It's One of Us(83)

“I didn’t tell her anything. What good would that do now? Besides, I did come back, once.”

Lindsey sits up. “What? When?”

“I don’t remember the exact date, but it was before the Melanie Rich situation. Dad was going downhill, I’d spoken to him on the phone and he sounded awful. I knew Park was at school, so I wouldn’t have to see him. I’d hoped to surprise you and Olivia, but her mom said the two of you were gone for a long weekend. So I saw Dad, and good thing I did, because he died right after that.”

“I’m still furious with him for forbidding a funeral.”

“Me too. Maybe if we’d all gotten together over his grave, things would be different between Park and me. Anyway, I didn’t want to stay away like this. It’s just how things worked out. I like my life. I love my job. I miss seeing you, but that’s part of being an adult, I guess. We don’t always get what we want. At least we have FaceTime, right?”

“Yes.” He feels her slip away, thinking about something. “A long weekend with Olivia? I don’t remember that.”

“Linds, it was years ago. I doubt I remember everything—”

“No, really. I have an excellent memory. The Melanie Rich thing happened my sophomore year. I’d transferred from UT to Hollins. I was getting lost in the crowds in Knoxville, needed a smaller environment. I didn’t come home at all that semester because I was trying to get my footing in Virginia. I definitely didn’t go on any long weekends with Olivia. I didn’t see her until winter break. By then Melanie was missing and Park was being harassed by the police. And Dad was such a wreck. Bah, whatever. It doesn’t matter what I was doing. But if my big brother decided to come home from Europe, the least he could have done was call ahead and check to see if his favorite sister was going to be home.”

“You’re my only sister.”

“Shut up, doofus.”

Perry laughs. He’s forgotten how good it is to be with someone who knows you inside and out and calls you on your bullshit.

“So, if Olivia had been here, what would you have done?”

He shoots the rest of the Scotch, enjoying the long burn into his belly. “Beg. Plead. Propose. Anything to get her to take me back. I was an idiot for leaving, but she pushed me away so hard I didn’t know what else to do. I was hurt. Everything was great with us, and suddenly she put up a wall and wouldn’t let me in. Next thing I know, she’s marrying Park. I mean, I guess that’s what she wanted all along—”

“It wasn’t.” There’s a worrying note in his sister’s voice.

He pours another drink. “I’m not drunk enough to hear this.”

“Me either. Give me some of that.” He tips the bottle to her glass, the amber liquid purling. She sips, closing her eyes, either in pleasure or against whatever she’s about to say. “She loved you. She did. I’m sure she still does. The way she was looking at you when you were in her room today...trust me, the feelings are still there. It’s just a really crappy time for you to be making a reappearance. You’ll seem like an option, an escape. I know her, better than you, better than Park. Maybe better than she does. She’s unhappy, the wheels are coming off, and here comes Lancelot, her unrequited love, just in time to pick up the pieces.”

His traitorous heart takes a happy little leap. Maybe he wants to be the distraction. Again.

“Is she unhappy with Park? Or is she unhappy they can’t have children? Because those are very different things.”

“Both. I’m totally speaking out of turn here, but damn it, I love all of you, and I just want everyone to be happy. Park isn’t happy, either. I doubt the marriage lasts. They’ve been on fumes for a couple of years now. They’re just too stubborn to admit it. Now that he has all these kids? Hell, if I was in her shoes, that would be the last straw. I’d be out. I bet she bolts.”

“Is he cheating on her?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. They love each other. They do. But the stress of losing so many babies, it’s been hard on them both. So hard.” Lindsey chokes up, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “It’s been hard on all of us, but Olivia... Jesus, Perry. I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this. You have to swear to me to never, ever, say anything to her. But it might explain things.”

His heart thumps hard, and he sets the glass on the coffee table. He notices the stack of books in the center are BBC companion pieces to some of their more famous nature shows, with photos Perry has taken inside. Did Lindsey buy them? Or Olivia?

“Explain what?”

“Lucía has told me a hundred times that secrets kill people.”

Lindsey is struggling, and he puts up a hand. “Listen, nothing is—”

“She had an abortion.”

“Lucía?”

“Olivia.”

It takes a second for that to register.

“Why would she do that? Is she not miscarrying, she’s—”

“No, Perry. In high school. After prom.”

He sits numbly, waiting for the pain, her words a cut to his soul as sure as any blade.

“You’re saying the baby was mine?”

Lindsey nods and the tears spill. “She swore me to secrecy, and I’ve kept her secret all these years. But now... Perry, I can’t hold this weight any longer. It’s tearing me apart.”