry, but it seems wrong to eat while Nova is talking about his past. “Why?”

“Survival of the illest,” he says, but his laugh is forced. “I’ve never been much good at being anyone other than who I am. Even if it got me locked up. Even if it kills me in the end.”

“What happened?”

He shrugs. I hate when he shrugs.

“Girl was in trouble. I tried to help her from getting mugged. Someone called the police. She couldn’t really tell me apart from the people trying to hurt her.”

He won’t look at us. He’s startled when Rishi is the one who takes his hand to give him comfort.

“The marks have only gotten worse recently.” He holds up his hands. The black marks are as dark as ink. No wonder he has so many tattoos. What better way to cover up his magical ones?

“I told myself I’d figure out a way to reverse it.” He holds his hands up to the flames. “While I was in juvie, these guys showed me there was a way.”

“Is that why you need the money?”

He looks down at his feet and nods.

“I promise I’ll help you,” I tell him. “After all of this, I’ll do everything I can.”

“I don’t deserve that,” he says. “Besides, if I burn up in Los Lagos, then you don’t have to pay me at all.”

And that does it. It hits me in the gut that he’s not here for me. Not truly.

“I’m sorry, that was a stupid thing to say,” he says.

I put on a smile and shake it off. “Well, you’ve made up for it by cooking dinner.”

“Hold up,” Nova says. “I confessed a secret. It’s Rishi’s turn.”

“A nice Guyanese girl like me?” Rishi winks. “Alex already knows all my secrets.”

“I doubt that,” Nova mutters.

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I tell Rishi. “I was afraid you’d see me differently. You were the one person that made me forget about my magic.”

“I love your magic.” Rishi holds my stare. Her eyes flick to my lips, then back to my eyes. “I should tell you that you look different. Good different. You walk with your head up and your eyes are brighter. You wear the magic on your skin. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

I always used to say that magic transformed Lula. I didn’t think it would do the same to me. But the more I use my power, the more I feel it changing me.

Nova clears this throat. He takes the rabbit off the fire and rests it between the three of us. “You guys ready to eat or what?”

“Wait. Give me your hands.” I hold out my hands for them to take. I do something my mother used to when I was younger. “Thank you, La Mama, for this meal and for lighting our path. El Terroz for the bounty of your rich, strong earth.”