It's Only Love(74)
God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each
of us—in the dreariest and most dreaded moments—can see a possibility of hope.
—Maya Angelou
It had been an odd Thanksgiving for Gavin. He’d spent most of the day wishing Ella were there to make everything better, but his parents were also different today. Sure, his mom was scurrying around making the traditional turkey dinner, but they were also packing for their trip to Turks and Caicos in the morning. Apparently, they were on the same flight from Boston with Hannah, Nolan, Will, Cameron, Hunter and Megan. They’d even hired a limo to transport them all from Vermont to Logan Airport.
His parents were excited about the trip, excited for the wedding, excited about everything lately, or so it seemed to him.
“Too bad you couldn’t get away to come with us, Gav,” his dad said while they watched football before dinner.
“Things are nuts at the yard,” he said, as he always did.
“You know . . . No man lies on his deathbed wishing he’d spent more time at work.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know what it means.”
“You ever run your own business, Dad? No, I didn’t think so.”
“Point taken. However, you have excellent employees who are more than capable of covering for you for a few days so you can get away. Everyone needs a break once in a while. That’s all I’m saying.”
It was nothing Gavin hadn’t told himself, repeatedly, especially after the invitation had come for Dylan’s wedding and everyone began making plans to go. He’d never had any intention of going for reasons that were his and his alone.
By three thirty he was standing in front of the window that looked out over the driveway watching for Ella. He and his parents sat down to eat at four, and as it did every year, Caleb’s glaring absence left an empty space across the table and in Gavin’s heart. He missed him so much—every day, but more so on days like this that were set aside for family, and he was forced to confront how small his family had become.
Over dinner, his mom said she wanted to talk about what they were thankful for. “I’ll start,” she said with a warm, happy smile. “This year I’m thankful for my husband and son and what we’ve managed to weather together. I’m thankful to have been Caleb’s mother, to have the incredible blessing of his life to cherish for the rest of mine.” She took a deep breath, dabbed at her eyes and continued. “I’m thankful for the inn that Hannah started, which has given Dad and me all new purpose this year and for the grandbaby she will soon bring into our lives. I’m thankful for your beautiful smile, Gavin. I’ve missed it, and it’s nice to see it back again. And for that, I’m most thankful to Ella, who has given you reason to smile again. That’s my list.”
“Ditto,” his dad said.
“That’s a cop-out,” Amelia said, smiling at her husband.
“How so? I’m thankful for all those same things.”
“All right, fine. Be that way. What about you, Gav?”
Gavin felt surprisingly emotional after hearing his mother’s heartfelt list, and her inclusion of Ella touched him deeply. “I’m thankful for all those things, too. Mostly for you guys. I’m glad we always have each other even if we don’t see each other every day. You know I’m right there for you, or at least I hope you do.”
“Of course we do,” Amelia said, laying her hand over his. “You’ve been a wonderful son to us your entire life, but never more so than since we lost your brother.”
Gavin forced a smile for his mom as he contended with the lump in his throat. For as long as he’d lived, he’d done so in the shadow of his much more accomplished older brother. He’d never minded the shadow and had missed it after it was gone, but the irony that Caleb had been the one to die young wasn’t lost on him. It should’ve been him. Caleb had had a wife he’d adored, an incredible career, so many talents and a future filled with promise.
Whereas Gavin had none of those things. He would always wish it had been him instead of Caleb. It would’ve been easier for everyone if it had been him. But as he waited to see Ella again, for the first time in a long time, he was glad it hadn’t been him. He finally had something worthwhile to live for again, and he couldn’t wait to see her.
They had finished dinner and were cleaning up when a knock on the mudroom door had him bolting across the kitchen. Gavin threw open the door, and there she was looking fresh-faced and beautiful and as happy to see him as he was to see her. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight against him, breathing her in and filled with relief to have her back where she belonged.
Two weeks ago, he would’ve shied away from that thought, but now he couldn’t deny that she belonged to him, and he belonged to her. And he liked it that way.
“There you are,” he said after a long moment of silence.
“Here I am.”
“Missed you.”
“Missed you, too.”
He drew back from her and gazed down at her lovely face before stealing a quick kiss. It took all he had to remember where he was and that he couldn’t lose himself in the kiss or her. Not now anyway. But the minute he could spirit her away from his parents’ house all bets were off.
He helped her out of her coat and took her by the hand to lead her into the kitchen where his mother was preparing to serve up the one pie she’d made—apple because it was his favorite. She normally made a lot more food, but because they were leaving town for a week, she’d dialed it back this year.