Klara and the Sun(57)

‘Part of the family. Is that what you’re saying?’

The Mother stared at him, then seemed to change her mind about something and shook Josie’s jacket in the air.

‘Come on, honey. We need to go.’



* * *



—

While we were waiting outside for the Mother’s car, the Father – wearing his raincoat again – stood with his arm around Josie. They were at the front edge of the sidewalk while I stood further back, almost at the townhouse’s railings, the pedestrians passing between us. Because of our positions and the unusual outdoor acoustics, I had difficulty hearing their words. At one point the Father turned towards me, but continued speaking to Josie even as his eyes examined me. Then a black-skinned lady with large earrings passed between us, and when she’d gone, the Father’s back was turned once more.

When the Mother’s car arrived, Josie and I got into the back, and as we set off, I tried to catch her eye, to give reassurance in case she was anxious about posing for her portrait. But she was looking out of the window on her own side and didn’t turn my way.

The Mother’s car made slow progress, leaving one traffic line only to get held up in another. We passed shuttered doorways and buildings with crossed-out windows. It began to rain again, the umbrella couples appeared and the dog lead people moved in a hurry. Once there appeared on my side – close enough that I might have touched it had I lowered my window – a soaked wall covered in angry cartoon writing.



‘It’s not so bad,’ the Mother was saying to the Father. ‘There aren’t enough of us. Budget per campaign’s down almost forty percent. We’re in chronic conflict with the PR people. But otherwise, yes. It’s fine.’

‘Steven still making his presence felt?’

‘Certainly is. Same congenial figure he always was.’

‘You know, Chrissie. I really do wonder if it’s worth it. You hanging on this way.’

‘I’m not sure I understand. What is it I’m hanging onto?’

‘Goodwins. Your law department. This whole…world of work. Your every waking moment determined by some contract you once signed.’

‘Please let’s not go over this again. I’m sorry about what happened to you, Paul. I’m sorry and I’m still angry. But I keep hanging on, as you put it, because on the day I stop, Josie’s world, my world, would collapse.’

‘Why are you so sure of that, Chrissie? Look, it’s a big step, I know. I’m only suggesting you think about it further. Try viewing things from a fresh perspective.’

‘Fresh perspective? Come on, Paul. Don’t start claiming you’re happy about the way it turned out. All that talent. All that experience.’

‘Honestly? I think the substitutions were the best thing that happened to me. I’m well out of it.’

‘How can you say that? You were top-flight. Unique knowledge, specialist skills. How is it right no one can make use of you?’

‘Chrissie, I have to tell you, you’re much more bitter about it than I am. The substitutions made me take a completely fresh look at the world, and I really believe they helped me to distinguish what’s important from what isn’t. And where I live now, there are many fine people who feel exactly the same way. They all came down the same road, some with careers far grander than mine. And we all of us agree, and I honestly believe we’re not kidding ourselves. We’re better off than we were back then.’



‘Really? Everyone thinks that? Even that friend of yours, the one who was the judge in Milwaukee?’

‘I’m not saying it’s always easy. We all have our bad days. But compared to what we had before, we feel like…we’re really living for the first time.’

‘That’s good to hear from an ex-husband.’

‘Sorry. Look, never mind this. I have some questions. About this portrait.’

‘Not now, Paul. Not here.’

‘Hmm. Okay.’

‘Hey, Dad,’ Josie called out beside me. ‘You go ahead and ask what you want. I’m not listening.’

‘Like hell you’re not listening,’ the Father said and laughed.

‘No more arguments about the portrait, Paul,’ the Mother said. ‘You owe me that.’

‘I owe you? I don’t quite see why I owe you anything, Chrissie.’

‘Not now, Paul.’

It was just then I realized that the Tow-Away Zone sign we were passing was the very one I knew so well, and in that same instant, the RPO Building appeared on Josie’s side, and the familiar taxis were all around us. But when I turned with excitement towards our store, I could see something was not correct.

Of course I’d never seen the store from the street, but even so, there were no AFs and no Striped Sofa in the window. Instead there was a display of colored bottles and a sign saying ‘Recessed Lighting’. I turned right around to continue looking just as Josie said:



‘Hey, Klara, you know where we are?’

‘Yes, of course.’ But we were already beyond the pedestrian crossing, and I hadn’t even looked to see if the birds were perched up on the traffic signal. In fact I’d been so startled by the store’s new appearance, I’d not observed the surroundings nearly as much as I’d have liked. And then we were in a different section of the street altogether, and I turned again to see, through the rear windshield, the RPO Building growing smaller.