Jock Rule (Jock Hard #2)(35)

“Liar—you stereotyped me.”

“Well…how could I not? Look at you—you look like Bigfoot’s cousin.”

“Bigfoot isn’t a real person, Theodora.”

“But if he was—”

“He’s not.”

“For the sake of argument—”

“He’s not though, so we can’t argue about it.”

“Kipling, I swear on all that is holy—”

This agreement is never going to work, and why on earth I thought it would is completely lost on me.

I open my mouth and tell him, “You’re fired.”

“What?”

“This isn’t going to work. You’re too confrontational, and you’re not going to like anyone who talks to me—plus none of these guys are my type. So you’re fired.”

“I’m free labor—you can’t fire me.”

“So we agree this isn’t working? And that we’re done.”

“Fine. Can we just stop arguing now and go to my house?”

He wants to leave? Fine by me, I’ve spoken to almost no guys anyway, haven’t had the chance to flirt, and haven’t seen my friends all night, either.

I’m exhausted.

“You want me to come over?” I can’t hide the surprise in my voice. He wants me to go to his place—again? I thought he didn’t like people there.

He gives me a wide-shouldered shrug. “Sure, why not. You already know where I live—not that I want you dropping by unexpectedly.”

As if I’d do that. “Like I’d be able to find it on my own.”

“Whatever. Just get your shit and let’s bounce. This party sucks but I’m not tired. We can watch a movie or play a game or something.”

Play a game?

“Yeah okay, I could do a movie. And we can leave now, because I didn’t bring any shit. I could stand to run home to grab some sweats, though.”

Kip jingles his glittery car keys. “Sure.”

“Then let’s go.”

I can text Mariah later to let her know I’m not staying.

To be honest, she won’t even notice I’m gone.

***

KIP

Ronnie: Doing

Kip: Why do you do that?

Ronnie: Do what?

Kip: Ask what I’m doing by only using that one word. It’s so freaking annoying.

Ronnie: I know LOL

Ronnie: So? What are you doing?

Kip: Why?

Ronnie: Can’t I check in on you?

Kip: It’s midnight on a Friday—what do you think I’m doing?

Ronnie: I know what you’re NOT doing—a GIRL HAHAHAHA

Kip: You’re funny.

Ronnie: Hey, speaking of girls—what happened with that stray you brought home last weekend?

Kip: Teddy isn’t a stray. And right now she’s in the bathroom peeing.

Ronnie: Whose bathroom?

Kip: Mine.

Ronnie: SHUT UP. SHE IS NOT IN YOUR HOUSE AGAIN??? What?! Stop it.

Ronnie: WHY? Who is this girl and what has she done to you?

Kip: Knock it off.

Ronnie: CLEARLY she has a magic vagina.

Kip: I wouldn’t know.

Ronnie: SHUT. UP. Two weekends in a row and you haven’t slept with her? You have issues, you know that right?

Kip: Yes, I know that.

Ronnie: So you put her in the friend zone? Is she cool with that?

Kip: Trust me, she’s not into me.

Ronnie: Hmm, are you sure?

Kip: She changed out of the dress she wore to the party and into a cow onesie. It’s really unflattering.

Ronnie: Oh. Seriously?

Kip: No. But trust me, she’s not into me.

Ronnie: Did she invite herself over or did you invite her over?

Kip: I invited her.

Ronnie: Okay…

Ronnie: Why would you do that?

Kip: I don’t fucking know, Ron—to watch movies? That’s what people do with their friends.

Ronnie: At midnight on a Friday. Because you always invite your “friends” to the house. Righhhht…

Kip: That’s what normal people do, Ronnie. They have friends over.

Ronnie: NEWSFLASH KID: You are not “normal people” and you don’t ever have people over to your house. Does she think it’s weird you’re not living in a shithole?

Kip: I think so, but she’s been cool about it. She doesn’t gush over it or anything.

Ronnie: Well that’s good.

Ronnie: Does she know what you look like without all the hair? Has she seen any photos lying around?

Kip: There are no pictures lying around, give me a damn break.

Ronnie: So she has no idea how cute you are?

Kip: How do I respond to that? No, I guess Teddy doesn’t know what I look like without the hair—and she’s not going to.

Ronnie: Hairy beast mode.

Kip: Yup.

Ronnie: Suit yourself, baby brother.

Kip: I will.

Ronnie: Still not getting any action, either, are you? Still celibate as a monk?

Kip: None LOL

Kip: TTYL she’s coming.

Ronnie: Coming! Get it! But not from you though…

Kip: **eye roll** Go to sleep.

***

“Why is it so damn cold in here? Kip, I’m freezing!”