Kian (Undercover Billionaire, #1)(7)

“I wasn’t going to ever trust anyone again after what you’d done to me.” He’d been smart to feel that way. And now he wasn’t sure how he was feeling.

There were so many emotions filling Kian, he didn’t know which to focus on. There was a sense of urgency to grab his child, to make sure Roxie knew Lily was his and that he wouldn’t lose another moment in her life. But there was a need to protect Roxie as well.

She’d left him, and it had nearly destroyed him. Kian in no way thought of himself as a weak man. He was strong and capable, and this small woman had done her best to drop him to his knees. And yet he still couldn’t turn away even now, not when she was in pain.

“Maybe you need to realize what your exit did to the people around you,” he pointed out. “And maybe it’s just that I never really knew you at all, because the girl I’d been in love with wouldn’t have been capable of leaving like you did, wouldn’t be capable of such a coldhearted act.”

Finally, Roxie looked up at him, and there was now fire in her eyes. Kian felt an urge to take a step back, but there was no way he was going to retreat. She’d pushed him back enough in the past four years. If anyone was going to retreat, it would be her, he thought.

Though he had tried to push her from his mind, he hadn’t been very successful. Every woman he’d dated, every night he’d laid his head down to sleep, every time he’d listened to classic country and “I Love the Way You Love Me” by John Michael Montgomery came on the radio, he was reminded of Roxie. She’d consumed him for years, and she’d continued doing so even after she was gone.

He hated her a little for that. He hated himself even more. Before Roxie, he’d always thought men who couldn’t get over a relationship were a little pathetic. Sometimes things just weren’t meant to be. Endings shouldn’t be what defined a person.

“You were with Pamela,” Roxie said, her voice filled with accusation. There was so much hurt and rage in her tone, he didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t owe Roxie a damn thing, but he found himself wanting to explain the situation to her. He shifted as he fought the urge—and lost.

“I was with her one time. I went to a bar with friends. She was there, and she made it clear she wanted to go home with me. I was drunk and she was available,” he said as he shrugged, trying to act as if it didn’t matter.

“I would have thought you’d at least use protection,” she said.

“I always use protection. Obviously, it fails sometimes,” he snapped. “This isn’t a discussion we should be having in front of Lily,” he added.

“She’s only three, and even if she was awake, she wouldn’t understand what we’re talking about,” she pointed out.

“You have no right to be mad. You left me,” he reminded her.

“I’m not mad at you,” she snapped. He watched as she closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths. He knew that was exactly what he should be doing as well. Snapping at each other wasn’t solving any of their problems.

“Fate can be cruel,” he said with a humorless laugh. “It looks like the two of us are now locked together for the rest of our lives.”

There were equal parts of joy and apprehension at the thought of raising Lily with Roxie, which appeared to be what Pamela wanted for their child. At one point in his life, that was the ultimate dream, to raise children with Roxie. But then she’d left. And Kian hadn’t truly had time for all this to sink in, and it would probably be far safer for the two of them if they both calmed down before saying some things that couldn’t be taken back. He certainly didn’t want Lily to see him as a monster.

What had she already been through? What kind of life had she led? He could’ve given her the world, and would have, if her mother would’ve only told him he was a father.

“We aren’t doing anything together, Kian,” Roxie was quick to point out, which made him angry all over again.

“You’re not paying attention, Roxie,” he said, not in the mood to stroke her ego. There was something deep down that made him still want to protect her, but he pushed that aside. “Maybe all your family knows is how to play games, how to deceive men. Maybe your sister loved holding one over on one of the Forbeses. I know there are many who are jealous of my family, thinking we hold too much power. But you used to know me better than any other person on this planet. You knew I never wanted to take advantage of my family name, that I wanted to make it on my own.”

She sighed, and he saw that knowledge in her gaze. At least she wasn’t going to sit there and lie to him or put him down. He wondered if that would hurt him.

“You always did work so much harder to prove yourself so people wouldn’t say you were spoiled,” she admitted.

Kian hadn’t wanted to say he’d been given a silver spoon because of the way he’d been born. He’d studied hard, and now he was a doctor in extreme demand. He was often called to other places where only he could help. There was a lot of pride in knowing he was worthy of his family name.

It was almost odd to him that he’d been coasting through life without a lot of care in the world until he’d met Roxie. And then he’d been in love, willing to drop to his knees for her. Then she’d left, and he’d become a different man—harder. And now he was a father. This woman was responsible for all the major shifts in his life.