It's Only Love(61)

“He did.”

“Good. People have a right to their opinions about war and politics and religion, but to say that to someone who lost their brother . . .”

“It’s obscene.”

“On that we agree, my dear.” He put his arms around her. “You’ve gotten involved with a complicated man. A good man. A man I respect. I ache for what he’s lost, but I love you far too much to watch you be hurt by that good, complicated man. I just hope you’re being careful to protect your heart.”

Ella laughed even as she blinked back tears. “I’m not being careful at all. I’m crazy in love with him, and I have been for longer than I can remember.” She wiped away the tears that spilled down her cheeks. The emotional reaction irritated and embarrassed her.

Her dad smiled down at her, his love shining through the way it always did. “You’re our practical child, the one who always thinks before she acts, who plans everything with meticulous attention to detail. Those qualities make you exceptionally reliable and good at what you do for a living, but they aren’t necessarily the skills you need in this situation with Gavin.” He pressed his lips to her forehead.

Comforted by his love and words of wisdom, Ella said, “What skills do I need?”

“Besides patience and fortitude?”

Ella laughed again. “Yes, other than that.”

“I don’t know, honey, but I do know that you’re more than up to whatever challenge he presents. If anyone can lead that boy out of the darkness and back into the light, you can.”

Touched and bolstered by his confidence in her, Ella looked up at him. “You really think so?”

“I know so. Just don’t let him be less than what you deserve. You hear me?”

Ella nodded. “I won’t.”

“Good.” He hugged her again. “Now go on home and get some sleep. I’ll lock up here. You did great tonight, but then you always do.”

“Love you, Dad.”

“Love you, too.”

On the short ride home, Ella thought about what her dad had said about the complicated man she’d fallen in love with. It helped to know he respected Gavin and liked him. That made it easier to tolerate the hurdles they were sure to encounter.

She wanted so badly to go to him, to seek him out. But she couldn’t do that. She’d done that too many times already. Ella had no doubt at all that he cared deeply for her, as deeply as he’d ever cared for any woman. However, she couldn’t keep this relationship going on her own. He had to meet her halfway.

Though it pained her greatly, she drove to her home rather than his. She would drown her sorrows with Ben and Jerry and get back to work on the blanket she was knitting for her new niece or nephew. It wasn’t like she didn’t have a life separate from him.

Ella trudged up the stairs, mentally and physically exhausted from the week at work and the emotional ups and downs of her time with Gavin. She made a beeline for the freezer, where her pint of Cherry Garcia sitting next to his pint of Cake Batter made her miss him fiercely.

She pulled the lid off her pint and dug a spoon into the creamy goodness. Taking the ice cream with her, she went into her bedroom, kicked off the heels she’d worn to work and changed into flannel pajama pants, a long-sleeve T-shirt and her favorite moccasin slippers. Tonight was all about comfort anywhere she could find it.

Settled on the sofa with her ice cream and a down comforter over her lap, Ella pulled out her knitting bag and got to work on the blanket, determined to focus on the project rather than wondering where Gavin was, what he was doing and whether he regretted taking off the way he had earlier.

Anger and frustration fueled her work as the multicolored yarn came together in rich pattern of pinks, blues and yellows. She couldn’t wait for the baby to arrive, to have someone new to love, to watch him or her grow up and be part of his or her life from the first day. Though she’d hoped to be a mother many times over by now, being an aunt would have to do, and she planned to be the best aunt ever to Max’s baby as well as Hannah’s.

A sob escaped from Ella’s tightly clenched jaw. She dropped a stitch and tossed aside the blanket in aggravation. It was a bad night when Ben and Jerry were unable to work their usual magic and when she started dropping stitches. That hadn’t happened since she was first learning. Her grandma Sarah, who’d said she was a knitting prodigy, would be appalled, a thought that had Ella actively sobbing.

A soft knock on the door startled her out of the pity party. She swiped at the tears that refused to stop coming, even when she tried to mop them up with the comforter.

A second knock brought her to her feet. “Who is it?”

“Me.”

She contained the powerful urge to run to the door, to throw it open, to jump into his arms. “What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“I’m not really in the mood to talk. It’s been a long day.”

“Ella, please open the door. Give me the chance to apologize. Please?”

Sighing, she went to the door, leaned her head against it for a long moment before she turned the knob. The first thing she saw and smelled were roses—lots of roses in every imaginable color—pink, red, white, yellow, coral.

“I didn’t know what color represented ‘I’m sorry for being a dick’ so I got one of each color hoping the right one is in there somewhere. And oh f*ck, you’ve been crying. God, Ella, I’m so sorry.”