King's Reign (Sydney Storm MC #6)(48)

She shook her head and reached for the mug in front of her. After she took a sip, she said, “I think I managed two, maybe three hours. I was thinking about you all night.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. What a prick you can be.”

“Because a prick would fucking rescue you from the motherfucker you put your trust in, and find you a bed to sleep in while you get your shit together.” Fuck, even when I didn’t wanna argue with her, she managed to get under my skin and rile me up to the point where I fucking found myself arguing over stuff I gave zero shits about.

“Fuck you, King.”

I scrubbed a hand over my face while I forced myself to take a moment and think about what came out of my mouth next. We could sit here and argue our way to lunchtime or I could lead the conversation in a better direction. Blowing out a harsh breath, I said, “Why did you say no yesterday when I suggested I drop you over to Bethany’s?”

She averted her gaze, refusing to look at me while she turned silent.

“Ivy,” I pushed. “What’s going on?”

Another few moments passed between us in silence before finally she looked back up at me. “I haven’t spoken to her in five years. We had a falling out, and she refuses to talk to me now.”

“What happened?” I didn’t like the woman; I didn’t like that she turned her back on family.

She fiddled with the tablecloth as a tear slid down her face. “She didn’t like Tony. We’d argued over him for a long time, and after one of my miscarriages, she told me to choose between them. I chose my husband.”

“So she did the same thing to you over him that she did over me?”

“Yes.”

I hated that a mother could do that to her child. But as much as I disliked the woman, the fact remained she was Ivy’s mother, and I could see Ivy’s pain over losing her. “You should call her, tell her what’s happened. She might surprise you with her response.”

“And she might not.” She looked at me through her tears. “I don’t know if I could handle that.” Her voice cracked, slicing through my heart. This conversation threw me back to the past, to the time in our lives when so much shit was going down and bad decisions were being made. It fucking dredged up old hurts and a fuckload of anger that I still carried with me. I’d tried to let that shit go, but because it was all tied together in my mind with Margreet’s death, I’d failed.

I chose not to push her on it yet. Instead, I said, “You heard about Tony?”

“Yes.” Her voice held relief. “The lawyers are helping me sort through everything, but there won’t be much left over when all is said and done, so I just need to pick myself up and start over.”

“Brian can help you with that. He’s got contacts everywhere. He’ll help you find a job, and you can stay here for as long as you need.”

“Does he owe you for something? Is that why he’s okay with me staying?”

“No. We manage this place together. I front the cash, he runs it.”

She wiped her tears away while she studied me for a beat. “For an asshole, you do good things sometimes.”

“Just trying to help the people who need it. That’s all.”

She slowly shook her head. “No, that’s not all, King. I may have hated you for a long time, and been angrier with you than with anyone else in my entire life, but even I can acknowledge when you do something nice. I’ve met the two women staying here at the moment. Their lives were unimaginable, worse than mine with Tony, and what you’ve given them is hope.”

My chest squeezed with heaviness. This place may have helped numerous women, but the one woman I should never have turned my back on sat in front of me broken because of my actions. “I should have kept an eye on you after you married Tony.”

“No, that wasn’t your burden to carry.”

“Fuck, Ivy, if I hadn’t—”

Her shoulders slumped and she sagged in her chair as she cut me off. “Don’t blame yourself for the choices I made in my life once you were no longer part of it. Sure, while we were together we both made some shitty decisions, but after that”—she shrugged—“my choices were all mine. And some days, like today, when I’m honest with myself, I can see I’m a fucked-up mess. Maybe if you stop by tomorrow, I’ll be back to thinking you’re an asshole and hating you for the part you played in it. But today, I just think you’re an asshole who tries to help people and sometimes gets it right.”

As I listened to her, a rolling movie of memories filled my head. All the years we’d spent loving each other and fucking each other up. We’d never had a chance. Not with the shit we’d each been through before we even met.

When a puzzle was missing pieces, it would never be complete. It would always be lacking. Ivy and I never had a shot at making that damn puzzle come together because we were missing pieces all over the place and the pieces we did have didn’t slot together in the right ways.

Sometimes two people just weren’t meant to be together.

Sometimes there was more hate than love, more war than peace.

Sometimes love wasn’t enough.

I stood. “You’ve got my number. Use it if you need something.”

There was one more thing I could do to help her, and as much as doing it would put me back in front of someone I wanted to forget, I would do it. Because even though Ivy and I would never be together again, I would never stop wanting the best for her.